ANNOUNCER V/O: “We hope you’ve enjoyed this special Fox-25 Encore Presentation of ‘World’s Worst Leg Fractures’ hosted by Kevin Schmid and Michael Stanton. Please stay tuned for New Frontier Wrestling’s IMPACT! Television next at midnight, followed by ‘Emergency Room Bloopers’ with Jason Martin and Jon Morris at two o’clock.”



(FADEIN: NFW IMPACT! TV LOGO…)



RICE V/O: “In case you haven’t heard, THIS party is JUST getting started.”



(CUTTO: Crash TV – Episode 10. QUENTIN SULLIVAN standing face to face with MICHAEL MANSON, talking into a microphone.)



SULLIVAN: “BUT – seeing as how you’re physically able to walk and Sweet Dreams employees and Santa Clauses, we’ve decided you’re going to be a very ACTIVE Commissioner. Me and Craig, we really feel the first step in you becoming a great office man was setting up that TV Title Tournament. (SULLIVAN applauds MANSON whose still leering at him…) HOWEVER, we also feel that you should take on an active role in this tournament by being the NUMBER ONE SEED! (CROWD EXPLODES!)

O’CONNOR (V/0): “HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD! MANSON IS THE NUMBER ONE SEED! HE’S GONNA BE BACK IN THE RING!”



(CUTTO: DC STRATTON/MICHAEL MANSON subsequent brawl!)



O’CONNOR (V/O): “My God he just FLEW up those ropes and PLANTED Manson who is rolling to the floor as DC now looks down at him and now he runs off the opposite ropes...And a NO HANDS PLANCHA TO THE FLOOR!!! MANSON MOVES!!! MY GOD!! DC JUST FLATTENED HIMSELF ON THE FLOOR!!! Manson smiling an evil grin as he picks up the prone Stratton and throws him into the ring, Manson's got a chair! (P. King Duk and Plain Brown Rapper come out.) And we got the jobber crew trying to break this up...MANSON CHAIRS THEM BOTH DOWN! Stratton staggers to his feet as Manson stalks him with the chair...VAN-DAMNINATOR BY DC!! He kicked Manson's HEAD CLEAN OFF!! My God!! DC going to the top...(Various and sundry NFW officials and refs hit the ring. They get between Stratton and Manson and yell at DC to get off the top rope, he continues to look ready to jump) DC being kept away from Manson by this army of officials...Manson gets to his feet...And hits the top rope...Stratton loses his balance and CRASHES INTO THE RAILING CHIN FIRST!!! MY GOD!! Stratton is down on the floor in agony...Manson now being held back by the officials…and being led back to the backstage! Sullivan is standing in the ring staring at Neil Riddick in shock! He’s MAD! We don’t even know what Manson’s answer to Sullivan is!”



RICE V/O: “And if EYE know ONE thing about any party around here…”



(CUTTO: Crash TV – Episode 10. ‘COCKY’ CRAIG MILES vs. BLOODHUNT)



O’CONNOR: “He picks Miles up and places him on the top rope! Bloodhunt following up and launches a right hand into Miles' face! (CROWD EXPLODES!) OH BOY! 'HUNT MAKES A GUNSHOT MOTION TO THE CROWD! HE'S GOING FOR THE MAGIC BULLET!"

H’WOOD: “NOT ONLY THAT! HE'S GONNA DO IT THROUGH THE TABLE!"

O’CONNOR: “Bloodhunt goes to lift up Miles…WAIT! MILES IS BLOCKING IT! (Crowd gets LOUD) MILES BLOCKS THE LIFT AGAIN! Miles drives an elbow down on 'Hunt's head! 'Hunt loosens his grip and MILES SHOVES HIM OFF THE TOP ROPE! 'HUNT FLEW OVER THE TABLE!"

H’WOOD: “GODDAMIT!"

O’CONNOR: “MILES CLIMBING UP TO THE TOP ROPE! (CROWD ROARING!) Bloodhunt staggering up to his feet, MILES LEAPS OFF! (CROWD EXPLODES!) OH MY GOD!"

H’WOOD: “THE PARTY IS JUST GETTING STARTED!"

O’CONNOR: “BLOODHUNT COUNTERED AND CAUGHT MILES WITH THE HEADSHOT! I DON'T BELIEVE IT! 'HUNT COVERS! ONE! TWO! THREEEEEEEEEEEEE! (SFX: The bell ringing repeatedly!)"

SIMS: "THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH! And moving onto EN-EFF-DOUBLE YOU FUTURESHOCK'S MAIN EVENT WORLD TITLE MATCH! BLLUUUUUUUUUUDHUUUUUNNNNNNNNNT!!!!!!"



(CUTTO: HELLMACHINE vs. THE POWELLS)



O’CONNOR: “Doc Silver and Gladiator have hit the ring…TORNADO CAUGHT FROM BEHIND BY GLADIATOR! HE'S GOT THAT WIRE AROUND HIS NECK…Tornado bleeding from the neck as he's being dragged around…Doc kicking and punching at Tornado as he's fighting…Hurricane is tied up with Scott Powell…TOOMBS WITH A CHAIR!
H’WOOD: “I doubt Doc's fan base is in the crowd either!”

O’CONNOR: “The Powells are heading to the back and now they are waving for someone to come out…(CUTTO: The ten gallon hat entrepreneur walks out with a tied and gagged WINDY!) Can someone tell me who the hell this guy is!?!?”

H’WOOD: “The plot thickens!”

O’CONNOR: “Storm looking on in horror as now the Powells and this new agent of theirs have Windy…MY GOD NO! SCOTT POWELL HAS HER BY THE NECK!! NO!! NO!! A CHOKESLAM ON THE FLOOR BY SCOTT POWELL ON WINDY!!!”

H’WOOD: “I guess he's been in jail so long he's forgotten what women are used for! Unless he takes care of that with his brother…”

O’CONNOR: “Oh GOD…Would you stop?! Windy is motionless as Storm are rushing out to check on her, a disgusted Hellmachine standing in the ring glaring at the Powells…”



(CUTTO: SHANE SOUTHERN vs. RICK RYCONIK)



O’CONNOR: “ “He must think that Ryconik was gonna use the strap on him! Ryconik drops the title down to the floor and turns around…PARTY’S OVER! NO! RYCONIK DUCKED IT! HE BLASTS SHANE IN THE GUT WITH A SHOULDER! MONTY trying to get back on the apron, but DREAD HAS HIM FROM BEHIND – TORNADO DDT ON THE CEMENT! MONTY’S OUT! RYCONIK whips SOUTHERN OFF THE ROPES! POLISH HAMMER – NO! SHANE DUCKED IT! RICK TURNS AROUND – (CROWD EXPLODES!) PARTY’S OVER! PARTY’S OVER! SHANE COVERS! Herpin shaking the cobwebs out rolls over to make the count! ONE! TWO! THREEEEEEEEEE! (SFX: Bell ringing!) SOUTHERN HAS WON IT! HE’S WON IT!”

H’WOOD: “ “And who should he thank? ARMANDO MONTEZUMA – Manager Extraordinaire!”

O’CONNOR: “ “Oh shove it! Shane has rolled out of the ring and grabbed his title belt and is storming back up the aisle! Ryconik up to his feet, holding his head and what’s he doing? Asking for a microphone?”



(CUTTO: ‘The Polish Prince’ Rick Ryconik standing with microphone in hand, post-match!)



RYCONIK: “Shane, I said that TONIGHT would be th’LAST SHOT I would take At th’World Title! I said that after tonight, I would NEVER AGAIN COMPETE for th’ NFW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! And I meant what I said, Shane, because it’s th’truth.” (pause) “Because the CONTRACT has ALREADY been signed, since BEFORE I met Bloodhunt at Impact for the number one contendership! It was signed in Commissioner Manson’s office WEEKS ago, and it is IMMUTABLE, and it is DECIDED! I won’t be challenging again for the NFW World Heavyweight Championship because AT FUTURESHOCK … the POLISH PRINCE, “ROYAL” RICK RYCONIK … WILL WRESTLE …”

H’WOOD: “SAY IT! What’s he waiting for?”

RYCONIK: “ … For the LAST time in his career, EVER!” (CUTTO: closeup of Southern’s jaw dropping, CUTTO pan of the crowd as they go absolutely Apeshit at the announcement)

O’CONNOR: “Has the Polish Prince – A VETERAN of this sport –just announced his retirement live on CRASH TV?”





(CUTTO: NATRONE RICE standing in front of the NFW IMPACT! TV backdrop.)



RICE (with a wink): “It’ll be a wonder if ANYONE SURVIVES…” (QUICK FTB)





(CUEUP: ‘Higher Ground’ – Red Hot Chili Peppers!)

(FADEIN: LIVE! PAUL TSONGAS ARENA – Lowell, Massachusetts. The arena is sold out and rocking as fireworks are lighting the place up! The camera pans around all the thousands of fans holding up signs and stops at the NFW IMPACT! TV announcing booth. NATRONE RICE is looking around with a mile wide grin while wearing a black FDNY shirt, blue jeans, thin-rimmed gold glasses and a gold necklace. Next to him is CALVIN CARLTON wearing a royal blue suit, matching bowtie and a tennis racket with a matching cover!)

CARLTON (while pointing down with his racket into the crowd): “Don’t make me come down there and show you what it feels like to be hit in the mouth by a billion dollars, (BLEEP!)” (Crowd Boos! RICE gets wide-eyed as he looks over!)

RICE: “Cal – YO! You’re yellin’ at a 70 year old woman!”

CARLTON: “Yeah, well tell her that Calvin Carlton only sucks for his Momma!”

RICE: “Man, we haven’t been on the air for one minute and I’m already tired of you!”

CARLTON: “Is that right Willis? (RICE raises his eyebrow) Well, let’s get one thing straight. You ain’t nothin’ but Garfunkel to Simon, Oates to Hall or the Tenille to the damn Captain! I’m the star, baby (boos!) – that’s right! I carry this talentless, hack-driven, rotting piece of trash called IMPACT! Television to the top of the ratings charts! All those LAZY! POOR! Drunk Cloverleaves in this town (loud boos!) sit their FAT! GREASY (BLEEP!)ES on the couch ‘cause they don’t wanna miss what the GREATEST manager of ALL-TIME, the SHAQ-KOBE-MJ dynasty machine all rolled into one – CALVIN CARLTON has to say about this rathole!” (CARLTON smiles happily, amused with himself as he’s getting cussed out and booed heavily!)

RICE: “Cal, all I know is from listening to you – most people know that all you are is some snot rich kid out of Bel Air that has some serious issues about his Momma. (CARLTON’s jaw drops) Now, shut the hell up before I punch you in the mouth.” (crowd cheers! CARTLON sneers!)

CARLTON: “Y’know, Riddick IS right about you. We were playing cards in the back earlier and he told me to watch out for you. Yeah, that’s right! He told me YOU (pokes RICE in the chest with his racket!) would try and steal this show from me. It’s a good thing I’m so DAMN GOOD at what I do or I’d be worried for maybe 3 seconds that a public school educated moron like yourself could even come close to my intellect, charisma and showmanship. But don’t you worry Rice Paddy – I got MY EYE on you.”

RICE: “Man, you’re just twisted. I seriously think you’ve gone off the deep end, Cal. But right now…I don’t care. ‘Cause all I know is that the doors opened a little over two hours ago, this WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP (cheers!) tournament has STARTED (cheers!) and these fans have been given some treat so far!”

CARLTON: “Treat? TREAT?!?! You call this a treat? I’ll TELL you what THIS is! BORRRRRRRRING! (boos!) Only in a town like BOSTON could you find such mind numbing, droll (BLEEP!) that people would actually PAY to see! (BOOS!) No wonder you’re all poor and I’m rich – you wouldn’t know culture if it was up your (BLEEP!) HA!” (boos!)

RICE: “Man, I think a lot of people disagree about that one, Cal! 16 men, ONE NIGHT, WINNER TAKE ALL! (cheers!) It doesn’t get better than that ANYWHERE! And it’s all taking place in one of the greatest sports cities of ALLLLLLLL TIME! (CHEERS!) Now NOT only do we have a tournament that is certainly gonna be FIVE STARS! (CARLTON leers at RICE) Oh sorry – not over that loss, huh? But in ‘da house tonight, we don’t have ONE tag team…we don’t have TWO…we don’t even have THREE! That’s right SIX TEAMS, including (points at CARLTON) your ORIGINAL Showstoppers in the house tonight! It’s the SS, OSS, STORM, POWELLS, DOC, GLAD and none other than THEEEEEE WORLD CHAMPIONS, HELLMACHINE in ‘da house to find out what the hell ‘ol Crazy Craig and Quent got in store for them at Futureshock!”

CARLTON: “Listen Paddycakes, it don’t matter what Dante’s Inferno they throw the OSS into, ‘cause one thing you don’t wanna miss at Futureshock is when The OSS become the WORRRRRRLD Champions, take the gold home where it belongs…THE SOUTH! (boos!)”

RICE: “And then, in what the media, the Internet smarts, the glorious marks and all of the wrestling business has waited for a long time! The LONE Gunman – BLOODHUNT! (LOUD boos!) NFW WORRRRRRRLD CHAMPION – SHANE SOUTHERRRRRRRRN! (LOUD CHEERS!) are FINALLY set to square off at NFW FUTURESHOCK in the MAIIIIIIN EVENT, BABY! (The fans start chanting “NFW! NFW!”) ‘Cause TONIGHT…LIVE ON IMPACT! TV! They’re gonna sign their names on the dotted line and I hear none other than ‘COCKY’ CRAIG MILES – ½ Owner of NEW FRONTIER will announce the special stipulation for the match!”

CARLTON: “WHAT?! That’s not fair! You know he’s still sore at ‘Hunt for being put on his head and down for the 3 count, last Crash!”

RICE: “I don’t know if Miles wants more revenge for the loss, or if he’s got something that may tear the roof off this place!”

CARLTON: “Well, ‘Manager Extraordinaire’ ARMANDO MONTEZUMA and the Anti-Terrorist Coalition will see fit that THEIR man, Bloodhunt will NOT be mistreated! If I weren’t in NFW, or if I needed to pass off a hot prospect to another man – ‘Cuba’s National Treasure’ is the only other man besides myself with keen intellect, superior genius and a great strategorical mind!”

RICE: “Strategorical? Were you watching the same CRASH, I was? The man’s a buffoon! And he certainly hasn’t been helping Bloodhunt!”

CARLTON: “He’s playing possum you moron! Intellectual possum is something a middle class man like yourself that stimulates his mind with a large quantity of Lays Potato Chips and bowling WOULD NOT GET!”

RICE: “Yo – you’re off the hook. NOT in a good way! Well, whaddya say Cal – let’s catch some of our viewers up on some earlier action tonight!”

CARLTON: “You mean a run down of the Dimwitted and Talentless?”

RICE: “If you’re referring to #4 Seed SHAWN MATTHEWS (CUTTO: MATTHEWS and his ‘monster’ associate that attacked WILD (5) STAR last week walking down the aisle! MATTHEWS flipping the bird at the camera! CARLTON laughs!) or #13 seed DEREK PETERSON (CUTTO: PETERSON walking down the aisle, stopping to advise a heavier set man about his weight condition, then pats him on the back and walks away) then I don’t think you’ve been tracking the roster lately!

CARLTON: “Listen, Rice – all this so-called (CARLTON quotes the air) talent would have been chicken feed after getting in the ring with the caliber of Frankie Fargo and Brandon Mueller! I like Matthews, he’s my kind of guy – but if you ain’t the OSS, you ain’t (BLEEP!)”

RICE: “Jesus, Cal. Both men have had tendencies to break the rules, so the fans weren’t cheering for much else, but the match itself! Peterson took the early advantage in quick-paced match with a series of armdrags, a snap mare and a clothesline that nearly beheaded Matthews! (CUTTO: PETERSON coming off the top rope with an elbow drop and going for the cover!) Peterson got a near-fall before Matthews turned the tables with the aid of his partner!” (CUTTO: MATTHEWS distracting the ref, PETERSON getting dragged under the ropes, outside the ring and then thrown shoulderfirst into the ringpost!)

CARLTON: “Hey they stole that double team move from MY OSS! That’s downright illegal! What’s next, are they gonna freakin’ Strut?”

RICE: “That shot right there affected Peterson for the rest of the match as Matthews hit an Armbreaker DDT and locked on a Fuji Armbar! Peterson valiantly fought back to get out of the hold and nail a Reverse DDT!”

CARLTON: “Yeah, but this new-age advice guy got too caught up in the heat of the moment and did something really stupid – I think he stole it out of McKinley’s book!”

RICE: “I don’t know about that, Cal. Peterson hit another monster clothesline, but with his bad arm! Matthews hooked an inside cradle as Peterson was hunched over holding his arm and got the three count!” (CUTTO: Referee Nile Simmons holding up MATTHEWS’ hand in victory!)

CARLTON: "And the snoozes just keep on coming. Folks, really, you're much better off that we're just showing clips of these first round matches. In fact, I say clip the whole tournament and show OSS matches to fill our TV time!"

RICE: "Cut it out, Calvin! Some of the brightest young stars in this business are competing in this tournament, and the next first round match was a perfect illustration of that point, as #12 seed Chris Johnson (CUTTO: JOHNSON stepping through the ropes) faced off against the always dangerous #5 seed TEMPESTA DEL FUERTE!" (CUTTO: A focused TEMPESTA walking down the aisle, staring a hole through JOHNSON!)

CARLTON: "Please, Tempesta's about as dangerous as a cloudy day! He may have some of that weird MMA stuff down, but he'd get his ass kicked by my boys in a WRESTLING match!"

RICE: "Well, I might beg to differ with that, because Tempesta was the TRUTH tonight! (CUTTO: TEMPESTA rocking JOHNSON with a belly to belly suplex!) Johnson brought his A-game with him, but he couldn't even make a dent in Tempesta's armor!"

CARLTON: "Yeah, yeah, big deal. Let's see him do a Showstopper Strut, ORIGINAL style!"

RICE: "Tempesta didn't do much strutting, but there was a whole lot of chopping going on! (CUTTO: TEMPESTA and JOHNSON trading chops, both men's chests turning beet red!) Johnson finally turned things up a notch, and seemed to have Tempesta right where he wanted him! (CUTTO: JOHNSON on the second rope, punching TEMPESTA in the corner)

CARLTON: "Yeah, but looks were deceiving, weren't they?" (TEMPESTA walks JOHNSON out of the corner and delivers a nasty inverted atomic drop, followed by a lightning fast drop toe hold that had Johnson kissing the second turnbuckle hard!)

RICE: "Then, Tempesta let the educated feet go to work! (CUTTO: TEMPESTA rocking JOHNSON with a series of kicks to the face and ribs) Johnson made one more rally (CUTTO: JOHNSON stunning TEMPESTA with a series of right hands!), but couldn't sustain it!" (CUTTO: TEMPESTA blocking a JOHNSON punch and turning it into a judo throw, and then catching JOHNSON with a nasty elbow to the throat!)

CARLTON: "Now THAT was vicious!" (CUTTO: JOHNSON turning purple, gasping for air!)

RICE: "And then, it was time for the coup de gras! (CUTTO: TEMPESTA winding up, as JOHNSON gets to his knees, and SFX: WHACK! as TEMPESTA kicks him right upside the head!) It was all over but the shouting (CUTTO: TEMPESTA grapevining the leg as the referee counts the pinfall), and Tempesta del Fuerte advanced to the quarterfinals!"

CARLTON: "Yeah, but this was my favorite part of the match right here!" (CUTTO: TEMPESTA refusing to let the referee raise his hand, and pulling JOHNSON to his feet and hurling him over the top rope, and THEN demanding the referee raise his hand.)

RICE: "Tempesta obviously didn't want the referee raising his hand while Chris Johnson was still in the ring. Tempesta del Fuerte definitely brings ATTITUDE with him into the next round..."

CARLTON: "Dood, attitude was like five catchphrases ago. You could have said that Tempesta told Johnson to Get the F out..."

RICE: "I think the new buzzword is Ruthless Aggression..."

CARLTON: "Yeah, but that might change by the time this actually hits the airwaves. Damn post-production..."

RICE: "On that note, let's move on to the next first round matchup with a man who many feel is the odds-on favorite to win the TV title tournament, #2 seed Mister Dread (CUTTO: DREAD climbing into the ring) doing battle with the mysterious newcomer #15 seed Raze! (CUTTO: RAZE walking down the aisle.)

CARLTON: "The only reason Dread's the odds-on favorite to win this thing is because neither of the Original Showstoppers are in this tournament!"

RICE: "Dread got off to a hot start, confusing Raze with his quickness! (CUTTO: DREAD keeping RAZE off-balance with a series of armdrags) But he ended up going to the well one too many times! (CUTTO: RAZE blocking an armdrag attempt and nailing DREAD with a short-arm clothesline!)

CARLTON: "After that, Minute Rice, this one was all Raze! He beat on Mister Dread like a red-headed stepchild!" (CUTTO: RAZE choking DREAD out across the second rope)

RICE: "However, Raze soon got frustrated with his inability to put Mr. Dread away, and his lack of patience cost him! (CUTTO: RAZE charging into the corner, but DREAD getting out of the way and RAZE hitting the corner hard shoulder-first, and DREAD capitalizing with an armbreaker DDT)

CARLTON: "That just shows why Raze needs a manager, but I wouldn't soil my hands on the likes of him. I think Buff Manley's collecting welfare checks right now, though!"

RICE: "Give me a break! Dread surgically attacked the injured arm of Raze (CUTTO: DREAD delivering a hammerlock slam, followed by a lightning quick elbow drop to RAZE's shoulder!), but then elected to increase the stakes!" (CUTTO: DREAD climbing to the top rope, but RAZE recovering and throwing himself into the ropes, causing DREAD to crotch himself!)

CARLTON: "That's why they call it high risk, Rice...because it's STUPID!"

RICE: "Raze tried to capitalize on Dread's mistake (CUTTO: RAZE delivering a superplex!), but his arm was too sore to hook the leg properly! (CUTTO: DREAD kicking out, and RAZE trying to shake his arm loose!) Then, it was Raze's turn to make a mistake! (CUTTO: RAZE catching DREAD with a running clothesline, and then falling to the canvas clutching his arm!)

CARLTON: "Case in point! What kind of an idiot goes for a clothesline when his arm is hurt? Fargo or Mueller would NEVER make that mistake!"

RICE: "Dread sensed his opportunity (CUTTO: DREAD nipping up!), and went in for the kill! (CUTTO: RAZE on his knees clutching his arm, and eating a running dropkick to the face! DREAD then catches the dazed RAZE in a La Magistral cradle to score the 1-2-3!) Mister Dread dodged a bullet in the first round, and moves on to the quarterfinals!"

CARLTON: "Raze looked good in his debut, Rice-a-roni, but in the end, he couldn't get it done! Mister Dread's gonna have to step it up, though, if he thinks he can break the glass ceiling and be a main event player like Armando Montezuma, or the Original Showstoppers!"

RICE: "That remains to be seen, Calvin, but he is one step closer to the Television title! We’re gonna take a quick break folks, when we come back we’re gonna see #7 seed ADRENALINE against #10 seed RAUL, LIVE! And of course, a few more recaps before we finish this first round up!"



(COMMERCIAL)



(FADEIN: The back hallways of Paul Tsongas Arena. CRAIG MILES is walking along with the notorious Jimmy the Intern. MILES is smoking his standard Newport while struttin’ down the halls, waving at workers and grinnin’ for the female PA’s. Jimmy is trying his best to walk at MILES’ pace…)



MILES: “What’s the feeling in the back, Jimmy? How are the boys doin’?” (MILES nods to some men in suits)

JIMMY: “Lotta tension back there, I’ll say Mr. Miles. You got about twenty five guys showin’ up here ready for war!”

MILES: “That’s how I like it, Jimmy…that’s how I like it.”



(MILES and Jimmy turn a corner where its pitch black in the hallway, except one hanging light over a blood red door.)



MILES: “Now, Jimmy – I haven’t just walked around back in a little bit, but if I’m not mistaken that door was NOT there when I left town for a little bit, right?”

JIMMY: “Yes, sir – that was an office designed by Commissioner Manson. Fully customized and ordered for.” (MILES looks at Jimmy with a grin)

MILES: “What’s the latest on Manson, Jimmy?”

JIMMY: “Well, just ten minutes ago I saw Mr. Sullivan screaming on the phone about he hasn’t arrived or SOMETHING like that…” (MILES’ grin gets bigger and he dumps his cigarette to the floor)

MILES: “C’mon Jimmy, lets have a little fun.”



(MILES tip-toes down the hall, grabs the doorknob and turns it – the door OPENS. MILES nods approvingly, then makes a hand motion for Jimmy to follow him. Jimmy looks to the left and right before running over to the door and sneaking in. They close the door. CUTTO: Inside Commissioner Manson’s office – a light comes on as MILES and Jimmy walk into the center. Mostly everything has been taken down off the walls, as well as most of the furniture moved out. The only things remaining are the no smoking sign over the fireplace, a black chair, and a black marble desk with a Pez Dispenser lying vertically on it and remote control next to it. MILES pulls out a cigarette…)



JIMMY: “No smoking, boss.” (points to the No Smoking sign, MILES nods and notices the Pez dispenser. MILES picks it up and pops a Pez into his mouth)

MILES: “Hey not bad. I like these. (pops another Pez) Hell, I don’t even need a smoke. (MILES puts the dispenser into one of his pockets) Alright, Jimmy – time to go. I gotta funny feeling we’re being watched or somethin’. Let’s roll.” (MILES heads for the door…)

JIMMY: “Don’t forget to put the Pez back.” (MILES stops, turns around with a smile)

MILES: “Jimmy, if he really wanted it – do you think he would’ve left it behind?” (MILES exits as Jimmy shakes his head…the camera quickly cuts to a top corner of the room where a security camera’s red light is blinking and following the duo.)



(CUTTO: Paul Tsongas Arena Parking Lot - The Powell's Jeep Grand Cherokee, sitting in a parking spot with the motor running. Both Powells are sitting in it...)



RICE (V/O): “We’re back and currently our cameras are focused on the Powell Brothers Jeep Cherokee, which has been occupied and running for the whole night so far! They appear to be waiting for something! What that is, we don't know!”

CARLTON (V/O): “YO! MORONS! The show is INSIDE the building!”

RICE (V/O): “I think they realize that Calvin! They're obviously waiting for someone! Wait! We’re getting ‘Just’ Mark on the scene right now!”

CARLTON (V/O): “’On the scene’? What are you doing? Anchoring the evening news?”

(‘JUST’ MARK runs up to the Jeep, quite apprehensive about the previous encounter he had with the Powells, but with a look of ease as if he is protected by something, he runs to the driver's side where Roger sits.)

MARK: Powell Brothers...why are you waiting out here? Are you waiting for someone?

ROGER: (Holds up a fist) See that?

MARK: You can't intimidate me now, I have hazard pay for each time that I interview you.

(Roger cocks back his arm like he's going to throw a punch, Mark QUICKLY backs off)



(CUTTO: Back to the arena – ADRENALINE’s theme music, just cut off – he’s in the ring bouncing off the ropes! CUTTO: RICE and CARLTON at the announcer's table)



RICE: “Well it's obvious that the Powell Brothers are waiting for someone, but who it is? We'll just have to wait and see!”

CARLTON: “I know you're a horrible announcer and all, but do you have to practice for a new job HERE?!”

RICE: “Don’t start. Let’s cut to a match we can catch live here as Adrenaline has come to the ring first, and he looks extremely focused on business and wants that TV title!"

CARLTON: "Well, like my Mama always says, you can want in one hand and crap in the other, and see which one gets filled faster."

(CUEUP: Cuban National Anthem as RAUL emerges from the curtain, wearing his Team Cuba warm-up, with the top unzipped to reveal his hairy chest and gold chains.)

RICE: "Fans, perhaps the SLEAZIEST member of Team Cuba making his way to the ring, and look at this...Raul wasting no time, taking a full sprint to the ring! (SFX: Bell!) Referee Greg Herpin calls for the opening bell, as Raul slides in under the bottom rope, and charges at Adrenaline...OOOF! Adrenaline caught Raul and just PLANTED him into the canvas with a SPINEBUSTER!"

CARLTON: "Did you hear his head bounce off the canvas, Rice-a-roni?"

RICE: "Adrenaline with the lateral press, grapevines the leg, and Herpin counts the ONE! TWO! THREE! HE GOT HIM! Just like that, Adrenaline will advance to the second round of the TV title tournament, making quick work of Raul!"

CARLTON: "That wasn't fair, I don't think Raul was ready for the match to start!"

RICE: "He tried to attack Adrenaline before the bell!"

CARLTON: "Exactly, and the referee screwed it up by ringing the bell too early!"

RICE: "Raul up complaining to the official, as Adrenaline begins to make his way to the locker room. Wait a minute, folks, Raul's got the mic."

RAUL: "OYE, Cheap Mang...yeah, chico...I'm talkin' to you."

RICE: "Adrenaline stops in his tracks, and he's staring daggers at Raul in the ring!"

RAUL: "Hombre...you really gonna walk outta here winning like that, chico...you too scared to face 'da STUD MANG face to face... MANO Y MANO, chico...I dare you, hombre...no...EYE DOUBLE DARE YOU, YO...bring yo' ass back to 'da ring, chico...and Raul...is gonna CARVE...YOU...UP!"

RICE: "Raul's thrown a punk card down for Adrenaline, and it looks like he's gonna pick it up! He's coming back to the ring!"

CARLTON: "What an IDIOT! This isn't two out of three falls! You don't give a man like Raul a second chance!"

(SFX: Bell!)

RICE: "Adrenaline climbs back into the ring, and Raul attacks him coming through the ropes! Yeah, that's fair play! Raul whips Adrenaline off the ropes, and he catches him..."

CARLTON: "FLYING JALAPENO!"

RICE: "Raul barely connected with that flying forearm, and he's doing some celebrating, but Adrenaline's right back to his feet! He grabs Raul from behind...POPS THE HIPS...GERMAN SUPLEX! NO BRIDGE, ALL IMPACT! He folded Raul up like an accordian, and hooks the legs! ONE! TWO! THREE!"

CARLTON: "Well, that didn't go well..."

RICE: "Adrenaline gets the win...AGAIN...and he's moving on to the second round in this tournament. He tore through Raul like a hot knife through butter!"

CARLTON: "Or, more appropriately, he tore through Raul the same way Mexican food tears through my stomach...Mama doesn't let me eat that stuff."

RICE: "Raul's Cuban, not Mexican, Calvin..."

CARLTON: "There's a difference?"

RICE: "Wait a second, fans, Raul is back to his feet, and complaining to the referee again, and he's got the mic again. What's up with this guy?"

RAUL: "OYE, CHEAP MANG! (ADRENALINE stops in his tracks in the aisle and again turns to stare at RAUL.) Yeah, chico...I'm talkin' to you...what's 'da matter, hombre...YOU GOTTA DO IT TO ME FROM BEHIND AGAIN, CHICO? YOU AIN'T GOT NO COJONES... NO GUTS, CHICO...unless you come back to this ring and go MANO Y MANO CON 'DA STUD MANG!"

RICE: "Fans, Raul has clearly lost his mind, and this time Adrenaline's doing the smart thing...he's blowing Raul off and going to rest up for the second round..."

RAUL: "That's what I thought...YOU A [BLEEEEP], CHICO! YOU SCARED OF 'DA STUD MANG...and TU MADRE ES UNA PUTA, CHICO! That's right, hombre...YO MAMA'S A [BLEEEEEEP]!"

CARLTON: "I think THAT got his attention, Rice-a-Roni! If there's one thing you don't do, it's talk about another man's mother!"

RICE: "Adrenaline is FURIOUS, and he storms back to the ring, and tells the referee to call for the bell! It's showtime once again!"

CARLTON: "BEST THREE OUT OF FIVE!"

RICE: "Raul catches Adrenaline with a hard right hand! Another hard right! WHOA! ADRENALINE FIRES BACK with a roundhouse that dropped Raul right to the canvas! Raul up to his knees, and he's begging off! Adrenaline's gonna show him mercy..."

CARLTON: "NOT! What a cheap shot artist this guy is!"

RICE: "Adrenaline kicked Raul RIGHT between the eyes! He scoops Raul up and whips him off the ropes...TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER! Now he points to the crowd, as he scoops Raul up...POWER BOMB! TURN OUT THE LIGHTS! Adrenaline covers Raul with one foot! ONE! TWO! THREE!"

CARLTON: "Fans, the word of the day is SQUASH..."

RICE: "Adrenaline's hanging out in the corner this time, and he looks like he's BEGGING Raul to say something else to him! Raul staggers back to his feet, and this time...oh COME ON! Raul is screaming at referee Greg Herpin! He's blaming HIM for this embarrassing defeat!"

CARLTON: "Well, I think there was a fast count..."

RICE: "When he got pinned which TIME? Raul complaining about the fast count, and now he SHOVES referee Herpin! That's gonna be a fine!"

CARLTON: "Looks like Castro's gonna have to raise taxes in Cuba!"

RICE: "Herpin looks to the crowd...OH MY GOD! HERPIN JUST NAILED RAUL WITH A RIGHT FOREARM, AND RAUL WENT DOWN LIKE A TON OF BRICKS! GREG HERPIN STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF! Adrenaline just pointed to the mat, and HERPIN COVERS RAUL, AND ADRENALINE DROPS DOWN AND COUNTS! (Crowd counts along) ONE! TWO! THREE!"

CARLTON: "Now HERPIN with the cheap shot! Poor Raul just can't catch a break!"

RICE: "Fans, Adrenaline has EMPHATICALLY advanced into the second round here on IMPACT, and referee Greg Herpin supplied the exclamation point!"



(CUTTO: Backstage – Paul Tsongas Arena. PRESIDENT QUENTIN SULLIVAN is pacing back and forth irate! FIONA LOVE – famous NFW Production Assistant and Calendar girl runs into the picture! She’s wearing an NFW black and green jumpsuit – available at the NFW BRAWL!)



LOVE (breathing): “Mr. Sullivan! Mr. Sullivan” (SULLIVAN snaps out of his pacing, looking concerned for Fiona.)

SULLIVAN: “Fiona, what’s wrong? Anything happen?”

LOVE: “No, No – well, not exactly.”

SULLIVAN: “What are you talking about?”

LOVE: “Well, we got a phone call from Michael Manson just two minutes ago.”

SULLIVAN: “MANSON! WHERE IS HE!?!??”

LOVE: “He said he’d be calling your cell phone in just a couple of moments…”

(SFX: Cell Phone Ring – Star Wars theme! SULLIVAN grabs it out of his pocket and flips it open.)

SULLIVAN: “Sullivan, here. (listens) No need for hello’s Mike, where the hell are you!? I was hoping you’d be a team player about all of this. (listens) What the hell is that supposed to mean? Michael Manson will be arriving? Why did you reference yourself in the third person? (listens) Hello? Hello? (SULLIVAN flips his phone closed with a grimace, he turns to LOVE with a grim look) Fiona, I’ve got a funny feeling about all of this…I think we have a potential problem.”



(COMMERICIAL)



(FADEIN: Paul Tsongas Arena – CALVANO B. RUBINO, dressed up in a hockey jersey, track pants and Air Jordans is running around the ring swinging a lacrosse stick. Behind him is the mammoth TACO the CHILEAN GIANT who is enjoying a sandwich. CUTTO: NATRONE RICE and CALVIN CARLTON sitting behind the table.)



RICE: “Well, Cal – we’re seconds away from Michael Manson…”

(A crew technician runs into the picture and hands RICE an envelope and runs out!)

RICE: “Now what the hell is this?” (RICE opens the letter)

CARLTON: “Hopefully your severance letter…”

RICE: “No, it’s a Commssionary decree for you AND I to refer to Vanni Ru’s opponent by the name Michael Manson, no matter what! Not only that its signed by Manson, himself!”

CARLTON: “He’s had one Pez too many…”



(CUEUP: ‘Mechanical Animals’ by Marilyn Manson. CUTTO: FRONTIERtron – A montage of ‘Sweet Dreams’ hits delivered by Michael Manson! All of a sudden fireworks go off and TRIPLE 6 walks out from the curtain wearing a silk black shirt, silk black pants, a silk cape and black boots! On the front of his shirt reads ‘MANSON’ and on the back of his cape reads ‘SWEET DREAMS’. Cheers turn to boos, as TRIPLE 6 aka ‘MICHAEL MANSON’ is walking out alone and the real commissioner is nowhere to be found!)



RICE: “I don’t know what to say folks, apparently our #1 seed COMMISSIONER MICHAEL MANSON has replaced himself with one of his cohorts, but has ruled that this man actually go by his name!”

CARLTON: “If someone is smart, they’ll be checking the ingredients of Pez before Miles gets addicted! It’s GOTTA be los drogas!”

RICE: “Trip—err…’Michael Manson’ is making his way down to ringside! He’s screaming something out loud – something about setting himself on fire for the match, but Referee Nile Simmons is just trying to get ‘Manson’ into the ring. Let’s go to Lee-Baby Sims for the intros.”



(CUTTO: LEE-BABY SIMS in purple sequin tux, standing front and center of the ring.)



SIMS: “This is a one fall, fifteen minute first round match for the right to become ENN-EFF DOUBLE YOU TELEVISION CHAMPIIIIIIIIION OF THE WORRRRRRRRLD! Introducing first, the number sixteen seed of the tournament. He’s accompanied by Taco the Chilean Giant and weighs in at (rolls his eyes) One hundred Forty Pounds (CLOSEUP: Ru flexing like Hans and Franz of SNL fame), the ROBIN HOOD of the undercard – VVVVVANNNNNNI RUUUUUUU! And his opponent, making his FIRST wrestling bout in NFW since the INAUGURAL IMPACT TV! Weighing 234 pounds and COMMISSIONER of New Frontier Wrestling – MMMMMMIIIIIIIICHAEL MANNNNNNNNNNNSON!” (CUTTO: TRIPLE 6 trying to use a lighter on himself.)



RICE: “Folks, I’m gonna beat Cal to the punch here. If there EVER was a time to break the seal or grab some nachos, you ain’t gonna be missin’ much if this is the match we’re about to watch.”

CARLTON: “Has Manson put on weight? He looks different than usual.”

RICE: “Cut the (BLEEP!), Cal. Ru charges in at ‘Manson’ and comes at him with some rapid fire lefts and rights! ‘Manson’ just shrugs at him and grabs him by the throat! (cheers!) CHOKESLAM! RU dancing like a dead fish! This could get ugly fast! Despite Lee-Baby saying he weighs 234, he could be off by around 100 – giving him a 200 pound advantage! Tr—‘MANSON’ picks up Ru by the hair and scoops him onto his shoulder! He backs up…look ouuuuuuuut – RUNNING POWERSLAM! He hooks the leg, ONE! TWO! RU gets a shoulder up!”



(CUTTO: QUENTIN SULLIVAN backstage – pacing back and forth, while watching the match on the monitor w/ FIONA LOVE standing next to him.)



SULLIVAN: “This is ridiculous. He might try and make some Commissioner decisions and the guy is a whackjob! I gotta put an end to this.”



(CUTTO: Back to the match!)



CARLTON: “The little runt has some grit!”

RICE: “Who the HELL are YOU calling a RUNT!?!?”

CARLTON: “Oh c’mon, I’m bigger than him!”

RICE: “You wish! ‘Manson’ gets up and rips up Ru to his feet and whips him off the ropes – big clothesline! Tr—dammit! ‘MANSON’ off the ropes and drops a big leg across the throat! (CUTTO: QUENTIN SULLIVAN walking down the aisle to a mixed reaction!) Looks like the PRESIDENT wants to get a first-hand look at the action! ‘Manson’ lifting up Ru and tosses him out of the ring! ‘Manson’ rolls out of the ring and follows up on Ru with some big boots! Now wait just a minute, President Sullivan has stepped IN BETWEEN ‘Manson’ from the prone Ru! I think he’s demanding to know where the REAL Michael Manson is!”

CARLTON: “Wait – that’s NOT the real Manson? I thought he was just on some sorta Twinkie Diet – he did have a little more color in his skin!”

RICE: “’Manson’ pointing to his cape saying he’s the real deal! Sullivan RIPS off the cape and OH! ‘MANSON’ DECKS SULLIVAN! (CUTTO: RU crawling over to TACO – he starts yelling at him!) ‘MANSON’ now shouting at Sully – LOOOOOOOK OUT! TACO JUST LEVELED ‘MANSON’ from behind with a CLOTHESLINE! That sent him flying into the barricade! Taco throws ‘Manson’ into the ring and look at Ru – he’s been distracting the ref the WHOLE time! Now he stops and starts dancing around the ring like he’s won the lottery! (CUTTO: NEIL RIDDICK and DC STRATTON running down the aisle to a chorus of boos!) AND NOW WE HAVE TROUBLE! IT’S RIDDICK AND STRATTON! SULLIVAN SEES THEM AND IS TRYING TO GET AWAY! STRATTON tackles him! Back in the ring, RU is on the top rope! RUBINO FROG SPLASH! ALL 150 OF HIM! He covers! ONE! TWO! NO! ‘MANSON’ kicks out!”

CARLTON: “I think we’re about to have an assassination on our President, tho!”

RICE: “Stratton holding down Sullivan for Riddick to hit with a CHAIR! Wait a minute! JJ BOULEVARD – chief of security tackles Riddick! Where did he come from? In the ring, RU has hooked in a spinning toe hold on ‘Manson’! Hold on Stratton has another chair and tosses it at JJ (SFX: METAL!) – STRATTONATOR! Boulevard is out! Riddick yelling at Stratton to take out Sullivan! Stratton nails Sullivan with a kick to the gut! He needs help!”

CARLTON: “What the hell is going on behind us? Is that Batman?”

(CUTTO: A cable drops from a skybox – a spotlight shines over there and the REAL MICHAEL MANSON sticks his head out, looks around and gets a HUGE POP! Manson, jumps on the rope and slides down onto a back walkway on the arena floor! He charges up an aisle, hops over the barricade past some cameras and charges towards the ring!)

RICE: “IT’S MANSON! IT’S MANSON! And he’s got some security following him! Stratton and Riddick head for the hills! Manson stares at them, and now looks down at Sullivan who’s IN SHOCK! Back to the ring! ‘Manson’ has just gotten to the ropes to break the hold! Ru off the ropes – BRONCO BUSTER! THAT KNOCKED ‘MANSON’ OUT OF THE RING! AND NOW RU BUSTIN’ A MOVE ON THE ROPES!”

CARLTON: “Man, I hope that gets wiped down afterwards.”

RICE: “’MANSON’ fell down right by Taco, who’s concentrating on an ice cream cone right now! Now just hold on, the real Manson sneaking over and he just rolled ‘MANSON’ under the ring and I don’t think Taco saw it! Ru still gettin’ bronco busy on the other side of the ring now! MANSON now falls to the cement and I think he’s playing dead! Ru gets up and he shouts at Taco to get him Manson! I don’t think either know that the jig is up! Taco picks up Manson and tosses him in the ring! Ru brings Manson up to his feet and Manson is SMILING A MILE WIDE! RU IS BUG-EYED, THAT’S NOT THE SAME GUY AND HE KNOWS IT! BOOT TO THE GUT! SWEEEEEET DREAMS! SWEEEEEET DREAMS! MANSON COVERS! ONE! TWO! THREEEEEE! (SFX: Bell ringing!) MANSON quickly slides out of the ring – TRIPLE 666 shruggin at him…(CROWD EXPLODES!) MANSON WITH A BOOT TO THE GUT! LOOOOOOOOK OUUUUUUUUUUUUT! (SFX: TABLE BREAKING!) MANSON JUST POWERBOMBED HIM THROUGH THE SPANISH TELECAST TABLE! (Crowd standing on its feet – mixed reaction! CUTTO: DC STRATTON running back down to the ring area with a chair in his hand! He rolls into the ring!) WAIT! HERE COMES STRATTON! NOOOOOOOOOOO! (SFX: CHAIRSHOT!) STRATTON JUST PLASTERED MANSON IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD! MANSON DIDN’T SEE IT COMING!”

CARLTON: “Stratton isn’t understanding the concept of kissing the bosses’ (bleep!) is he?”

(CUTTO: QUENTIN SULLIVAN ordering a security team to storm the area! STRATTON slingshots over the barricade and high-tails it! SULLIVAN rolls into the ring, surrounded by security – they all check on MANSON, rolling around holding his head....)

RICE: “Fans, it’s just getting HOTTER and more crazy as the minutes go by! Don’t touch that dial!”

(COMMERCIAL)



(FADEIN: Paul Tsongas Arena Infirmary – MICHAEL MANSON is sitting in a chair with an icepack on his head. RAYNE – Manson’s PA is standing beside him taking notes on her Palm Pilot. QUENTIN SULLIVAN comes walking in…)



SULLIVAN: “You alright, Mike? That’s a nasty shot you took.”

MANSON: “I’ll be fine.”

SULLIVAN: “Well, it’s good to have you back…and thanks for helping me out there. I owe you one.”

MANSON: “I didn’t come back for you…I came back for the Pez.”



(CUTTO: Paul Tsongas Arena parking lot - ROGER and SCOTT POWELL are sitting in their green Jeep Cherokee…)



WALKIE TALKIE (V/O w/ Texan Accent): “Ok boys, here comes the Sparrow.”



(The POWELLS jump out of their Jeep, Roger opens the back hatch window and pulls out an aluminum baseball bat. He pats it gently across his palm as Scott closes the back hatch. The Powells stealthily move to a spot off camera. Scott waves at that point, then notices the camera trying to follow them and frantically makes a hand gesture as if to say Don’t F’n Move. Behind them, a Caprice Classic rental pulls up and stops in a parking spot by the entrance door. NFW referee SCOTT SPERANZA gets out. S. POWELL jumps out and immediately blocks the path of the referee that called their match at last week’s IMPACT against HELLMACHINE.)



SPERANZA: “Uh - Hi guys (looks at both Powells nervously) what's up?”

SCOTT: “How much did Sully pay you for last week?”

SPERANZA (taken back and confused): “For w-w-what?”

SCOTT: “For throwing OUR TITLE match out the window?!”

SPERANZA: “Listen, I was just doing my job...I did what I was supposed to do in that situation...”

ROGER: “YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A MAN AND LET THE MATCH GO ON! YOU DIDN'T

HAVE TO TAKE THE (BLEEEEEEEEP!) WAY AND END IT AS SOON AS SOMEONE RAN IN! (ROGER grabs SPERANZA by the collar and throws him up against his rental) NOW WHO MUCH DID YOU GET PAID FOR THAT?!”

SPERANZA (nearly pissing himself, now): “I DIDN'T! I SWEAR!”

SCOTT: “Wrong answer!”

(Scott blasts Speranza with a hard kick to the midsection sending the Referee down immediately! Both Powells start stomping viciously on Speranza! Roger rips up Speranza and rams his head into the hood of the car! Roger tosses Speranza onto the engine hood, meanwhile Scott is now standing on top of the roof! Scott flies off with a legdrop crushing Speranza and the hood! Roger pulls a limp and bloodied Speranza up to the roof of the car, meanwhile Scott has grabbed the bat and started destroying the windshield. Roger then slips his feet in two of the holes in the windshield and stands on the dashboard, grabs a prone Speranza and applies a camel clutch, using the fact that Speranza is basically hanging now, as added leverage. Scott sees this, climbs up to the feet of Speranza and applies a double ankle-lock, therefore completing the STP – Submission Through Powells! All of a sudden security and some officials come running through the entrance door, Scott and Roger still applying that hold! A wave of officials close in and are trying to call the Powells off. The Powells let go of the hold, but Roger picks Speranza up like he is going to do a Belly-to-Back Suplex. Instead, Roger just throws the limp referee off the car and onto the group of officials and security knocking them over. Some are calling for EMT's as the others try to yell at the Powells who just ignore them, Roger grabs the bat, Scott goes to get the Cherokee. Scott screeches up and Roger hops in the passenger seat! Scott’s window rolls down as he looks menacingly at the EMT’s, officials and security tending Speranza…)

SCOTT POWELL: “This ain’t over, yet. We’ll see you ALL later.”

(The green Jeep Cherokee screeches away out of the scene! CUTTO: NATRONE RICE and CALVIN CARLTON sitting at the announcing booth.)







RICE: "THAT has to be the most disgusting attack I’ve seen since I’ve come here! Scott Speranza isn’t a professional wrestler – hell I think he weighs less than you Cal! (CARLTON looks at RICE funny) He had no way of defending himself, and I’m sure he’s not in the back pocket of ANYONE in this organization! I’ve known Scott Speranza for a decade now, he’s a family man with good morals! Those Powell Brothers ain’t nothin’ but paranoid monsters that are now SERIOUSLY hurting people!”

CARLTON: “Well, I wish I thought of that tactic before. You think any referee is gonna hosejob them after watching that footage?”

RICE: “You gotta be kidding me. (CARLTON shrugs) Anyway, lets show highlights of two first round matches, before catching DC Stratton and Steel Viper LIVE for our last first round match! First off, this first round featured the #3 seed and Five-Star Athlete himself, Wildstar (CUTTO: WILDSTAR coming down the aisle slapping hands with the fans) doing battle with the returning JASIN BONDAGE, the #14 seed!" (CUTTO: BONDAGE staring intently at WILDSTAR)

CARLTON: "And this match showed exactly why Wildstar's a fool for ever leaving me, because he was totally off his game tonight!"

RICE: "Wildstar was impressive early (CUTTO: WILDSTAR catching BONDAGE with a spinning heel kick), but you could tell that his Five Star head wasn't in the game! (CUTTO: WILDSTAR putting his head down and getting caught with a kneelift by BONDAGE)

CARLTON: "That's because he's too busy thinking about what Shawn Matthews and that man-beast he's got with him might do to his slampig wife if they got the chance!"

RICE: "That was totally uncalled for! But perhaps Shawn Matthews has gotten inside Wildstar's head, as he was constantly looking over his shoulder during this match, and it cost him dearly. (CUTTO: WILDSTAR pausing to look up the aisle before going for a somersault tope on BONDAGE on the outside, and BONDAGE uses the extra time to get out of the way, and WILDSTAR hits HARD on the concrete floor.)

CARLTON: "HA! That was a Five Star THUD right there, Rice-a-roni!"

RICE: "From there, Wildstar valiantly struggled to get back into the ring, but then THIS happened!" (CUTTO: BONDAGE delivering a running axhandle to WILDSTAR as he stands on the apron, sending 'STAR flying off the apron and crashing headfirst into the steel ringside barricade!)

CARLTON: "Man, can we replay that again? I love watching this stuff!" (CUTTO: A busted open WILDSTAR rolling back under the bottom rope.)

RICE: "Wildstar again showed tremendous heart in beating the count, but was essentially on Dream Street, and was easy prey for Bondage. (CUTTO: BONDAGE hooking a dazed WILDSTAR and delivering a Leaping DDT to score the pinfall.) A tremendous upset as the Five Star Athlete was ELIMINATED in the first round of the tournament by the upstart Jasin Bondage!"

CARLTON: "And it's all because Wildstar was STUPID enough to wrestle to please his wife and son instead of lining my pockets! If he had me in his corner, Shawn Matthews and his sewer mouth would already be back in whatever gutter he crawled out of, and Wildstar would be well on his way to being a FIVE STAR Television champion instead of a FIVE STAR LOSER!"

RICE: "Whether that's true or not, fans, Jasin Bondage advances, and Wildstar goes home! And finally in the next match, one of our first specialty matches of the evening – BILLY GRAY, the #8 seed (CUTTO: BILLY GRAY walking out in a t-shirt, ripped jeans and black boots) took on POWERMASTER (CUTTO: POWERMASTER running around ringside, decked out in tassles and blue tights with Thor’s Hammer on the back) the #9 seed in Gray’s Specialty – the NEW YORK BACK ALLEY BRAWL, which is just a nice name for a No Countout, No DQ, Last Man Standing match!"

CARLTON: “I bet you could count the total IQ of each participant by only using two hands, MAYBE one!”

RICE: “Perhaps, but the fans have always found Powermaster a favorite to watch around here. (CUTTO: A whole row of fans dressed like the Aggro-Intenze Superstar himself) This match ended up being very brutal with Powermaster getting the upper-hand early (CUTTO: PM leveling GRAY with a huge clothesline! PM hitting a flying shoulderblock!) and really taking it to Gray! To the chagrin of some fans, Vanni Ru (CUTTO: RU bringing down a wheelbarrow of weapons) made his appearance on behalf of his apprentice Powermaster!”

CARLTON: “Hey, if Vanni Ru knows ANYTHING it’s how to bring the entertainment to the people!”

RICE: “Powermaster certainly used Ru’s help to get even more of an advantage! (CUTTO: PM breaking a glass plate over Gray’s head! CUTTO: PM busting a garbage can lid over Gray’s head!) But in one crucial mistake, the tide turned over to Billy Gray as Vanni Ru missed with a shovel and cracked his own charge over the head! (CUTTO: PM holding GRAY’s arms behind his back outside the ring, RU charges in with a shovel and GRAY ducks!) Gray then ran off Ru to the back, well what only turned until the end of the match! Gray tore into PM from that point on! Hitting some crushing power moves (CUTTO: GRAY nailing a running powerslam on the exposed cement! CUTTO: GRAY hitting a Release German Suplex in the aisle way! CUTTO: GRAY throwing PM through a refreshment stand!) The action soon took to some remote areas of this arena!”

CARLTON: “Well, you gotta love it when two numbskulls figure out ways to dislodge each other’s jaws with random objects – its what makes America beautiful!”

RICE: “Gray kept up the offensive busting Powermaster over the head with a 2x4 before planting him with his patented ‘LIGHTS OUT’ Piledriver through a table! Referee Nile Simmons started the 10 count, and if I didn’t know at any better I would’ve thought that Powermaster was out for good! But suddenly at the 3 count, a section of fans started chanting “ODIN! ODIN!” and somehow Powermaster came alive! He got to his feet to the absolute shock of Gray and proceeded to shake himself into a frenzy! Gray pounded on him with axehandles and fists, but they had no effect!”

CARLTON: “Its one of those moments where you can really feel the Aggro-Intenzity spreading throughout the building, I felt alive!”

RICE: “Excuse me?”

CARLTON: “Uhhh – nothing.”

RICE: “Riiiiiiight. Powermaster battled back with a clubbing forearms and crushing elbows before booting Gray to the gut and nailing a Helicopter Spin through a Hot Dog Stand! (CUTTO: GRAY lying in a mess of yellow, red and pork!) Powermaster didn’t stop there as he then proceeded to Gorilla Press Slam Gray on the cement floor! Vanni Ru then made his presence felt one more time, and certainly for the last time in this match!”

CARLTON: “Some people bring the heat, Vanni Ru brings the ice!”

RICE: “Literally folks! (CUTTO: RU wheeling down two large ice blocks!) If you’ve seen the Powermaster Home Video Series, you know what was coming here! Ru and Powermaster set up the ice blocks, then placed Gray on top of them! Powermaster climbed up onto a stage rig, leapt off but Gray moved! Gray struggled to his feet, where Ru tried to attack him – but Gray caught him and gave him the ‘Lights Out’ Piledriver on the concrete! Powermaster staggered up, Gray delivered a boot to the gut and then hoisted Powermaster up and THROUGH the ice blocks with a Powerbomb! (CUTTO: PM lying in ice rubble!) Powermaster was NOT able to answer the standing ten count and (CUTTO: GRAY walking back to the locker room holding his arms up in victory!) Billy Gray advanced to the second round!”

CARLTON: “And Ru’s crew had a lot of crushed ice to put in their sodas for the rest of the night!”

RICE: “Indeed. (CUTTO: The ring where STEEL VIPER and DC STRATTON w/ NEIL RIDDICK are all present! LEE-BABY SIMS has just exited the ring after making intros!) Well, it’s time for the LAST first round match of the evening, Cal!”

CARLTON: “I feel like I’m going through Chinese Water Torture, tonight. There’s still seven matches after this, ugh!”

(SFX: BELL!)

RICE: “Both men are ready and we’re set to go. Collar and Elbow tie up and Viper shrugs Stratton off like a RAG DOLL sending him rolling into the opposite corner. Stratton, somewhat stunned, gets to his knees and shakes his head a bit as Viper just stands there smiling at the young backyard brawler.”

CARLTON: “Say, do you think Stratton is a licensed backyarder? My momma’s backyarder quit the other day and her petunias are starting to WILT!”

RICE: “Yo Carlton, pay attention man. We’ve got a match going on here and you’re worried about your momma’s petunias.”

CARLTON: “Well petunias say a lot about a person.”

RICE: “Neil Riddick now whispers something in his protégé’s ear and Stratton nods. He stands and locks up again, NO this time Stratton ducks, goes behind and hits a standing drop kick to the back of Viper’s head! Viper staggers and Stratton waste no time as he grabs Viper and NAILS a Double-Under-hook Belly-to-Back SUPLEX! Stratton to his feet and bounces off the rope, RUNNING BUTT BUSTER!”

CARLTON: “A what?”

RICE: “That’s what I’ve always called it. Call a Cannonball, whatever. With this Stratton kid, sometimes you just have to make up names for the moves he does.”

CARLTON: “I just call them all stupid. He’s going to break his neck one day soon.”

RICE:” I may just have to agree with you there Carlton.”

CARLTON: “No surprise.”

RICE: “Stratton gets up and runs at Viper who’s just making it to his feet, WHOA! Viper drops down and executes a perfect DROP TOE HOLD that sends Stratton face first into the mat. Viper gets to his feet holding his chest from that Sit down splash.”

CARLTON: “You’ve called it three different names now, make up your MIND.”

RICE: “Viper grabs Stratton by the hair and pulls him up as well. The ref is warning him about the hair, but Viper ignores him and lifts him up for a Power-slam, BUT NO, Stratton wiggled out and came down BEHIND Viper, off the opposite ropes, FLYING FOREARM into Viper just he turns around! Stratton jumps up quick and he’s pumped! Stratton points a finger at the top rope as if to ASK the crowd if he should go up! Stratton doesn’t wait for an answer as he’s already there!”

CARLTON: “Get the orthopedic surgeon ready.”

RICE: “Stratton LEAPS…CORKSCREW Moon…NO Viper rolled out of the way and Stratton hit HARD right on the back of his head!”

CARLTON: (makes an ambulance noise)

RICE: “Viper struggles to his feet and brings Stratton to his, whips him into the far side ropes…WHOA! He almost put Stratton THROUGH the mat with a perfectly executed SPINE-BUSTER! The kid is hurting now and Viper smells blood. Viper shakes the cobwebs out and picks him up … MY GOD! HE JUST PRESSED STRATTON RIGHT OUT OF THE RING!“

CARLTON: (hums the funeral march)

RICE: “Riddick over to check on his man as Viper soaks in the heat from the crowd.”

CARLTON: “Riddick better have some smelling salts with him.”

RICE: “Riddick lightly slapping the face of this kid trying to revive him but now Viper has made his way to the outside and with a simple stare backs Riddick off. Viper is LAUGHING and pointing at Stratton like he’s a joke! Still shaking his head, Viper whips Stratton RIGHT INTO the STEEL steps! (SFX: loud clang) Viper slowly walks over, taking his time almost stalking this youngster. He picks up a hurting Stratton and throws him by the hair back into the ring. But Viper takes the slow way in, climbing up the steps almost methodically. It’s almost like Viper is a little over confident. In the ring, Stratton looks like he’s starting to move.”

CARLTON: “That’s just post-mortem twitching.”

RICE: “Viper brings Stratton to his feet, and whips him off the ropes, but NO, Stratton REVERSES and flies off the opposite ropes with a SHOULDER BLOCK! He runs to the ropes again, SPRING BOARD off the middle and comes back with a FLYING cross body to the midsection, but WOW! VIPER just CATCHES him, smiles, and gives him a Fall Away Slam!”

CARLTON: “He’s just toying with him now.”

RICE: “Viper rolls Stratton over and covers with one hand. One, Two, NO! Not yet. This kid’s not ready to cash in yet. Viper pulls him up again, SNAP SUPLEX. Steel Viper is a MACHINE! Irish Whip into the turnbuckle, follows him in and…NO! Viper HITS THE STEEL! Stratton moved and Viper hit shoulder first into the steel ring post! Stratton quickly climbs the ropes again behind Viper, BLOCKBUSTER! The kid nailed it! A cover, One, TWO…NO Viper POWERS OUT with authority! Stratton doesn’t want to give Viper time to recover as he quickly catches him with a European UPPERCUT to the jaw. Viper’s staggered as Stratton bounces off the ropes. SPRINGBOARD MISSILE DROPKICK sends Viper OVER the top!”

CARLTON: “Forget what I said about this guy being my momma’s backyarder. The health insurance alone isn’t worth it.”

RICE: “Stratton climbs the ropes AGAIN and points down at Viper who’s getting to his feet. THREE SIXTY LEG DROP comes CRASHING DOWN! MY GOD this kid is CRAZY!” (Crowd marks!)

CARLTON: “He’s an idiot. What kind of human being would put his OWN body through as much as this just to inflict more pain on his opponent?”

RICE: “BOTH men are down outside the ring with Stratton twitching. Neil Riddick has made his way over to try and motivate this kid to get up and finish it. Riddick YELLING at Stratton now and it seems to be working. Stratton is on his feet and Riddick is pointing under the ring. Stratton lifts the ring cover and pulls out…OH NO…”

CARLTON: “…A TABLE! I love it. This kid’s career is going to be over before it starts.”

RICE: “Stratton sets up the table with Riddick looking on with a sadistic grin on his face. The kid pulls Viper to his feet and lays him on the table. A few HARD right hands to ensure he stays there and now he’s off again. Stratton climbs in the ring and to the top, but Viper sees him and just ROLLS OFF the table. Stratton just shrugs and comes DOWN HARD WITH A FROG SPLASH ON THE FLOOR! (Crowd goes nuts!) MY GOD I think D.C. Stratton has KILLED himself AND Steel Viper! Neither man moving at ALL! And would you just look at that NUTCASE Neil Riddick. He’s laughing! He’s crazier than Stratton.”

CARLTON: “I wouldn’t say that. He’s the only one still standing. I’d say THAT’S smart.”

RICE: “Neither man is moving at all and (Crowd stands, making noise!) and look who’s here!”

CARLTON: “You want to talk crazy, THERE is your man.”

RICE: “Folks, number ONE seed and NFW Commissioner Michael Manson has made his way down to ringside. WHY is he here?”

CARLTON: “Who do I look like, Satan? How would I know?”

RICE: “It was a rhetorical question Carlton, I didn’t expect you to answer it.”

CARLTON: “What?”

RICE: “Shut up. Folks Mike Manson is out here and he’s taking a seat…on our announcers table!”

CARLTON: “I can’t see Rice! Get security, how can I do my JOB!”

MANSON: (barely audible) “You have a problem, move me yourself. I control security in this building.”

CARLTON: “Uh…scoot over Rice man.”

RICE: (shuffling) “Both men now have made it to their feet SOMEHOW and Viper is the first to strike RAMMING Stratton’s back into the ring apron. Viper seems MAD now as he just tosses him into the ring and follows slowly. Stratton holding his back trying to get to his feet, but Viper catches him with a KNEE LIFT to the bridge of the nose that puts Stratton FLAT! Brings him to his feet and RIGHT BACK DOWN HARD with a vicious standing clothesline. Viper with a few STIFF kicks to the head and midsection causes Stratton to TRY and cover up, but to no avail. Viper brings him to his feet and backs him into the corner, and now he backs up ALL the way across the ring and CHARGES, NO. STRATTON MOVED, Viper staggers back and Stratton with a STANDING HURRICANRANA brings him down! Stratton to the second rope and DRIVES a knee into Viper’s chest.”

CARLTON: “Come on, if I wanted to see WRESTLING moves I’d only watch the OSS. I want to see some broken BODIES. Get the TABLE!”

RICE: “You’re sick. Stratton whips Viper into the ropes and catches him with a dropkick. Well it looks like the kid might have heard you Carlton as he’s exiting the ring and grabbing the table!”

CARLTON: “Goodie.”

RICE: “Stratton folds up the table and slides it into the ring. He follows in, but wait (SFX: rustling) Mike Manson has left our announcers table and he’s GRABBING THE TABLE and pulling it outside the ring. Stratton on the inside has the other end and they’re having a TUG OF WAR. Riddick over and he’s yelling at Manson to let go, but Manson says he’s the commissioner and he won’t allow this ILLEGAL activity to go on. PLEASE, give me a break here.”

CARLTON: “Trouble.”

RICE: “Viper’s made it to his feet and he comes up behind Stratton. A forearm to the back of the head stuns him, Viper spins him around, sticks his head between his legs, WHOA! SIT DOWN POWERBOMB drives ALL the air out of Stratton. He’s flopping around on the mat like a dead fish fighting to get some air back in those lungs. Viper catches him, and goes for a cover, this time hooks the leg…ONE, TWO, NO! NO! Just barely. Stratton just barely got the shoulder up on two and three quarters!”

CARLTON: “That was three if you ask me.”

RICE: “I didn’t ask you. Manson has pulled that table outside the ring and once again taken up camp on our announcers table. Viper has Stratton back up, whips him into the ropes, Stratton DUCKS the clothesline … AIR STRATTON! HE HIT THAT SPRINGBOARD SENTON out of NOWHERE! Stratton quickly over…ONE, TWO…NO! Viper slid that should up BARELY in time…and you can tell by his face that move hurt him.”

CARLTON: “Where did you get your education, the School of Obvious?”

RICE: “Better than Momma U.”

CARLTON: “Not in a million…”

RICE: “Back to action, that may have take most of what Stratton has left as he struggles to get to his feet, WHOA! STRATTON JUST LOST IT! HE’S ALL OVER VIPER! Rights and Left to the face and body, Stratton just wailing away at the big man and the ref is TRYING to pull Stratton off. FINALLY Stratton stops and stands and just looks at his hands, an almost evil grin comes across his face.”

CARLTON: “I don’t know what to make of this Rice cakes…he looks scary.”

RICE: “D.C. Stratton has this maniacal look on his face as if he has something VERY bad in mind for Steel Viper. Viper’s starting to stir, trying to collect himself. He’s struggling to get to his feet, but Stratton doesn’t let him stay there for long. Stratton runs up behind Viper, grabs the head…TORNADO DDT with authority! LIONSAULT for good measure and the kid is on a ROLL!”

CARLTON: “He’ll mess it up.”

RICE: “Viper looks to be out of it but Stratton’s NOT going for the cover. Now HE’S laughing at Viper and pointing outside to the TABLE!”

CARLTON: “Manson’s not going to like this.”

RICE: “Stratton’s outside the ring and he’s setting up that table. Manson’s yelling at him and Stratton’s giving it right back…he wants to end Viper’s CAREER. Stratton back inside the ring and just ROLLS Viper to the ring apron and PULLS him outside the ring. Viper groggily on his feet as Stratton gets back into the ring, bounces off the ropes, and FLIES OVER THE TOP ROPE WITH A CLOTHESLINE! Viper is OUT! He’s dead. Stratton struggling to HIS feet and picks the big man off the mat and lays him on the table! Stratton climbs the ring-post and he’s yells out ‘IT’S OVER!’”

CARLTON: “Manson’s at it again.”

RICE: “The commissioner has left his spot again and he’s standing in FRONT of Steel Viper not allowing Stratton to jump. Stratton yelling at Manson to MOVE or he’ll get it as well. He would NEVER do THAT would he Carlton?”

CARLTON: “Never say never.”

RICE: “MY GOD! STRATTON DID IT! He jumped and did a 450 SPLASH taking out MANSON, THE TABLE AND VIPER!” (SFX: Crowd chanting “HO-LEE-SHIT, HO-LEE SHIT)

CARLTON: “I wouldn’t be surprised if he got suspended for that. If any of them are still alive that is.”

RICE: “All THREE men are lying in a pile of broken wood at ringside now, no one is even moving! Neill Riddick over trying to check on his man, but he can’t even get to him as he’s covered by the broken wood and lying UNDER Steel Viper?”

CARLTON: “How did he get UNDER Viper?”

RICE: “Nothing surprises me after this match. Riddick trying to get to his man and he DRAGS Viper off of him. The referee is down trying to prevent Riddick from interfering, but Riddick’s not being persuaded. Riddick pulling his man out of the pile and to a clear spot on the mat. Stratton seems lifeless. Manson is stirring now trying to pull himself to his feet. Riddick goes to the ring announcer table and TAKES a glass of water and pours it on Stratton! Stratton SNAPS TO LIFE, but falls right back down after the initial shock. Stratton TRYING to regain himself staggering around the ring.”

CARLTON: “OK, I’ve had enough. They need to end this now. If my momma is watching she may be getting woozy.”

RICE: “Viper starting to move now too as he has a pretty bad gash on his chest. Wait, what’s Stratton doing?”

CARLTON: “It’s official, this kid belongs in the loony bin.”

RICE: “Stratton has not only set up one table outside the ring, but TWO! One on top of the other! He’s stumbles over to Viper, who has made it to his feet, and tosses him in the ring. Stratton whips him into the opposite ropes, Viper DUCKS an attempted roundhouse kick and stops in his tracks, he turns and just PUNCHES Stratton right between the NOSE! I think he BROKE IT! Stratton bleeding heavily from the nose and Viper goes RIGHT after him. He grabs Stratton by the head and DRAGS his nose across the rope! Stratton dancing around as if he’s trying to stomp out the pain! Viper picks up Stratton…BACKBREAKER, but he doesn’t DROP HIM! ANOTHER! STILL doesn’t drop him and finally DOWN with a POWER SLAM! AWESOME power there by Steel Viper.”

CARLTON: “If there gets to be any more blood, we may be banned from BOSTON too.”

RICE: “Viper in control…pulls Stratton to his feet, POKE to the EYES by Stratton stuns Viper, he runs off the ropes, BULLDOG takes Viper down! Stratton jumps up and runs his thumb across his neck like it’s over! He HEAVES Viper up and sits him on the TOP rope and follows him up. Stratton climbs the turnbuckle and positions himself OUTSIDE ring BEHIND Viper. What’s he going to do HERE?”

CARLTON:”I quit trying to figure him out a LONG time ago.”

RICE: “It looks like he’s going to attempt a REVERSE Superplex and DROP Viper THROUGH those two tables he set up! Wait Manson has positioned himself in front of the tables AGAIN! This time he’s holding a FIRE EXTINGUISHER! What’s he going to do with that? Stratton yelling at him that he’ll just go THROUGH him again! Manson standing there defiantly almost BEGGING him to do it! Stratton shrugs and LIFTS…OH MY Manson just sprayed that fire extinguisher into the FACE of Stratton! Viper is able to wiggle free and falls to the mat behind Stratton! Stratton is blinded! Viper is up quickly and PUSHES STRATTON OFF! STRATTON GOES THROUGH BOTH TABLES! HE’S OUT! GEEZUS CHRIST! GET AN AMBULANCE! Viper falls to the mat in exhaustion and the referee begins counting.” (Crowd: One … Two … Three … Four … Five … Six … Seven … Eight … Nine … TEN! SFX: Bell ringing!)

CARLTON: “Thank GOD that’s over. I need to call momma and tell her she can turn the TV back on.”

RICE: “Folks Steel Viper has won this won by count out. But I’m not sure he’ll be even ABLE to make it to the next match. We need to get somebody down here to check on BOTH these men. In the meantime, we’ll be right back!”



(CUTTO: Back to MICHAEL MANSON’s office – MANSON storms in with RAYNE following behind him, he walks up to his desk and stops in horror!)



MANSON: “M-m-m-my pez, where is it? (MANSON turns to RAYNE with a look of rage!) FIND ME THE PERPETRATOR AT ONCE!”

(RAYNE nods and briskly walks out the door! CUTTO: COMMERICIALS)



(FADEIN: Two men are sitting on chairs watching a local television news broadcast – the camera closes in on the woman news anchor on the TV screen…)

NEWSWOMAN: “And now onto our next story! Police are still offering a reward of $50,000 that can locate the whereabouts of their key witness against Vito The Bull in his upcoming court case on charges of first degree murder and conspiracy. The witness, who is to remain unnamed was last seen two weeks ago at the station house after escaping from Vito The Bull’s men after being held captive for 3 months! Vito the Bull – known to some people as Vito Gotti has vehemently denied any such charges and claims to have never met this man! Police have said the man has brown hair, weighs over 200 pounds and was a professional wrestler for a living – any information would be…”

(The TV gets shut off…the camera pans around to the two men, both wearing black suits with black shoes…)

MAN #1: “Man, this is creepin’ me Bobby. We ain’t heard a ‘ting about this guy, only to watch him.”

MAN #2: “Yeah, we should go check on the rat.”

(The two men stand up and walk through what looks to be an abandoned apartment building. They enter a room where there’s a baseball bat lying beside a pool of blood – next to that is a chair, with nothing sitting on it but a piece of rope that looks like it’s been untied…)

MAN #2: “(BLEEP!) VITO IS GONNA KILL US!”

(The two men run over to a window, which has been broken! The look out and down the window and you see a figure hopping off the bottom of the fire escape to the street!)

MAN #1: MOTHER(BLEEP!) ( BLEEEEEEEEEEEP!) I’M GONNA KILL ‘DAT RAT BASTARD!”

(The two men quickly run from the window and out of the room, one grabbing the baseball bat on the way… QUICK FTB)



(FADEIN: NATRONE RICE and CALVIN CARLTON sitting at the announcing table…)



RICE: "OK, we're ready to go down to the ring with President Sullivan, Lamont Hollywood, and a very special announcement concerning the NFW World Tag team title situation!"

CARLTON: "Situation? The situation is THIS: That the OSS are the rightful and UNCROWNED NFW Tag team champions, and nothing upper management can say can change that!"

RICE: "Well, your boys, Fargo and Mueller were put on notice to stay in the building tonight, and I'm sure you have a vested interest into whatever happens here. . ."

CARLTON: "Damned RIGHT I do! And if my boys need me, I've got their back!"

RICE: "Yeah, WAY back! (CARLTON growls!) In any event, let's take it up to the ring with the Woodman and the Prez1"

(CUTTO: The ring, where LAMONT HOLLYWOOD, an impatient-looking PRESIDENT SULLIVAN, and a LARGE JJ BOULEVARD stand! BOULEVARD stands behind SULLY, wearing black slacks, a black t-shirt in a size that HAD to be tailored for him, dark shades, and a very obvious earpiece trailing a cord down to his belt.)

H'WOOD: (Over some mild boos) "Ok, you people shut up, because this is a special occasion! Why is THIS, (Looks around, then down to the IMPACT! logo on the mat) a special occasion? Because this is the first... and LAST time you'll ever see me on this broadcast! (Cheers! H'WOOD snaps his neck back and forth, impossibly trying to single out every person who's booing) you...INGRATES! And just for that, I won't speak any more - I'll hand the mic over to President Sullivan. Prez?" (H'WOOD graciously gives up the mic to SULLY, who looks over at him in disdain.)

SULLIVAN: "Ok... and ladies and gentlemen - how about this special TV TITLE TOURNAMENT EDITION OF IMPACT! HUNH? (Crowd cheers!) But beyond all the great athletes that you've already, and have yet to see tonight, we have other business on the docket that needs to be taken care of - and right now, I'm talking about the MESS that is the World Tag Team title scene. So what I wanna do right now, is bring EACH, and EVERY ranked tag team out here right now. We're gonna bring all these guys out here, and I'm gonna make a ruling. So... let's get this started! Let's bring out first... LINCOLN and RYAN... THE ... NEW SHOWSTOPPERS! (Crowd gets loud, and the ladies scream, as 'Thunderstruck' plays loud!)

CARLTON: (V/O) "Oh, BOOOO! BOOOOO HISS! Get these losers outta here!"

(The SHOWSTOPPERS make their way out to the walkway from either side, and meet in the middle, and slap high fives, into double down-low fists! They both turn and start making their way down the isle, slapping the occasional hand. Both members are in hot pink and white tights, matching boots, and NFW Showstoppers Hockey jerseys. They hit the ring and climb the buckles at the same time, drawing in the crowd!)

RICE: (V/O) "And listen to the Tsongas come alive! They love them some Showstoppers!"

CARLTON: (V/O) "YOU MISSPOKE! What you had MEANT to say, was ORIGINAL SHOWSTOPPERS!"

RICE: (V/O) "No...I'm pretty sure I got it right."

SULLIVAN: (As the 'STOPPERS jump down and take up a corner of the ring) "Ok... let's bring out... DOCTOR SILVER, and GLADIATOR. (MASS BOOS! 'Only Happy When it Rains' by Garbage plays, and the crowd gets madder!)"

CARLTON: (V/O) "Now HERE'S a group I can get behind!"

(DOC walks out, dressed for the ring in his usual sweats/sneakers/random Garbage shirt, and he walks right down the ramp, as GLADIATOR staggers out after a beat, wearing his black toga, boots and heavy workman's gloves! GLADIATOR Foley limp-walks down the ramp, and a huge chant of 'TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!' breaks out in the interim. Both men get to ringside and climb in, and immediately get into words with the 'STOPPERS! GLADIATOR goes into the folds of his toga, and DOC stops him - for now!)

RICE: (V/O) "Two men I don't ever wanna get caught in an alley with. Doc and that psychopath, Gladiator."

CARLTON: (V/O) "I betcha that Gladiator can hear you - you know that crazy people have heightened senses!"

SULLIVAN: "You four - you calm it down over there... I'm not having this tonight... JJ, keep your eye on them. ... Now, let's get out here... let's bring out here, SCOTT and ROGER POWELL. The POWELL BROTHERS." (Crowd is really indifferent, but we hear a LOT of boos as 'Break Stuff' by Limp Bizkit blares through the speakers of the PA! (CUTTO: The back area of the Tsongas Arena, where we see techs and production crew run for their lives! At the back of the hall, around a bend, we see a shirtless GREG HERPIN get flung into the hallway, skidding across the floor, and crashing into a table set up for refreshments! The crowd screams as SCOTT and ROGER storm up, SCOTT with 'Ol Bessie', and ROGER with what looks like a crowbar! Both men assault anybody in their vision, and flip over a few tables on their way to the curtain!)

RICE: (V/O) "If you thought pissed-off had a face to go with it, you'd see THESE two - The Powells, who have put the NFW on notice earlier that their SICK of the games, and they want a pound of flesh!"

CARLTON: (V/O) "Well, they better not bring that noise to the OSS, because those two overstuffed idiots don't put a wrinkle in the brow of Calvin Carlton Enterprise! They can bring that noise to my men, and see what it gets them!"

(The POWELLS make their way to the entrance, and after they flip the curtain, they hit the ring fill-bore! The crowd screams as both men hit the ring, and the other teams jump off, or OUT of it! Both men stomp around with steam coming out of their ears, and JJ BOULEVARD wisely steps in front of the president... and H'WOOD is nowhere to be found! Finally, the camera catches him making his way through the crowd, making 'F-this!' body motions, clearing distance between himself and the POWELLS! The crowd bugs out!)

SULLIVAN: "You two ... HEY! You two, we're not gonna have this out here! HEY! (Just then, ‘In from the Storm’ by Jimi Hendrix plays, and the crowd gets loud as HURRICANE and TORNADO rush out, in street clothes and masks, and slide in and start duking it out with the POWELLS! BOULEVARD pulls SULLY outta the ring, but he's fighting against him from removing him from ringside! The crowd goes ape-shit!)"

RICE: "And all holy hell has broken loose out here, as STORM, The 'Cane and the Tornado, are blowing all over the ring with the Powell boys! ('Back in Black' by AC/DC comes on, and the ORIGINAL SHOWSTOPPERS, FARGO and MUELLER run out from the back, both in jeans, boots, and sleeveless confederate flag shirts and bandanas, and they run head-on into MCKINLEY and CONNORS in the middle of the ramp! The crowd is jumping up and down, going bananas as FARGO gets flat-tackled by MCKINLEY, and MUELLER and CONNORS trade hard right hands! Suspiciously absent, is DOC and GLADIATOR, who are off to the side, watching the whole spectacle!) WAIT! THE OSS ARE HERE, AND THEY'RE MIXING IT UP WITH THE NEW SHOWSTOPPERS IN THE ISLE! POWELLS AND STORM! THIS ISN'T WHAT THE PRESIDENT WANTED!"

CARLTON: (V/O) "Serves him right to think he could bring all of these guys out here and NOT expect this to happen!"

(Suddenly, 'Volume 4' by the Rollins Band comes up, and the crowd blows up! CALAMITY and 'Big in Japan' SEAN TOOMBS appear on the isle, with PLUNDER! Toombs has a workman’s ladder, and Calamity has a Craftsman tool-chest on wheels, that looks like he stole out of an auto garage! TOOMBS runs down to the ring, with a huge smile on his face, and throws that ladder into the ring, and that scatters the group!)

RICE: "And now EVERY NFW tag team is out here, and they're beating each other silly! Calamity of NFW World tag champs HELLMACHINE, is on the ramp, and he just got a running start and wheeled that big red toolbin down into the hip of Brandon Mueller, and he just got clipped! It crashes down on its' side on the ramp, and OH MAN! (Crowd marks as the camera closes up to a million shiny tools spilling onto the ramp!) A cornucopia of weapons are out on the ramp! Calamity has a soldering iron, and OH! he just jabs that into the head of Brandon Mueller! He's standing over his back, and he's drawing blood on Mueller! That's just NASTY!"

CARLTON: "HE CAN'T DO THAT! HE CAN'T DO THAT! STOP THIS MADNESS!"

RICE: "President Sullivan is standing on a chair at ringside, and he looks like he's gonna EXPLODE! Wait a minute – GLADIATOR HAS CLIMBED TO THE TOP ROPE! DOC GIVING HIM THE CUE TO HIT LIKE A BLITZKRIEG! There’s about SIX OR SEVEN guys in his line of fire…(CROWD EXPLODES!) GLADIATOR JUST HIT A SUICIDE DIVE ON ALL OF THEM! TOOMBS, ROGER, TORNADO, FARGO, MCKINLEY – ALL TAKEN OUT! THAT WAS INSANE!”

CROWD: “N-F-W! N-F-W!”

(CUTTO: SULLIVAN screaming at the top of his lungs at SILVER! SULLIVAN rips off his tie and throws his jacket to the ground! He snatches a mic from Lee-Baby Sims, and he jumps on the apron and throws his hands up in the air!)

SULLIVAN: "STOP THIS BULL(BLEEEEEEEEEEEP!)T RIGHT! NOW!" (Everybody stops brawling, and looks up! CUTTO: SULLIVAN, who's bright purple, and sweating!) "NOW! I am SICK! and TIRED! of all of this! Last CRASH, was the hugest bunch of run-ins and backstabbing I have EVER WITNESSED, and it ALL had to do with YOU TWO. (Points at HELLMACHINE! CALAMITY throws a double duke at SULLY for his troubles!) Now, I'm gonna mandate RIGHT HERE, and RIGHT NOW, for the NFW WORLD TAGTEAM CHAMPIONSHIP at FUTURESHOCK... TWO matches... that will lead to a FINALE, at FUTURESHOCK. TWO MATCHES... Two WINNING TEAMS... will face each other at the end of FUTURESHOCK for the World Tag team titles. Two TRIANGLE MATCHES, ELIMINATION RULES ... will feed into two teams going for it all. (Crowd is interested, as well as the teams involved!) FIRST MATCH... we will see current World Tag team Champions HELLMACHINE...versus DOC SILVER AND GLADIATOR... versus... STORM! (Crowd goes nuts!)

RICE: (V/O) "WOW! That’s' a main event right there!"

SULLIVAN: "And then, on the other side, we have THE POWELLS, versus The NEW SHOWSTOPPERS... versus the ORIGINAL SHOWSTOPPERS!”

CARLTON: (V/O) “He’s setting US up!”

SULLIVAN: “And you know what, let’s make things a little MORE interesting! Those two matches – will have BUNKHOUSE BRAWL rules! (crowd marks out!) That’s right, wear WHATEVER you want, and bring WHATEVER you want ‘cause at Futureshock – IT’S YOUR FIGHT FOR YOUR DAMN FUTURE! (pop!) And we’re JUST! GETTING! STARTED! (pop!) The winners of these two matches will then... meet later in the night at FUTURESHOCK, with the titles held 20 feet in the air... in the first ever NFW... PRISONER OF WAR CAGE MATCH! (Crowd goes nuts! CUTTO: CALAMITY nodding his head, licking his lips!) Craig Miles and I have been viewing tape of insane Japanese Death Matches, and we're gonna bring that noise to the states... and it's gonna be INSANE. Two teams, will step into THIS VERY RING, and it’s gonna be surrounded by a TWENTY FOOT HIGH BAMBOO CAGE! (CROWD: “HOLY SH*T! HOLY SH*T!”) Now, for the sake of getting the viewers to buy this event, I’ll just say this much: In this finale of a match, besides the bamboo besides the Death Match trap doors and booby traps! If I were you, I’d get ready for the tweaks and surprises that ONLY the minds in NFW can bring! (CUTTO: Crowd starts standing and booing! Ten to Fifteen Security guards – wearing the same ear cords as JJ Boulevard run down to the ringside in a single, orderly fashion!) Now it seems in order for y’all to stay in ONE FREAKIN’ PIECE, I gotta bring in the Riot Squad! Any of y’all ‘cause trouble with these men, consider your title shot hopes NULL! AND VOID!”

(CUTTO: The security patrol get each tag teams together and surround them individually! CUTTO: SULLIVAN drops the mic, pulls out a handkerchief and wipes the sweat off his brow! CUTTO: RICE and CARLTON at the announcing booth, CARLTON in slack jawed shock!)

RICE: “Folks, THAT is an announcement. Cal, how ‘bout the trials and tribulations the O-S-S faces at FUTURESHOCK! A triangle bunkhouse brawl with not only THE POWELL BROTHERS – quite possibly the most body crushing force NFW has to offer, but your LONG-time nemesis – RYAN! LINCOLN! EVEN SHANIQUA – THE SHOWSTOPPERS!”

CARLTON (still in shock): “I don’t think Momma is gonna be happy about this. Did he say Prisoner of War match if we win?”

RICE: “That’s right, even if the O-S-S does win – y’all would have to walk into a Death Match surrounded by 20 feet of THICK Bamboo!”

CARLTON: “…”

RICE: “Well, for ONCE – my partner can’t seem to find ANYTHING to say! We’ll be right back!”



(COMMERCIALS)



(FADEIN: Blast of static – TEMPESTA/SHAWN MATTHEWS JIP! CUTTO: Tempesta setting himself for a slingshot cross body over the top onto a stunned Matthews on the floor, but Matthews gets his wits about him and flees from the area.)

RICE: “And Matthews gets himself out of dodge there...Tempesta now stalking about the inside of the ring waiting on Matthews to get himself back into the ring to continue this match...Matthews sneaks in under the bottom rope and stalks Tempesta...Who gets into a slugfest with Matthews and rocks the arrogant punk back into the corner.”

CARLTON: “Some guy is cocky?! Who cares?! These Jobber title guys have 'gimmicks' and stuff?! God, who the hell cares?!”

RICE: “You are NOT the reason people tune into the show god dammit...These men bust their butts in that ring for a chance to get a shot...And you do nothing but degrade them...You are such a wet blanket...Matthews whipped into the opposite corner and staggers out into a BIG BACKBODY DROP...Tempesta now off the ropes...HE LEAPS...ELBOW DROP MISSES!!”

CARLTON: “And the idiot jumps about ten feet in the air to land an elbow...Geez...”

RICE: “Matthews now stalking Tempesta and kicking away on his back and head...Matthews pulls Tempesta to his feet and hooks him...DDT! Matthews covers! ONE...TWO...NO! Tempesta kicks out!! Matthews yells at the ref and pulls Tempesta back to his feet and whips him into the ropes...Matthews goes for a backdrop...Sunset flip by Tempesta...ONE! TWO! NO! Matthews scrambles to his feet and goes for a clothesline...Tempesta ducks and gets him in a BACKSLIDE! ONE! TWO! NO! Matthews again gets to his feet...Tempesta with an Inside cradle!! ONE! TWO! MATTHEWS ROLLS THROUGHT HE'S ON TOP! ONE! TWO! TEMPESTA REVERSES! ONE! TWO! THREE!!”

(CUTTO: TEMPESTA rolls out of the ring to the floor as a raging Matthews kicks the ropes in disgust and chases the ref from the ring – QUICK FTB)

(FADEIN: Blast of static – MICHAEL MANSON versus BILLY GRAY JIP! CUTTO: MANSON being whipped into the STEEL Steps as GRAY then walks over to MANSON, screaming at him)

RICE: “Gray getting up in Manson's face now after the impact of Mike Manson bouncing off those steps has left him laying on the floor in a pile....Gray grabs Manson and SPIKES His head off the ring post!! Manson is tossed into the ring and he looks lifeless!”

CARLTON: “Well he might end up not walking out of NFW! He might end up being CARRIED out of the company! Billy Gray covers the prone Manson! ONE! TWO! NO! Manson throws a shoulder into the air! Grey hits the mat and then starts kicking away...Manson pulled to his feet...(SFX: Loud SMACK, crowd reacts with OHHHH'S!) Manson just SLAPPED the taste out of Gray's mouth! Gray hauls off to deck Manson...Right hand blocked...Manson connects...And another right by Manson! Manson staggering Gray and now takes him headfirst into the corner! Gray is staggering and Manson whips him into the corner and Gray staggers out...SWEET DREAMS! NO GRAY PUSHES MANSON AWAY!! Manson turns around as Gray rushes at him with a Clothesline! Manson ducks it...KICK TO THE GUT!! SWEET DREAMS!!! MANSON NAILS IT! ONE! TWO! THREE!! And Manson wins!”

(QUICK FTB)

(FADEIN: Blast of Static then STEEL VIPER v JASON BONDAGE Joined In Progress. CUTTO: STEEL VIPER in khaki-green-and-black singlets with black boots, rocketing off the ropes at JASIN BONDAGE, wearing torn black jeans and a blood-red t-shirt. Bondage ducks the rampaging Viper and lays flat, Viper hops over, and returns from the other rope as Bondage hops to his feet and tries to stand from a crouching position)

RICE: "Jasin Bondage putting too much into one motion, he can't get up faster than Steel Viper can throw a clothesline from the rope, and Bondage takes a powerful arm to the back of his neck! The boy might've gotten his eggs scrambled, but he knows enough to keep from hitting the mat, as he struggles to his feet and holds himself up on the rope - if he gets on the ground, and it's Steel Viper's game, it's all about the ground fighting at that point!"

CARLTON: "Listen to you, talking like you know these men, or anything about this sport! If you had HALF the INNATE CANNINESS I, as manager of the true tag team champions of the NFW and CEO ... no, let's make that PRESIDENT of WILDST-"

RICE: "Viper sweeping in under Bondage and hoists Jasin above the ropes, then STUN GUNS him with a modified, reversed face-plant that he just added to the playbook on the fly! The sheer BRUTE STRENGTH it took to move Jasin Bondage like that, combined the speed to pull off that move, AND the skill to make it work ... that's STEEL VIPER in a nutshell! Viper with the cover and it goes to 2, Jasin persevering with an upraised shoulder, refusing to let the match turn against him so quickly - and THAT is what Jasin Bondage is about!"

CARLTON: "...I canNOT believe you interrupted me. For ... for THAT ... puerile ... uninformed ... pandering ..."

RICE: "We have a MATCH going on here, little man! You can pad your imaginary resume LATER!"

CARLTON: "IMAGINARY! You're talking to the most accomplished non-wrestling talent on the roster ... HECK, the only reason EYE don't own the World Title myself is that my momma told me not to exert myself in those humid Boston summers. Imagine, I could catch the vapors! AND WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT WRESTLING, all you do is .. make up names for ... things ... you see ... there, in the ... ring! In the ring!"

(IN THE RING: Viper pulls Bondage up by the neck, and pulls him to the center of the ring, laying forearms across Bondage's back, then whips him into the ropes and applies a standing sleeper hold in the middle of the ring)

RICE: "Fine, Cal, why don't you take over the play-by-play. I'll shave off two feet and steal Richie Rich's wardrobe, and you can jockey the mic."

CARLTON: "... And waste my gargantuan talent on these two back-alley slapfighters, this undereducated, unwashed Boston gutter mob, and you? You're better off saving me for when you NEED me, higher up the card."

RICE: "...Back in the ring, Jasin twisting around in Viper's grip, the shootfighter not having the leverage he needed drops the hold and delivers a short knee to Jasin's gut! Viper pulls Bondage by the neck over to the turnbuckle, stands on the bottom rung and sets Jasin up for a Tornado DDT, he's UP, and Jasin ROLLS with it, throws off Viper's spin and sends Steel Viper to the mat headfirst! Viper took that shot with ALL his weight and momentum, and he's legitimately dazed! Bondage still getting his wits, he took a bump himself on that reversal! Bondage scurries hands-and-knees to Viper, rolls him up in a small package, gets to TWO AND NINE TO INFINITY, Viper BLASTS out! Bondage sent sprawling, rushes back in to try again but Viper's got his sea-legs, catches Bondage by the arm and applies the chickenwing crossface, Bondage spazzing out and grabs the rope with his free hand, ref breaks it up!"

CARLTON: "Chickenwing crossface! That's just what I'm talking about! I'd hate to imagine you think that ANY wrestling move could have a name so ... ridiculous! Frivolous! Silly!"

RICE: "I understand your mom sells chicken wings and waffles."

CARLTON: "... Don't you talk about my momma."

RICE: "Viper and Bondage back to even keel, Jasin applying salty left hands to Viper, Viper forgot to check the ETA of those punches, because he doesn't even notice them coming in. Viper tries for the armgrab again, Bondage slips past and delivers a knee to Viper's chest, VIPER GRABS BONDAGE BY THE LEG AND (SFX:SLAM CROWD: OOOH!) GOOD LORD! A beautiful improvised suplex slam by the Shoot Monster, Steel Viper! Bondage took the impact along his ENTIRE UPPER BODY, but it doesn't look like any of the pain's been spread out and diminished. Viper goes for an ankle lock, Jasin still fighting for every second of survival, has it in him to grab the ropes and the ref breaks it up, and Bondage stands like he's walking on rolling pins! Bondage hanging off the ropes, Viper pushes the ref out of the way and charges in for a spear, Jasin meets the assault with an underarm hook that sends Viper flying OVER the ropes to the floor outside the ring!"

CARLTON: "I'm serious, watch your mouth about my momma."

RICE: "(pause) ... Bondage taking a deep breath, ricochets off the far end of the ring, jumps UP on the ropes - OH, and Bondage not having his balance there, obviously trying for an aerial move but he can't get the stability off the ropes, Viper to his feet - (CROWD: CHEERS EXCITEDLY) Bondage has SLIPPED and FALLEN RIGHT INTO STEEL VIPER'S ARMS! FATE IS CRUEL, and SO IS STEEL VIPER! Bondage receives a BACKBREAKER across Viper's knee, but VIPER DOESN'T LET GO! He's hefting Bondage UP to his feet, he's got him around the waist! GERMAN SUPLEX on the UNPROTECTED FLOOR! Bondage is OH - DOUBLEYOU - TEE, OUT! Viper hauls Jasin Bondage back in the ring, rolls him into the center and HOOKS THE LEG, it's ONE - TWO - THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT, and STEEL VIPER walks away from the quarterfinal as the victor!"

(CUTTO: Blast of Static, then MISTER DREAD versus ADRENALINE – Joined In Progress. CUTTO: The center of the ring. MISTER DREAD is dressed in an unaccustomed style, full-length black wrestling tights with airbrushed pitbulls along the legs, and black boots, accessorized by his traditional "Dogs Of War" t-shirt. ADRENALINE, in USA Weightlifting Pants and white slip-ons, has Dread in a suspended jackhammer, milking it for appreciation from the crowd)

RICE: "The fans in Boston are getting their money's worth tonight! It's been back-and-forth, back-and-forth with these two since the opening bell, but Adrenaline has taken command and is leaving Dread HANGING! Adrenaline, pumped up as his name implies, really holding this move BUT does he have the strength and stamina to rally from this exhausting spectacle fast enough to turn showboating into showSTOPPING?"

CARLTON: "Speaking of Showstoppers..."

RICE: "I KNOW you know I don't have time for that right now. Why don't you write that down and mail it to me later?"

CARLTON: "An excellent idea! Are you sure you're not a Princeton man? I'll get right on that."

(SFX: Paper rustling, and a pencil scribbling frantically)

RICE: "...I don't know what to do about him, people. Adrenaline losing his footing, TOO MUCH SHOWBOATING, he steps back and Dread in command of the momentum, turns his suspended state into a prime opportunity for a ROLLUP! Adrenaline must've forgotten his manners because he doesn't even do Dread the courtesy of letting the count get to TWO before breaking out, Adrenaline fast in on the ground, trying to get a lock on Dread's lower extremities, Dread no slouch in the technical department JUST staying seconds ahead of his opponent, Adrenaline charges and Dread to his feet and across the ring, both men pacing each other now as the crowd gives it up for their technical exchange!"

CARLTON: "No, that can't be right. I'm sure they were 'giving it up' for my EXCELLENT PENMANSHIP! Please, look at this! See how clearly I print? It's a work of loveliness!"

RICE: "I like how you put little hearts over the 'i's, Cal."

CARLTON: "My momma taught me to do that. When she writes her daily list of errands, chores, directives, schedule and moral necessities to me, she puts hearts on the 'i's. She says it's because there's no one she loves ... more than I! Isn't that SWEET?"

RICE: "Like corn syrup sucked through a Pixie Stix. Look, Cal, in the ring! Wrestling!"

CARLTON: "What? Where? All I say are two classless slumorphans tiptoeing around a ring and throwing kisses at each other. Now, if you want to see a REAL wrestling match, MY Showstoppers - "

RICE: "Are probably having an illicit rendezvous with an underage girl at a Piggeldy-Wiggledy. Meanwhile, back between THESE two competitors, Dread and Adrenaline locked up, Adrenaline with a foot sweep that brings Dread to one knee, Dread uses the leverage to roll Adrenaline over, Adrenaline bounces off the ropes and reverses, putting Dread's shoulders to the mat! One-Two, Dread kicks up and uses Adrenaline like a stool for ONE-TWO, Adrenaline powers out and scrambles to a top position, ONE-TWO, Dread rolls sideways for a pin attempt, ONE-TWO, Adrenaline bridges ONE-TWO, Dread rolls sideways again ONE-TWO, Adrenaline rolls and grabs Dread's leg, puts him in a hasty half-Boston Crab, Dread pulls up and goes to the ropes, ref breaks it up, and the crowd has no choice but to let the love flow and give it up for these two TOP-level athletes!"

CARLTON: "Please! At this point, I'VE gotten more pinfalls in this match than either of them! Credit where credit is due, these guys kind of suck!"

RICE: "And now I know why you never walk through the locker room unaccompanied, Webster. Adrenaline taking the opportunity to change the tune to which they're dancing, a knife edge chop staggering Dread, and another, Dread returns and Adrenaline flips Dread into the corner, throwing punches down as he stands on the lower ropes! 3 - 4 - 5 - 6, and that's all Dread can take, he pushes Adrenaline down to the mat, Adrenaline lands on both feet, comes running for a spear to the corner but Dread steps aside and lets Adrenaline take the turnbuckle! Adrenaline stumbles off, Dread from the ropes with a running bulldog, Adrenaline lands belly up and Dread goes for a bottom rope moonsault, Adrenaline OUT OF THE WAY at the last second! Adrenaline dropping the knee hastily on Dread on the mat! Adrenaline standing, he's giving the crowd the high sign, as he goes for the turnbuckle! Dread scurrying across the mat, Adrenaline doesn't see him, Adrenaline PULLED off the turnbuckle, he hits the mat hard! Dread up, and filling in for an ailing Adrenaline tonight on the turnbuckle, it's MISTER DREAD with a full moonsault from the top turnbuckle, this one HITS! He hooks the leg and covers for a one - TWO - TH - TWO and a BOTTLE OF POP! Adrenaline kicks out!"

CARLTON: "Bottle of ... "

RICE: "Dread pulling Adrenaline to the ropes, Dread exhausted, but you can't forget what this match is about! Dread has hovered under the glass ceiling, now this is his FIRST REAL CHANCE for a TITLE OF HIS OWN! Adrenaline has moved from fighting a pot-bellied ex-booker to some of the toughest challengers in the card, and this is HIS FIRST REAL CHANCE for a TITLE OF HIS OWN! Both men have just as much to lose as the other, and no one can afford to give an inch! Dread just realizing he's bleeding from the mouth, he sucks it up and rests Adrenaline on the corner, knife edge chop (SFX: SLAP CROWD:WOOOO!), and another, and another, and Adrenaline just slumps to the ground! Dread puts the boots to him, and cements the promise with a boot to the chest, pushing the air out of Adrenaline's lungs! Dread hauling Adrenaline to the center of the ring, setting him up for a powerbomb that has GOT to get the end of things, Dread sets up and Adrenaline REVERSES, Dread goes over backwards and Adrenaline follows up with a canny elbow drop and a hook of the leg!"

CARLTON: "CANNY! I taught you that word!"

RICE: "One-TWO-TH - Dread breaks it and gets to his feet, you can see from the look on his face that he means business now - Adrenaline basking in the cheers, he's soaking up the audience appreciation, but CLOWNTIME IS OVER! Dread tackles Adrenaline and starts laying in with the open hand punches - at least I HOPE they're open hand! Adrenaline can't rally, the ref pulls Dread off, Adrenaline beelines for the ropes but Dread smells blood and launches himself with an in-ring plancha! I've never SEEN such a thing! Adrenaline dazed, Dread rolls him up, Adrenaline busts out but doesn't have anywhere to go as Dread locks on a chokehold, Dread gets to his feet and pulls Adrenaline along with him! Adrenaline sets Dread yup for the Russian legsweep, Dread ducks out and grabs Adrenaline by the waist for a SIDE SUPLEX, but ADRENALINE ROLLS IT OUT and tucks under Dread! The Up-And-Coming Mister kicks out and reverses into another hold, Adrenaline counters and BY THE LOOK ON HIS FACE, YOU KNOW HE KNOWS! Adrenaline just maneuvered himself into perfect position for a Northern Lights, Dread makes the suplex and bridges for the pin, Adrenaline fighting but TWO - AND - THREE MISTER DREAD walks away from this quarter final tournament with a definitely hard-won victory over a top-notch competitor! MISTER DREAD moves on to the semi-finals! Mister Dread moves on to the semi-finals!

CARLTON: "And one more time, for the deaf."

RICE: “Ugh – fans we’ll be right back.”



(CUTTO: Paul Tsongas Arena Parking lot – SCOTT POWELL is walking by, not noticing anything around him. In one of the cars as the cameras pass by we see TORNADO, HURRICANE – STORM. Due to the Powells’ actions against Storm’s manager WINDY last week – both HURRICANE and TORNADO almost leap out the car roof trying to get out of the car! They jump out right in front of Scott blocking his path.)

SCOTT (hesitantly): “Ummm Hello...”

TORNADO: “You really shouldn’t be out here walking alone after what you did to Windy, punk.”

(STORM start stalking towards Powell who backpedals…)

HURRICANE: “If you think HER hospital stay was long, just you wait…”

(STORM are now inches away from POWELL…)

SCOTT: “Hey, you screwed us out of our match!”

HURRICANE: “(BLEEP!) OFF!”

SCOTT: “How immature are you?”

TORNADO: “Listen, you're in no position to argue, right now all I see is two of US and ONLY one of you.”

SCOTT: “See, I wouldn’t think that…”

(All of a sudden from out of the corner comes ROGER POWELL with ‘ol Bessie! He cracks TORNADO across the back with the bat! HURRICANE turns around, but Scott grabs his arms from behind and Roger cracks him in the ribs with a bat shot!)

ROGER (looking down at Tornado): “Well this isn't going anywhere. (Powell cracks him over the back with the bat again! And then does the same to Hurricane!) You didn't think I was serious when I said it wasn't over...did you? Maybe, this will make you re-think that…”

(ROGER and SCOTT bend over and start removing STORM’s masks…the camera fades out, but back in quickly. THE POWELLS are sitting in their Cherokee in some abandoned lot away from the Paul Tsongas Arena. The Powells are smiling, admiring themselves…)

SCOTT: (smiling) “Now we have something THEY want...”

(A limousine pulls up next to the Cherokee. The familiar gallon-hat, Stetson wearing TEXAN gets out of the limousine with a briefcase in his hand.)

TEXAN: “Y’all have the merchandise? (ROGER nods, the Texan opens up the briefcase and ROGER places the two Storm masks in it and the Texan closes it immediately after the masks have been placed inside) Alright boys, a job well done. Expect your accounts to have a little reward wired in at 9 PM. Now I heard about this here title match, you boys got coming up. Listen boys - Don't lose this one, that would make me very unhappy...understand?”

(The Powells looks at each other, then back at the Texan coldly…)

SCOTT: “The gold is as good as ours, don’t worry about it.”

TEXAN: “Good…that’s what I like to here.” (The TEXAN turns back towards his limo…)

ROGER: “Hey what are you planning to do with those?”

TEXAN: “You ever hear of Ebay?”



(FTB – COMMERCIALS)



(FADEIN: The camera pans around the ring from the far corner of the sold-out PAUL TSONGAS ARENA, near the ramp, catching fans holding their homemade signs - "Calvin Carlton, Heat Machine," "NFW Needs Neuromancer" and "Manson 3:16 Says I Just Ate Some Pez," for starters. At the center of the cameraman's attention is the 25-foot tall steel enclosed cage descending on the ring in the center of the building. All spots and follow-lights in the arena are tracking the descent of the cage as the crowd makes appreciative sounds, knowing the cage match is coming ...)

RICE: "It's twenty-five feet high, all steel construction and completely enclosed, and it's the most horrific environment in the boundaries of this sport. You've seen something like it in other promotions around the world, but you have NEVER - and I can guarantee NEVER - seen the kind of steel cage match you are going to see tonight. Four walls, a roof, one way out - and a LOT of surprises along the way. We're going up to Mark on the ramp to hear what head official Greg Herpin has to say about this ominous enclosure descending on the NFW arena tonight!"

(CUTTO: JUST MARK in khaki pants and hunter green NFW polo shirt, holding a mic and standing next to head official Greg Herpin, who is wearing his ref gear. Herpin's eyes occasionally dart off-camera, towards the center of the arena, as the cage lowers and Just Mark occasionally turns his attention to the activity ringside.)

MARK: "Natrone, Calvin, I'm here with NFW chef official Greg Herpin, who will be the SOLE NFW official within the steel cell tonight. Scott has been kind enough to take these few moments to explain to us and the audience the specific conditions of the match tonight between MICHAEL MANSON and NFW rising star TEMPESTA DEL FUERTE for the brand-spanking new NFW Television Title! Scott, fill us in!"

HERPIN: "Mark, what you're looking at tonight is a specially constructed, enclosed steel cage, commissioned by the NFW for the use in this match tonight. It stands 25 feet high, it completely surrounds the ring tonight, and has ONLY one entrance, which WILL be locked and bolted at the beginning of the match. There is NO other escape from the cage, and the only way for either of tonight's competitors to win the match tonight will be pinfall or submission. There is NO DISQUALIFICATION, no COUNTOUT, no TIME LIMIT! Tonight, one of these two men must beat the other, and there's no other way to win!"

MARK: "Now Scott, we've all seen some of the famous, most protected matches in the history of the business, taking place in a five-sided enclosed steel structure. I understand that NFW has added its own surprising twist to the proceedings tonight, could you possibly fill us in on the specifics of tonight's match?"

HERPIN: "Mark, besides the no-DQ conditions of tonight's match, we've chosen to call the following event a "LOCKED STOCKED BOX" match! Each competitor was invited to provide to NFW officials a LIST of offensive tools which they wanted stocked under the ring tonight! The apron of that ring holds literally dozens of potential weapons specifically requested to be in place by tonight's two competitors! For THIS MATCH, New Frontier Wrestling is ENCOURAGING the use of FOREIGN, DANGEROUS OBJECTS! The underside of the ring has been PACKED TO THE GILLS with all manner of potential weapons, based on whatever items we NFW officials considered reasonable from the requests provided to us by the competitors in tonight's match."

MARK: "Can you give the audience tonight a rough idea of what kind of weapons and tools we might see pulled out from under the apron here tonight, Scott?"

HERPIN: "Actually Mark, I am CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGED to keep the contents of tonight "LOCKED STOCKED BOX" a complete secret, but, I CAN tell you ONE thing ..."

MARK: "Yes?"

HERPIN: "Mike Manson's list ALONE was longer than my arm. AND that guy writes small!"

MARK: "A completely enclosed STEEL CAGE, NO disqualification, and a ring FULL of weapons! Natrone, Cal, what more could we hope for? This is Mark and Greg Herpin on the ramp, returning it to you, boys..."

RICE: "The LOCKED, STOCKED BOX! An enclosed CELL! MYSTERY WEAPONS! And TWO of the most off-the-hook HARDCORE wrestlers in NFW HISTORY competing for the BRAND NEW NFW TELEVISION TITLE, and it's all NEXT AFTER THIS BREAK!



(CUTTO: Commercials - "The Ford Compensator, 1200 sq.foot Sports utility Vehicle, the 2003 Compensator - Just Admit it." ... "Also brought to you by the Tourism Board of Northern Ireland, 'We Don't Seem So Freaking Dangerous Now, Do We? Visit Ireland, It's Safer Than A Lot Of Other Places." ... "And consideration paid by the Boones Farm family of wine-flavored malt liquor - It's How College Girls Get Really Drunk!" )

(RETURN FROM BREAK)



(CUTTO the ramp as "Mechanical Animals" continues to play, and the crowd is giving up SOMETHING between love and heat. MICHAEL MANSON is standing at the foot of the ramp, staring up at the cage in front of him. The camera pans between his left profile and a shot directly in front of him, catching what appears to be a look of deep concentration)

RICE: "Michael Manson, you love him or you hate him, this is a competitor who has definitely gained the ATTENTION of every fan, every wrestler, and EVERY NFW corporate official in one way or another. The only question that remains is ... for good or bad?"

CARLTON: "EVERY NFW official? Try Craig Miles and Quentin Sullivan! When Michael Manson was out there begging for a job, he wasn't so picky about 'job restrictions!' Manson turned around and bit the very hands that fed him!"

RICE: "He bit the hand that held his collar! Manson's Commissionership had its teeth removed, he would've been a paper official! Mike Manson doesn't want to be a puppet!"

CARLTON: "That explains a lot, I guess all puppets have a hand up their -"

RICE: "WHICH brings us back to Michael Manson standing outside the cage, giving it the old hairy eye while chief official Greg Herpin waits patiently inside the LOCKED, STOCKED BOX. Whatever Manson's thinking about, he's not giving any clues to - "

(MUSIC UP: "Scum Of The Earth" by Rob Zombie hits, and the pyro illuminates the top of the ramp. CUTTO a long shot of the ramp from in front of Manson, who looks over his shoulder at Tempesta, who stands at the top of the ramp with his arms spread, drinking in cheers from the crowd. The camera spins around him as he delivers three high kicks in quick succession, then cuts to the bottom of the ramp. Backlit by the pyro, Manson turns to look at the cage once more, this time grinning with all his green teeth visible. Manson walks to the cage and starts to climb.)

CARLTON: "Look at all these lights. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA! How much do you think a light show like this is running the NFW brass? I worry about them and money, since they obviously don't know where to spend what. I mean, come on, Tempesta Del Fuerte is a fifth-rate street brawler with a passel of insidious immigrant migrant workers as his backup squad. What kind of investment can you realistically expect back from this wannabe ... uh ... JEAN-CLAUDE DAM VANNE!"

RICE: "That's Van Damme, and what are you talking about? Tempesta Del Fuerte is a street fighter, a shoot fighter, a technician, a perfectionist and a RENAISSANCE MAN when it comes to fighting styles! He's a true student of the Mixed Martial Arts game, and tonight he's going up against one of the most unpredictable and dangerous men in the world of wrestling, much less the NFW!"

CARLTON: "Just yesterday, I saw him get pushed down by Girl Scouts, AND he has the charisma of a phone book! Tempesta's JUST NOT MONEY! Take it from Calvin Carlton - I'm the ORIGINAL MONEY, and I know talent when I see it!"

RICE: "Well, tell me what we're seeing here!"

(Back at the foot of the ramp, Manson has climbed four or five feet up the cage and jammed his heels into the gaps in the fencing. Facing the ramp, hanging on the cage, his arms are straight out to either side and his head lolls limply on one shoulder, his tongue dangling out. Tempesta stands facing Manson, sneers, and walks away incredulous and disgusted, towards the cage. Manson seems to chuckle)

CARLTON: "It's a Christmas Play?"

RICE: "Michael Manson hanging off the side of the cage like he's been CRUCIFIED there, and Tempesta Del Fuerte wanting NO PART of that nonsense. Manson laughs as he hops down, and Tempesta shaking his head, grimacing as he steps into the ring!"

CARLTON: "Oh sure, he's a master of a million fighting styles, but you know what he doesn't have? A SENSE of HUMOR!"

RICE: "That's because this is NO LAUGHING MATTER! Manson climbing in the ring now, still chuckling to himself - well, I'm glad he's having a good time -"

CARLTON: "Me too, he's been tense lately."

RICE: " ... Chief official Greg Herpin ordering the door - the only entrance or exit from the cage - to be chained and locked shut, he's talking to the competitors, and THERE'S THE BELL! Tempesta wasting no time, he's making a direct line for Manson and LOCKS IN a side-submission hold around Manson's neck, Manson didn't even TRY to defend himself! Tempesta putting in the squeeze, shoring up his leverage, Manson grimacing in pain, he's gasping for air like a fish . . . no, wait, Manson, twisting around and ... now he's smiling? Manson still in that chokehold, Del Fuerte giving it EVERYTHING he's got, practically bending Manson in HALF over his thigh, and Manson smiling like he's sleeping in his Momma's arms!"

CARLTON: "Momma's arms! Momma's arms! Momma's arms! (pause) You know what that was? (pause) The echo."

RICE: "You