UWA 2.0: Random Rumble
Monday, February 24 1997
Philadelphia, PA
UWA RANDOM RUMBLE
To: All Date: 2/24/97
From: LLBK98A Jamar Nicholas Time: 4:34PM ET
(FADEIN: To a black screen. Suddenly, we hear roman-type
horns playing in the background as the famous UWA logo
appears, fire licking off off of the letters! a voice-over
of an announcer declares: "UWA - The leader in professional
wrestling... has RETURNED to glory!")
(CUTTO: An overhead, helicopter shot of the new Corestates
Center, in Philadelphia, PA, night!)
RIDDICK: (V/O) "THE ULTIMATE WRESTLING ALLIANCE! Years ago,
one man had a dream of what a league was SUPPOSED to be
run, and instead of sit back on his thumbs and wish he
could do something about it -- He went out and CHANGED IT!
And what you see now is what years of toil, sweat and blood
made -- The best wrestling promotion to ever see life! And
tonight, we enter our backyard in the brand new CoreStates
Center, right off of Broad Street in south Philly, to crown
a NEW UWA World Champion!We have compiled some of the
hottest rookies and old gaurdsmen coming in for a chance to
be the standard-bearer -- The torch carrier, for the Worlds
biggest party, the UWA... and that's gonna happen right
NOW, as the RANDOM RUMBLE invades the Tri-State Area!
You've been warned, and I hope you've got on your Sunscreen
24,222, because once again... the ONLY way we know how...
UWA is about... to... TURN UHP THUH HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!"
(CUTTO: A long shot of the insides of the jamPACKED
CoreStates Center! On the interview platform stands NEIL
RIDDICK, LAMONT HOLLYWOOD, and ANNE MYSTIC! The crowd howls
as MYSTIC turns around to blow kisses at them, then she
flips them the finger! MYSTIC turns around and laughs as
trash falls just short of the interview platform. RIDDICK
is wearing a black Tuxedo, as H'WOOD wears an all-white
one, and MYSTIC is stunning in a red dress complete with
arm-length gloves and pearls!)
RIDDICK: "HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLO PHIL-A-DELPHIA!
(Crowd pops huge!) And HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLOH WRESTLING FANS!
THIS -- (Motions to the room) IS THE RANDOM RUMBLE! THIS -
IS UWA, THE ONLY WAY IT SHOULD BE -- THE HOTTEST THING ON
THE PLANET! (Bigger pop, then a series of Fireworks go off
around the arena!) I am Neil RIddick, and I am joined
tonight by one of the sports greatest managers ever -- who
also was one half of the world champion Hollywood
Gangsters, with his partner 'Godfather' Paul Tonelli, The
'Manager to The Stars' LAMONT HOLLYWOOD! And you ALL know
who this woman is, either by being an old-time fan of UWA,
or maybe by her mug shot on 'America's Most Wanted' --
(MYSTIC shoots an evil stare at RIDDICK) 'Amorous' ANNE
MYSTIC! (Crowd gets up and applauds for MYSTIC, who is all
teeth!)
MYSTIC: "HELLO DOLLY, it's SOOOO nice to be back... where I
belong! (Laughs) Riddick, Hollyweird -- A lot of things
have changed since two years ago! A lot of things have
transpired in my life.. and If you think ANne Mystic is
going to comeback into the game with a new attitude? A new
lease on life? WELL, YOU CAN FORGET THAT NOISE! (RIDDICK
rolls his eyes) Because THIS is the real deal, my friends,
and you ALL know that you owe me your lives, by some way or
another, and Anne Mystic is gonna stay here until EVERYONE
has suffered!"
RIDDICK: "Well, I'm suffering already! (Laughs from H'WOOD)
Well, after that tirade, Lamont, you have anything to say?"
H'WOOD: "Riddick, This Random Rumble is the biggest deal
going right now! Forget a Superfight, or whatever it's
called, forget a guy sitting in a open cell in Alcatraz for
a week -- The worlds eyes are focised on a UWA ring, and
what we got.. is PURE GOLD!"
RIDDICK: "Can't complain with that, Hollywood! WHat we have
on this plate tonight is a tournament for the Up-for-grabs
UWA World Championships -- one of the MOST prestigious
World titles in wrestling history! And one of those 30 men
may walk out the door tonight with the fact that they have
indeed made history tonight! But before we start, Moose
Bison is at ringside with Commisioner Sullivan! Moose?"
(CUTTO: The ring, where MOOSE BISON is standing next to
COMMISSIONER SULLIVAN, who looks a lot like Darius Rucker
from 'Hootie and the Blowfish' but a lot more polished and
professional. SULLIVAN is wearing a Brioni Tuxedo, and is
smiling like a winner. The crowd is just going nuts in the
background.)
MOOSE: "Thanks Neil, and I am standing here next to
Commissioner Sullivan, and Commish, I just know you're
psyched about tonights card?"
SULLIVAN: "Oh, no doubt, Bullwinkle, and that's just why
I'm out here, to blow your heads up just a little more!
First things first - I had a chat with the championship
committees and the bookers, and they have felt it necessary
to give the Random Rumble FULL coverage on this night, that
they have re-scheduled the Southern Remedy/Toby Handicap
match to the next card after this one -- UWA INTO THE
FIRE, in the UWA'S new homebase - The Palestra in Philly,
PA! (Crowd pops again!) Now, this is no slight to the
tagteam match, we just felt that the Rumble should get top
billing, and as such, that's how it went down! Now, on to
other things. As I'm sure, everybody knows the rules behind
the Random Rumble?"
BISON: "Why don't you remind them?"
SULLIVAN: "The Rumble is a Royal Rumble - style match,
where at two minute intervals, another randomly picked
wrestler will be allowed to enter the ring and participate.
Elimination can occur by pinfall, submission, and yes- over
the top rope, and to the floor elimination. If the man is
still on the apron, he can come back in. The last man
standing in the ring after all 30 men have entered would
recieve the UWA World Championship, right? (BISON nods yes,
curiously) WRONG! (Crowd does a simultaneous 'huh'?)
That's too simple! What I am sanctioning, right now, is
that the last TWO men standing in that ring, will then get
a rest period and go up against each other in a
championship match for the title... a LADDER MATCH! (Crowd
is going off! The camera cuts to a kid with a UWA shirt on
nodding his head, and screaming 'OH YEAAAAAAH!') That's
right! The fans come first in UWA, and whatever we can do
to get them excited is what we're gonna strive for! Now, on
the topic of the Rumble, I wanna talk about the entrants.
Not a lot of fans know exactly who's in this, and I like it
that way! But I know there are a few names NOT in it, Like
Jett Broadway and Troy Windham! (Boos) Now, Jett had failed
to put in his name, so that's HIS loss, and Troy Windham,
regardless of what he tells you, is NOT an employee of UWA,
and to my knowledge, I have NO inkling of 'Showing him the
money' of any kind-- (Just then, 'D'yer Maker' by Led
Zepplin cranks out of the PA, and the room gets up to see
who comes out of the curtain! Seconds later, a BIG, serious
looking JETT BROADWAY lumbers out, amidst huge boos from
the crowd, and starts staring daggers right into the ring!
BROADWAY walks slowly to the ring, stopping to jaw at the
occassional fan, and gets to ringside and starts pointing
at SULLIVAN! SULLIVAN starts to argue back as BROADWAY gets
on the apron, throws one of his huge legs over the top
rope, and enters the ring! BROADWAY is wearing black patent
leather pants and a matching vest, and a four-day beard. He
gets right inbetween BISON and the microphone and sticks a
gloved finger in SULLIVANS face.)
B'WAY: "LOOKIT THIS BULLS[BLEEP!] (Small pop!) Already, and
the MAN is tryin' to Hold Jett Broadway, the man that's
gonna save the F'N universe, DOWN! And I'm in the back,
tying up my boots, and I hear that I'm not in the Rumble?
This thing is all FOR me! You might as well give me the
[BLEEP!]'ing belt right now!" (SULLIVAN picks the mic out
of BISONS hand)
SULLIVAN: "Look, Broadway, I don't know what you were
doing, but you missed the boat! You had your chance to get
on board the bus... but you missed it! (The crowd is
getting up as someone is making their way to ringside!)
(The man starts jogging to the ring and we see who it is
now -- TROY WINDHAM! He's wearing a baggy old-school
Addidas Satin sweatsuit, Cons, and a T-Shirt underneath
with a picture of 'Hong Kong Fooey' in mid-karate chop on
the front! WINDHAM is also smiling evily and carrying a
metal briefcase. BROADWAY is still cackling at SULLIVAN,
and doesn't notice the crowd's cheering, or WINDHAM
climbing in the ring behind him.)
SULLIVAN: "That's right, Broadway, you're just gonna get in
the line with the rest of the 29 men who don't leave with
the Big Platinum tonight, Because I don't bend over for
ANYONE, especially the ones who try and step to me and give
me shade!" (Crowd pops as SULLIVAN just drops the mic to
his side, with a look on his face like he's saying 'Well,
whatcha gonna DO about it?" BROADWAY looks around, but not
behind him, and then grabs BISON's mic arm again.)
B'WAY: "What I'm gonna do... is... since you're trying to
Hold the Broadway Express down already.. is might as well
get my first suspension! (BROADWAY throws BISON aside, and
starts to lunge for SULLIVAN, when WINDHAM spins BROADWAY
around and SMASHES him with the Briefcase! BROADWAY steps
back, stunned, and WINDHAM kicks him in the gut, buckling
him over, grabs him and hits a laser-fast SLACKNIFE
Inverted Swinging DDT! BROADWAY is laid out, as the crowd
goes crazy, and they start throwing up their fists,
chanting, 'SHOW TROY THE MONEY! SHOW TROY THE MONEY!'
WINDHAM steps over BROADWAY, and gets in SULLIVANS face
now. UWA Security is making it's way to the ring now!)
WINDHAM: (Shaking his flipped hair out of his eyes) "Sully,
you look in this briefcase, dude. Look in it. (SULLIVAN
looks down as WINDHAM opens the case to reveal... nothing.
It's empty!) You know what SHOULD be in it? (Chant of 'SHOW
TROY THE MONEY!' starts up again as TROY flips his hair
again and nods, smiling wide.)
SULLIVAN: "Look, Windham, I don't have time for th-"
(WINDHAM runs and jumps on a turnbuckle, and holds up the
open briefcase to the crowd as the chants get louder!
SULLIVAN is getting angry, as he tries to scream over the
chants, but we can't hear him! WINDHAM is now staring down
at the Security guards that are coming to get him, and he
hops down, walks over to BROADWAY who is getting to his
feet, and walks right past him, into the Security convoy.
They escort WINDHAM back up the isle while the chant keeps
going! SULLIVAN is yelling at BISON, as BROADWAY gets to
his feet, holding the back of his neck, and starts kicking
the bottom ropes in disgust! BROADWAY climbs over the top
rope, and runs back up the isle after WINDHAM, screaming
for his head!)
SULLIVAN: (As the chant dies down. He points to the back,
screaming into the mic) "WINDHAM, YOU WANNA SEE SOMETHING?
I'LL SHOW YOU SOMETHING.. NEXT WEEK AT INTO THE FIRE! (Huge
pop!) We have a show to run here, Bullwinkle... Let's START
IT!" (SULLIVAN climbs through the ropes and walks up the
isle. CUTTO: The broadcast booth, where all the announcers
are wearing headphones.)
RIDDICK: "Not even ten minutes into the program and there's
already controversey! Jett Broadway came out here and
demanded the World title, and then Troy Windham, who isn't
even SIGNED to UWA, came out here, clocked Broadway with
the Slacknife, and told Sully to fill his 'case with the
Ben Franklins! Well, do you think Sullivan will... I'm not
gonna say it.."
MYSTIC: "Show Troy the Money? I think so, Riddick. I don't
know much about this guy Sullivan, but he seems like a
solid businessman. Not having Windham here in UWA could be
worse than having him here at all!"
H'WOOD: "I believe that. This kid has been around, but he's
still learning, and the kid's got some serious drive. Sully
knows what he's doing, If he's a polar opposite of that
walking skeleton Everette!"
RIDDICK: "Well, it's time to get it started! RUMBLE-TIME!"
(CUTTO: The ring, where announcer LEE-BABY SIMMS stands in
the ring, physically short wearing his Tuxedo like a tent.)
SIMMS: "HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOH PEOPLE! YOU READY TO GET
HOT? (Pop!) THEN LET'S START IT UHPPPPP! THIS MATCH WILL
HAVE A WINNER! THIS -- IS THE RANDOM RUMBLE! THE RULES ARE
SIMPLE! EVERY TWO MINUTES ANOTHER MAN WILL ENTER THE RING,
UNTIL ALL 30 PARTICIPANTS HAVE BEEN CALLED. ELIMINATION
CAN HAPPEN BY PINFALL, SUBMISSION AND OVER THE TOP ROPE,
AND TO THE FLOOR ELIMINATIONS! THE FINAL TWO MEN STANDING
IN THE RING WILL THEN GET A REST PERIOD, AND FIGHT FOR THE
WORLD TITLE IN A LADDER MATCH LATER ON TONIGHT! NOW FIRST,
THE MAN THAT WAS GIVEN SLOT #1 BY RANDOM ORDER... KEVIN,
'THE STORRRRRRRRRRRRRM' GALL-OOOOOOOOOOOH!" (Crowd gives a
nice pop as GALLO jogs out to the ring wearing
blue-and-gold tightpants! GALLO stops in front of the
camer, thrusts his finger in the shot, and screams, 'YOU...
are gonna see what happens, when the STORM wipes out 29
men, baby! LET'S ROCK!" GALLO then rolls under the bottom
rope and starts criss-crossing the ring, stretching on the
ropes.)
SIMMS: "AND THE NEXT MAN TO BE CALLED... HE WAS AWARDED
SLOT #2 BY RANDOM ORDER... HERE IS 'PRIMETIME'....
EX-AVE-EEEEEEE-ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.... VEE-RILLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!"
(Crowd gets up as VIRILE runs out to ringside and slides
under the ropes, and immediately laces into a surprised
GALLO! SIMMS dives outta the ring as chief Referee Greg
Herpin calls for the bell!)
RIDDICK: "Ladies and Gentlemen, we HAVE arrived! The Rumble
has started, and Kevin 'The Storm' Gallo is getting
pummelled in the ring by Xavier Virile, who I hear was
almost awarded the 1996 Rookie of the Year award?"
H'WOOD: "I think he won it. I wasn't really paying
attention."
RIDDICK: "Xavier Virile putting the boots to a surprised
Kevin Gallo, and Xavier whips The Storm into the ropes -
REVERSAL! Xavier for the ride.. and Gallo with a well
placed dropkick that sends Virile to the mat! Virile back
up, and Gallo with ANOTHER Dropkick! Virile down once more!
Virile scrambles to his feet and Gallo to the well... TOO
MANY TIMES! Virile slapped away the dropkick, and Gallo
goes down! Virile takes the time to get a breather, and he
adjusts his pads, and climbs the buckles! He's sitting on
the top buckle as Gallo gets to his feet...OH MAN! BIG
LARIAT CLOTHESLINE TO KEIN GALLO, and Gallo spins around
and hits the mat hard!"
MYSTIC: "I hear this guys' crazy.. or suicidal or
something? Must be his haircut. I'd be suicidal if my hair
looked like that." (H'WOOD laughs)
RIDDICK: " I don't think he's worried about his locks right
now, Anne, as Virile picks up Gallo, Scoop and a SLAM!
Virile Drops the leg, and goes for a cover. Herpin over NOT
EVEN A ONE COUNT! That was our first pin attempt of the
night! Virile collects Gallo AND GALLO WITH A SURPRISE
BYCICLE-TYPE KICK TO VIRILES CHIN! (Pop!) Gallo is up, and
he's heating up! Gallo picks up Virile, and look.. Viriles
chin has been nicked! He's starting to bleed! Gallo whips
Virile in.... RUNNING KNEE SMASH! Virile did a 360 flip!"
H'WOOD: "3.5. 5.4. 9.6..."
RIDDICK: "Gallo picks Virile up and cinches in a Belly to
Belly Suplex! Theres the attempt! 1... 2.. KICKOUT! Virile
rises up off the mat, and he looks upset! He's screaming at
Gallo "Is that the BEST you got?" Gallo kicks him in the
chest, and Virile repeating himself! Gallo, looking around,
runs off of the ropes, and nails a ShoulderblockNO! Virile
suckered him in and hit a MID-AIR DDT ON GALLO! Gallo laid
out! (We hear the crowd counting down from the clock that's
on the video wall) It's almost time for the next man to
come out! Theres the dinner bell.. who's coming? (CUTTO:
The curtain, where 'DEVILS ADVOCATE' JAVID DONES walks out,
smiling, and with an oh-so-evil glint in his eye!)
(DONES walks out wearing black tightshorts with a white
racing stripe down the side, and is extremely tanned and
buffed. DONES steps up to the camera and whispers something
that we really can't understand, besides the words
'Windham', 'World title', and 'Elegant Booking'! DONES gets
on the apron and enters the ring.)
RIDIDCK: "Javid Dones is in the ring, and he's looking on
as Xavier Virile rolls a stunned Kevin Gallo over for a pin
attempt! Greg Herpin over... 1..2.. NO! Javid Dones just
kicked Virile in the head, and Virile stands up quickly,
and points at Dones! Dones mouthing off to Virile, and
Virile wheels off and nails Dones with a hard right hand!
Dones fires back with a left! Virile with another right!
Dones with a left! (Crowds getting excited!) Virle! Dones!
VIRILE! DONES! VIRILE! Dones with a WICKED kick to the gut,
then he follows up with a Forward Dropkick, that sends
Virile staggering back - WOW! right into a waiting Kevin
Gallo, who just cinched the waist... BEAUTIFUL GERMAN
SUPLEX! Gallo with the perfect bridge... 1....2... DONES
just broke THAT pin up! Dones just kicked Gallo in the
stomach, and that broke the bridge, and the pinfall!"
MYSTIC: "I like this guy!"
H'WOOD: "You would..."
RIDDICK: "Virile getting to his feet, and Dones picks up
Kevin Gallo and whips him innnnnSIDEWALK SLAM! Dones gets
up and makes that 'no sweat' gesture, wiping his forehead
and flicking his hand on Gallos twitching body! Dones not
going for a pin, but meets Virile getting to his feet and
tries to THROW HIM OVER THE SIDE! Virile almost went over
the top, but he caught himself, and is trying to pull
himself back over, and Dones is running in... Virile sees
him, leaps over the top to the apron, and slingshots
himself at Dones and NAILS THE SENTON! Dones is FLAT!
(Crowd gets up and applauds that move as VIRILE coughs
violently) Great move by Primetime Xavier Virile! Gallo
gets up, and is resting in the corner as Virile picks up a
winded Javid Dones, and props him up in the corner! Gallos
in the opposing corner, and Virile runs in and CRUSHES
Gallo with a Big Stinger Splash! Gallo drunkwalks outta the
corner, and Virile hops out and whips Gallo into the
opposing corner RIGHT INTO VIRILE! They both crash right
into each other! Virile looking sharp here in the Random
Rumble, as he smiles at the crowd, like he's enjoying
himself!"
H'WOOD: "He better make it fast, becasue the timers
counting down!"
RIDDICK: "Theres the bell, and here comes KURO HIBATCHI!
(HIBATCHI runs to the ring, wearing all black flowing pants
and a black mask. He slides in the ring, and chooses
VIRILE for his attack! HIBATCHI grabs Virile and whips him
into the ropes fast, and follows him in, and nails a
handspring Elbow smash on Virile as he rebounds! Crowd
pops!)
RIDDICK: "Hibatchi is in, and he's taking it to Xavier
Virile now! Virile is rocked, and Hibatchi props him up...
Hibatchi making those martial arts gestures... WOOOHAH!
Hibatchi just LEVELED Xavier Virile with a shot to the gut,
then followed it up with a Hook Kick to the back of
Viriles' head! Hibatchi looks at the ropes! Hibatchi to the
ropes, springboard OH MY! He twisted in mid air and nailed
Virile with a Cannonball Splash! Dones and Gallo are
untangling themselves, and Hibatchi charges them both with
a double Clothesline BUT GALLO AND DONES GET LOW AND CATCH
HIBATCHI COMING IN... DOUBLE GOOZLE ON THE RING POST!
Hibatchi falls back like he was shot, and staggers around
the ring, Gallo and Dones with the DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!
(Crowd cheers!) Hibatchi down and bleeding, and Virile,
still bleeding, slowly gets to his feet! Dones now forming
some type of alliance with Kevin Gallo, Tells Gallo to go
get Hibatchi and Dones Taps his kneepad, talling him that
they're gonna ram him into it! Gallo walks over... WAIT!"
RIDDICK: "Waitaminute! Kevin Gallo walking over to a
fallen Kuro Hibatchi, and Dones looks at the crowd and we
see that gleam in his eye again... Dones runs over and
wrenches Gallo into the Japanese Sleeper! Gallo trying to
fight it, but Dones is violently throwing him around in the
hold! Gallo falling limp... and GOOD LORD! Dones just
Suplexed Gallo up and OVER, and Gallo just came crashing
down on his head! Gallo is out cold, and Dones pops up to
his feet and screams to the crowd 'Now THAT'S Elegant
Booking!" and covers Gallo! The ref over... 1...2....THREE!
Kevin Gallo is ELIMINATED! What a sneak!" (boos)
MYSTIC: "They don't call him the Devil's Advocate for
nothing!"
RIDDICK: "Dones celebrating a little too early, as Hibatchi
gets to his feet, and nails Dones with a spinnink Kick!
Virile up, and Hibatchi with a spinning kick on Vir-NO!
Virile ducked, and Hibatchi turned himself all the way
around from the kick's momentum, and Virile hooks him in...
INVERTED DDT! Hibatchi hemmoraghing like he's been
Electrocuted, and Virile shows himslef to be quite the
crafty one! Dones getting to his feet, shaking off the
cobwebs, and Virile runs off of the ropes and takes Dones
down with a WICKED Clothesline! Dones BACK down! Virile
looking to end this, he heaves up Hibatchi and SLAMS him
back down! Virile calling for his finisher! Virile grabs
the leg... PRIMETIME PARALYZER ON HIBATCHI! Hibatchi is
screaming in pain, but he hasn't said no! Virile cinching
in the pressure and DONES JUST BROKE THE SUBMISSION! Dones
just kicked Virile in the back, and he just pulled Virile
off of him, and starts running Viriles' eyes across the
third rope! Virile screaming, and Dones rakes the eyes with
his bootlaces, and now nails a BIG BELLY TO BELLY on
Virile! There's the countdown! Theres the bell!"
(ERADICATOR TROY MARTINEZ comes out, to a silent audience.
He jogs down the isle, and slides in the ring.)
H'WOOD: (Laughing) "Who's this schmoe?"
RIDDICK: "That's the Eradicator' Troy Martinez."
MYSTIC: "He's so smart when that sheet's in front of him,
ain't he?"
RIDDICK: "Martinez in the ring, and Dones goes for the
cover, and he gets a two count! Virile gets up slowly, and
he's staring daggers into Dones' head! Virile gets up and
RAMS a knee into Dones' midsection, and ANOTHER! Virile
whips Dones in... RIGHT INTO MARTINEZ! Martinez staggers
over the Top rope and falls to the floor! Martinez is GONE!
(Crowd boos) Dones islooking over the side at Martinez, and
laughs to himself, WATCHOUT! Virile with the HUGE
CLOTHESLINE TAKES BOTH MEN OVER... NO! THEY'RE BOTH HOLDING
ON... FIGHTING! Dones and Virile are upside-down hanging
onto the ropes with one arm, and beating each other in the
head with the other! Kuro Hibatchi is up, and he hits the
ropes, and nails the baseball slide into the necks of both
men, and they crash all over the apron! Virile rolls back
under the ropes, and Javid Dones climbs through the ropes
and stomps over to Hibatchi, who was facing the other
way... spins him around... SINGLE ARM DDT! HE GOT SPIKED!
Dones gets up and picks up Virile... SINGLE ARM DDT ON
VIRILE! Virile bounces like a Superball!"
MYSTIC: (Sarcastically) "This guys on fire."
RIDDICK: "Dones getting Cocky... picks up Virile and Slams
him on top of Hibatchi, and he goes for the cover on BOTH
men! Dones nodding his head with the count.... 1... 2...
BOTH MEN GOT THEIR SHOULDERS UP! (Crowd cheers as DONES
looks shocked!) Dones gets up and admonishes the ref!
Herpin yelling back, and Dones turns around, and picks up
Kuro Hibatchi, and scoops him up, he's walking over to the
ropes and is gonna deposit him.. WAIT! Virile is up and he
Dropkicked Dones in the back, and Dones turned the momentum
into nailing Hibatchi with a POWERSLAM! Dones to his feet,
and Virile with a FIVEARM on Dones! Dones almost lost a
tooth after that move! Virile picks up a stunned Dones,
whips him in... FRANKENVIRIL-NO! DONES HITS THE POWERBOMB!"
RIDDICK: "Xavier Virile is in the hurt locker, and it looks
like Dones hurt himself after that flash move on Virile!"
MYSTIC: "Lookit, Riddick, he's holding his back!"
RIDDICK: "Exactly, Anne, and Dones backs off of Virile, and
walks around the ring, getting the air back!"
H'WOOD: "Watch out for the flying mini-grill!"
RIDDICK: "Hibatchi runs in and NAILS Dones with a flying
splash, sending Dones into the corner hard! Hibatchi wheels
Dones around, and starts LEVELLING him with open hand
chops! (We hear faint 'Whooooo's' in the crowd) MAN! Those
chops sound like gunshots going off!"
MYSTIC: "And in this neighborhood, that's not too far from
the truth!"
RIDDICK: "Hibatchi with another chop for good measure...
picks up The Devil's Advocate and places him on the Top
Rope! Hibatchi screaming to the crowd, and he's following
him up! Dones is groggy, and Hibatchi is up there with him,
balancing! What are we gonna see... Hibatchi throws a hand
in the air! He jumps off OH MAN! HURRICANRANA OFF THE TOP
ROPE! (Crowd pops as HIBATCHI sits on his knees, and does a
bow to the crowd as DONES twitches violently) Javid Dones
is TOAST! Hibatchi to his feet, and he's not finished! He
runs to the ropes, Springboard... MOONSAULT ONTO DONES FOR
THE PIN! Theres the ref... 1....2...ThreKICKOUT! I DON'T
BELIEVE IT!"
MYSTIC: "Neither can I!"
H'WOOD: "Neither can mini-grille!"
RIDDICK: "Kuro Hibatchi gets up, and he's stomps the mat in
disgust... WATCHOUT! VIRILE WITH THE ROLL-UP! The ref
over... 1....2....THREE! Kuro Hibatchi put up a great
fight, but he's eliminated!" (Ref signals that HIBATCHI is
gone!)
MYSTIC: "We haven't seemn the last of this guy.. and it's a
real shame, too!" (H'WOOD laughs as HIBATCHI exits the ring)
RIDDICK: "Theres the timer... and the bell! Here comes...
who is that?"
(ALEX WYLDE runs crazily to the ring, and shoulders past a
dejected HIBATCHI, who goes spinning into the barrier!
WYLDE slides in the ring, and HIBATCHI turns around, with a
disrespected look on his face, and starts moving towards
the ring again!)
H'WOOD: "Looks like the mini-grille found some beef to
cook, huh?"
RIDDICK: "Alex Wylde hits the ring HARD, and starts putting
the boots to both Dones AND Virile! Both men are hurting,
and Alex Wylde taking advantage! Wylde hefts Virile up, and
DOWN with the inverted Atomic Drop! Virile down to the mat!
Wylde picks up Dones.. hes setting him uhp... BUTTERFLY
SUPLEX! PERFECT EXECUTION! (WYLDE pops up to his feet, and
starts strutting as the fans let out a nice pop!)
Javid Dones has been REAL lucky so far, and Xavier
Virile... he's still in this, in physicality, I guess...
Wylde finishes his show, and turns around to grab Virile,
and waitaminute, Kuro Hibatchi is at ringside, and he's
pointing up at Wylde! He's saying something to the tune of
him disrespecting his honor!"
MYSTIC: "Sounds like those hoods outside the arena!"
RIDDICK: "Wylde flips him off, and picks up Virile,
BODYSLAM! Wylde going for something... Wylde running off of
the ropes, criss-crosses, Where-- BASEBALL SLIDE TO THE
OUTSIDE! HE NAILED HIBATCHI RIGHT IN THE CHEST! (The
ringside fans get outta their seats as WYLDE starts
peppering Hibatchi with fast left hands!) Alex Wylde
smiling wide, and picks up a dazed Hibatchi... Whips him
into the post-NO, REVERSAL! Wylde hits the steel! Hibatchi
backs up, and runs at Wylde... GOOD LORD! Hibatchi ran,
jumped on the ringsteps, and just DID A SENTON ONTO ALEX
WYLDE ON THE FLOOR! (Crowd cheers as HIBATCHI gets up and
chucks WYLDE back in the ring by his trunks!) Alex Wylde is
dizzy, and Virile is standing right behind Wylde... Wylde
spins around and gets met with a hard right hand to the
mouth! Wylde turns around, and here comes Javid Dones!
RIDDICK: "Javid Dones rushes Alex Wylde, and Virile gets
down on his hands and knees behind Wylde as DONES NAILS A
WICKED CLOTHESLINE! Wylde outta his boots!"
H'WOOD: "That reminded me of Grade School! We used to do
things like that to kids like you, Riddick!"
RIDDICK: "Uh.. anyway, Alex Wylde isn't faring so well, as
a tired Dones and Xavier Virile continuously put the boots
to Alex Wylde, and he's not looking so hot now! Theres the
timer... and theres the bell! WHo's coming out now? This
kid looks impressive!" (CUTTO: The curtain, where a young,
red-headed man in red tightpants jogs up the isle, slapping
hands, and pumping his fists! 'RED HOT' JASON DRAKE slides
in the ring, and stands with his hands on hips, choosing
his spot!)
H'WOOD: "This Drake kid is the protoge' of the guy that got
a oneway ticket back to loserville a while ago - Kevin
Gallo!"
RIDDICK: "I'm sure that they had a strategy to double up on
their opponents, were they to be in the ring at the same
time, but that's just not gonna happen tonight!"
MYSTIC: "Maybe they'll do it when they try and split a
Hooker at the Best Western tonight, after the card!"
RIDDICK: "Drake shrugs his shoulders, and just runs into
the group! He starts pounding on Virile, DOnes, and throws
a couple of boots to Alex Wylde for effect! Drake picks
Dones up, steadies him... STANDING DROPKICK ROCKS DONES!
Drake up again, and he turns to Virile... ANOTHER STANDING
DROPKICK! Virile staggers back, and 'Red Hot' Jason Drake
runs in and NAILS HOME THE CLOTHESLINE! Virile planted in
the corner! Virile groggy, and Drake picks Primetime up and
tries to throw him over the top, and VIrile is fighting it!
Alex Wylde is to his feet, and He picks up Javid Dones and
does the same, but again, Dones fights it! These young
lions have great reserve!"
H'WOOD: "Well, I don't see any of these shmucks lasting the
whole deal! We ain't even HALFWAY done, and hey, Winston
Steele ain't in it yet! He IS the Messiah of the Mat, and
when he shows up in this thing, all of the ham-and-eggers
can just clock out and go home, baby!"
RIDDICK: "Thats unbiased commentary?"
H'WOOD: "Calls 'em as I sees 'em, Riddick."
RIDDICK: "All the men are struggling to get or to keep from
going over the top rope, and theres the timer again! Theres
the bell!"
(CUTTO: The ring where a HUGE guy comes out from behind the
curtain, wearing all leather, and a leather mask! We know
who he is because he has the words 'DEMOLISHER' written
down the side of his leg! He lumbers down the isle, and
steps over the top rope, and runs right for Virile and
Drake! He grabs both men, and brings them to the middle of
the ring by their throats... Demolisher looks at Virile..
at Drake... He heaves them UHHHHHP AND DOWN, BABY! DOUBLE
CHOKESLAM! (Crowd 'OOOooohs' as Virile and Drake thrash
around the ring, convulsing. In the corner of the camera,
we see a man walking down the isle dressed in a weird
bodysuit, and has silver facepaint! The fans are making
noise as the man starts ducking as he gets near the ring,
like he's hiding from someone!)
MYSTIC: "Who's THIS guy?"
H'WOOD: "That's... MIRROR IMAGE, but wasn't that guy Virile
Mirror Image?"
RIDDICK: "I think your right, Lamont, and He's hiding at
ringside! Demolisher picks up Jason Drake and throws him
into the corner like a sack of flour! In the other corner,
Javid Dones fought off Alex Wylde and now has him hemmed up
in the corner, feeding him a series of Shoulderbutts to the
midsection! Demolisher charges Jason Drake... BIG BOOT!
Drake almost flipped over the top rope on the impact! On
the outside, That... Mirror Image guy.. has flipped up the
ring drpae, and is pulling something out... What's... He's
bringing out two tables! Mirror Image is setting one table
up, and he pulls the other one out and props it up too!"
MYSTIC: "Mental note: talk to the Merchandise department
about printing up some UW F'N' A T-shirts..."
RIDDICK: "Mirror Image has set up both tables, and now he's
going into the folds of his tights and pulls out a wad of
bills! He's waving for Demolishers attention, who now has
gripped Jason Drake up by his throat, and was about to do
something violent with him... and he drags him over to the
ropes! Mirror Image pointing at Virile, and pointing at the
tables, then the money, and I think I know whats going on
here..."
H'WOOD: "Show Demolisher the money!"
RIDDICK: "Demolisher looks at Mirror Image for a second,
then at Drake! He throws Drake across the ring, and picks
up Virile! Virile trying to fight free... but Demolisher
throttles him! Demolisher points to the crowd! Virile
shaking his head 'No'!"
MYSTIC: "OH YES!"
RIDDICK: "Demolisher heaves Virile UHHHHHHHP GOOD GOD!
(Crowd screams!) DEMOLISHER JUST CHOKESLAMMED XAVIER VIRILE
OVER THE TOP ROPE AND INTO THAT TABLE! Viriles laying in
his own blood, and in a pile of splinters! After a long
stay, Xavier Virile is ELIMINATED! Mirror Image gives
Demolisher a thumbs up, and tosses the roll of money up to
Demolisher, who smiles through the mask and starts to count
it... what's that under the first bill? (Quick CUTTO:
DEMOLISHERS hands where he peels off the first twenty of
the roll, to reveal a paper register reciept roll!
DEMOLISHER goes crazy as the crowd laughs, and IMAGE throws
DEMOLISHER a one-finger salute! DEMOLISHER tries to leave
the ring, but DRAKE jumps on his back, and starts beating
him in the side of his neck!)
MYSTIC: "This card... is just getting weirder..."
RIDDICK: "Jason Drake taking it to Demolisher, as he just
got gypped out of a table-spot payoff by Mirror Image, who
just gave the big man a twenty wrapped up in dyed
register reciept tape! And to top it of-- Lookit that! When
Drake jumped on Demolisher, he dropped the money, and
Mirror Image just reached in the ring and grabbed the
twenty back!"
H'WOOD: "Hey! Finders Keepers!" (Laughs)
RIDDICK: "Virile is still out at ringside, and Mirror Image
picks him up and splays him on the other table! Mirror
Image climbs up on the apron... OH MAN! LEGDROP THROUGH THE
TABLE ON VIRILE! Virile is OUT COLD!"
MYSTIC: "This Mirror Image guy has a huge one for Virile,
huh?"
RIDDICK: "The Hardcore fans are loving this, as Mirror
Image slaps his hands together like his work is done, and
he walks back up the isle, slapping the occassional hand!
Here comes the UWA medical team to pick up Virile! Their
putting him on a stretcher! This is horrible!"
H'WOOD: "No Riddick, it's HARDCORE! Remember that word,
we'll be using it a lot, I'm sure."
RIDDICK: "In the ring, Javid Dones just takes a rest as
Drake gets HAMMERED into the corner by Demolisher! Thats a
way to get a man off your back!"
H'WOOD: "Or a monkey."
MYSTIC: "Same difference."
RIDDICK: "Jason Drake is crushed, and Demolisher is looking
around for somebody else to kill! Theres the timer! The
bell sounds, and here comes RAGE O' FIRE!"
H'WOOD: "Or as the guys in the lockerroom like to call him,
'Lack O' Talent!'"
(RAGE runs to the ring, wearing all red, with orange flames
licking up the sides of his boots. RAGE climbs onto the
apron, spins around on the ropes like a man possessed, and
slingshots himself into the ring, does a tumble-roll, and
springs up to pop DEMOLISHER with a Clothesline! DEMOLISHER
staggers back, and RAGE fires another one that has NO
effect!)
RIDDICK: "Rage O' Fire putting it to Demolisher, and I
don't think it's gonna work on the big man!"
RIDDICK: "Rage O' Fire looking at the crowd in horror as
Demolisher just stands in front of Rage, eyes bulging
through that leather mask! This guys a mutant!"
MYSTIC: "Nothing new! Theres about eight or nine in the
closet in the lockerroom! SO if this one goes down, we can
replace him!"
H'WOOD: "Seems like genetic freaks are a dime a dozen
nowadays, eh?"
RIDDICK: "Rage balls up his fists, and he fires a hard
right hand into Demolishers' gut, and Demolisher retaliates
with a huge boot to Rage's gut! Rage buckles under, and
Demolisher grabs the back of the neck... We're gonna see
another Chokeslam... NO! Javid Dones runs over and clobbers
Demolisher with a forearm shiver! That allows Rage to
wrench free, and Dones starts nailing knife-edges to
Demolisher! Jason Drake has recovered, and now he's on the
Top Rope! Drake directing traffic, waving Dones and Rage
outta the way, and Drake jumps on Demolishers neck... WOW!
Drake twisted Demolisher's head like a screw, and came down
and over with a Hurricanrana! Demolisher is DOWN, and
lookit this! (Crowd laughs) All four men jump on Demolisher
for the pin! The ref just staring at the men pile up on
Demolisher, and he just shakes his head!"
MYSTIC: "Well, count the pin!"
RIDDICK: "The four guys start arguing with each other, and
Dones pushes Drake, Alex Wylde shoves Drake, and Rage NAILS
Dones with a hard discus punch! Dones goes flying, and
falls through the second ropes and down to the floor! Dones
holding his jaw, and Rage steps through the ropes and down
to meet the 'Devils Advocate'! Alex Wylde now spins Drake
around, and Whips him into the ropes... Alex Wylde runs
towards the opposite ropes, rebounds Big Clothesline-NO!
Drake ducks it, and hits the ropes... Springboard... Into a
no-look ELBOW SMASH! WOW! (Crowd pops as DRAKE lays on his
back, breathing hard, and WYLDE holds his face, heaving) We
are seeing the young stars shine tonight, as 'Red Hot'
Jason Drake lives up to his name!"
H'WOOD: "Well, Demolisher is back up!"
RIDDICK: "Drake getting to his feet, and Demolisher is
waiting! Demolisher grabs Drake and throws him into the
ropesssssBIG BOOT! Did you SEE that kids neck snap back?
Drake is down, and Now Demolisher is picking up Alex Wylde,
and NO! Wylde goes for the schoolboy, and Demolisher won't
sell! Demolisher and Wylde fumble for a hold, and
Demolisher wins it by grabbing the kid by his throat! Wylde
shaking in defiance... CHOKESLAM RIGHT ONTO JASON DRAKE!
Demolisher about to pin both men, and what the heck... He's
pointing to the top rope!"
MYSTIC: "Oh sure, every 900 pound guy does Moonsaults now!
Didn't you read the manual?"
RIDDICK: "On the outside, Javid Dones is trying to fight
off Rage O' Fire, who has Dones pinned against the steel
barrier, and is repeatedly kicking the young lion in the
ribs! Javid Dones has been in there quite a long time, and
it's starting to show! Demolisher is walking over to the
top rope... and there's the timer! The bell! Here comes
ELDORADO! (Decent pop as ELDORADO runs top speed to the
ring! He slides in, and as Demolisher was climbing the top
rope, ELDORADO hits the ring and starts shaking the ropes,
and the big man loses his balance!) Eldorado is in this,
and Demolisher just lost his bearings, and now he's
straddling the top rope! Eldorado points to the crowd as
like he's saying... 'Watch THIS!'"
MYSTIC: "I'm watching! I'm watching!"
RIDDICK: "Eldorado climbs the first buckle, and smashes
Demolisher with a hard right hand! He's climbing the second
ropes, holding Demolishers' arm for leverage.. I guess...
What the h- Eldorado climbs to the top buckle, and he's
sidestepping onto the third rope, still holding
Demolishers' arm... EldoradooooOELDORADO JUST DROPKICKED
DEMOLISHER FROM THE THIRD ROPE, AND DEMOLISHER JUST WENT
OVER THE SIDE! (HUGE Pop!) DEMOLISHER IS GONE, BAH-BEY!"
(Crowd is going crazy as ELDORADO talks some smack to
DEMOLISHER, who is going postal at ringside, kicking and
punching the ringpost in disgust!)
RIDDICK: "Demolisher is not a happy camper right now, as
Eldorado shows up and eliminates him quickly! On the
outside, Rage O' Fire picks up Javid Dones, and SLAMS him
down hard to the concrete!"
MYSTIC: "This is UWA, boobie! There's no pretty blue high
school mats down there! Thats' hard concrete!"
RIDDICK: "Rage O' Fire calling for a chair, and some fan
graciously hands him one! Rage folds it up, and CRACKS
Dones over the head with it! Dones goes down like a shot,
and Rage throws the chair over his shoulder, and it lands
on the apron. Rage picks up Dones again, and goes to chuck
him in, but watchout! Eldorado is in the ring, and he's
making moves... Eldorado runs... hits the ropes... PLANCHA
ON BOTH MEN THROUGH THE MIDDLE ROPES! (Crowd is taking a
warming to ELDORADO, letting off more cheers!) Rage is
DOWN, and Dones spins around, rolls his eys back into his
head and falls on his face! Eldorado is pumped, and he's
slapping hands at ringside!"
H'WOOD: "Gimme a break!"
RIDDICK: "Eldorado grabs the steel chair and props it open!
He looks at Rage for a second... and he turns the chair
around to face the other direction! What's he up to?
Eldorado whips a groggy Rage O' Fire the short length
of the ring, and RAGE HITS HARD! Eldorado backing up,
adjusting the pads... Eldorado runs, hits the chair,
WOW! SPINNING LEG KICK RIGHT TO THE CHEST OF RAGE O' FIRE,
AND BOTH MEN TUMBLE OVER THE RAILING AND INTO THE CROWD!"
(Quick CUTTO: Both men laying down, breathing hard, as fans
pat ELDORADO on the back for the spot)
H'WOOD: "He almost beheaded Lack O' Talent!"
RIDDICK: "In the ring, Alex Wylde is trying to get to his
feet, but his leg keeps giving out! Jason Drake is getting
up too, and these kids took a serious whipping from
Demolisher before he was eliminated, and they're feeling it
now! Alex Wylde picks up Jason Drake, SCOOP and a slam!
Wylde is going to the top rope, and he's balancing... FROG
SPLASH! Drake couldn't even TRY to move! Outside the ring,
Javid Dones is up, kind of, and he's stolen Eldorado's
chair, and rolled into the ring with it! There's no rules
about foreign obkects in Random Rumble, so he could use it
inside the ring if he wanted to!"
MYSTIC: "I gather thats why he brought it in the ring,
genius! I doubt he was gonna use it to take a sit!"
RIDDICK: "The ref is over for the pin.. 1...2... OH MAN!
(SFX: A wicked smack!) Javid Dones just BLASTED Alex Wylde
with that steel chair, and Wylde pops off of Drake in a
voilent jolt! Dones spits at the crowd, and moves the ref
out of his way, as Dones props open the chair! Dones
limp-walking quick, picks up Alex Wylde cinches him in,
holds out the arm... SINGLE ARM DDT ON THE CHAIR! Wylde
goes down hard! Dones kicks the chair outta his way and
drops down for the cover! Hooks the leg... 1...2....THREE!
Alex Wylde is GONE! (Ref motions that WYLDE was eliminated)
Javid Dones is defying the laws right now, as he pulls up
Jason Drake, and he whips him into the ropes NO! Reversal
by Drake! Dones into the ropesssssAnd DRAKE LOCKS ON THE
SLEEPER AS DONES WENT BY! (Crowd cheers!) Dones immediately
drops to his knees, and Drakes chin just had a meeting with
Done's head! Drake staggers back and leans on the ropes,
and lookit, Drakes bleeding from the mouth! He must've bit
his toungue!"
MYSTIC: "What a waste!"
RIDDICK: "Dones doesn't even know where he is, he's so
tired, and he just drunk-walks around the ring, and falls
on his face! On the outside, Eldorado has finally come
outta the front row, and he's dragging Rage O' Fire with
him! Eldorado chucks Rage into the ring, and Eldorado spots
Javid Dones splayed out, and now Eldorado hops on the apron
and grabs the ropes, SLINGSHOT LEGDROP ON DONES! Cover! 1.."
RIDDICK: (CTD) "...2....THRE-NO! Referee Greg Herpin taps
Eldorado on the back, and he points to the ropes!"
MYSTIC: "I don't believe that Dones got his foot on the
rope!"
RIDDICK: "Eldorado gets up, and he leaves Dones alone, and
sees Jason Drake propped up on the ropes... Eldorado runs
at DrakeNO! Drake dug down, grabbed Eldorado, and hits the
backbody drop NO! ELDORADO ALMOST GOT OVER THE SHOULDER,
BUT DRAKE SPUN AROUND AND NAILED A HOTSHOT-TYPE MOVE ON
ELDORADO! Eldorado bounces back, stunned, and Drake roars
in with a Clothesline! Theres the timer! Belltime! Woooah
MAN! (Crowd gets up and gets crazy as the curtains part and
'UNBELIEVABLE' NATHAN STORM runs out, wearing all white
Gymnastics pants and tank, with a green racing stripe going
up one leg! STORM is also carrying a dented bucket, that
he puts at ringside as he climbs the apron.) Storm hits the
ring, and runs up the top rope like a cat, and perches
there! Storm looking over the ring, and Jason Drake spins
around, looking for someone to fight, and STORM BRINGS THE
FIGHT TO HIM! Storm caught Drake right in the mush with a
TR Dropkick, and Drake almost went over the top! Storm
picks Drake up, and whips him in... Storm has hands up...
Handspring ELBOW SHOT! Drakes in another time zone, and
Storm is hot! Storm slides outta the ring, and he's going
under the ring for something! By the way, whats in that
bucket Storm brought to ringside? (Quick CUTTO: The bucket,
which has a whole bunch of fish in it! We hear RIDDICK
laughing in the V/O) HA! that looks like.. Smelt!"
H'WOOD: "I guess thats for the Seal that crashes through
the tables!"
RIDDICK: "Nathan Storm has found a mess of tables, and I
think he may have requested them for the Rumble, and he
peels one out and starts shooing the fans away from
ringside as Storm picks it up! Storms' trying to prop it up
on the apron and the ring barrier, making a ramp..."
MYSTIC: "Look up there!"
RIDDICK: "Eldorado, Dones and Drake are all up, and
grappling with each other right over Storm on the floor!
Storm looks over the shoulder, and he pulls the table off
of the apron, and grabs it by the bottom.. Storm is
carrying the table by the bottom, standing it straight up
in the airrrRRRRROH MY GOD! (Crowd blows up!) NATHAN STORM
SUPLEXED THAT TABLE UP AND OVER THE ROPES! IT HIT THE THRID
ROPE, FLIPPED OVER AND IT JUST NAILED ALL THREE MEN IN
THE RING! ALL THREE MEN ARE DOWN, AND UNDER THE TABLE!
WOW!" (The fans are going nuts!)
MYSTIC: "Fans, don't forget to call 1-800-UWAHEAT for this
tape in a few weeks!"
RIDDICK: "Nathan Storm looked like he had something else in
mind, but found a better use for that table! All three men
are down and out, still trapped under that table, and
Nathan Storm gets on the apron, and climbs up... No he is
NOT... NATHAN STORM LEGDROPS THE TABLE, AND HE BREAKS IT!
Those guys HAVE to be hurting!"
H'WOOD: "If they're not dead yet!"
RIDDICK: "Nathan Storm clears the debris away, and picks up
Jason Drake and THROWS HIM OVER THE TOP! Jason Drake put up
a great fight, but he's been ELIMINATED! (Crowd pops for
DRAKE for a good effort.) Storm collects Rage O' Fire, and
tries to throw him over the side, but Rage does a sloppy
reversal and whips Storm into Eldorado, who crash into each
other! Rage is bleeding now, and staggers back and forth in
the ring, and just falls to his knees! Javid Dones isnt
even MOVING!"
H'WOOD: "This kids got something in him... maybe it's
stupidity!"
RIDDICK: "Eldorado gets up, and his knees are wobbly, but
he grabs Nathan Storm by his hair and pops him in the mouth
with a right hand! Storm goes down! Eldorado picks Storm up
again, and Eldorado with another pop to the mush NO! Storm
blocks it - And he hooks the arm, and spins it around...
BACKSLIDE! 1...2...NO! Eldorado pops out! THAT was close!"
RIDDICK: "'Unbelievable' Nathan Storm is living up to his
name right now, as he almost had Eldorado in a pinning
predicament, that he just BARELY got out of!"
MYSTIC: "I'm still marking out over that table Suplex-spot!"
RIDDICK: "Anne, we all know your history with <> X
members.."
MYSTIC: "DON'T you GO THERE, RIDDICK!"
RIDDICK: "Theres the bell! The crowd has counted down, and
here comes the HELLION!" (Crowd gives nice pop as HELLION
hits the ring, and starts lacing into STORM)
MYSTIC: "Looks like Hellion doesnt like Storm too much!"
RIDDICK: "Hellion putting the boots to Nathan Storm, and
Eldorado gets up and spins Hellion around and puts a finger
in his face!"
MYSTIC: "He's saying that Storm is HIS!"
H'WOOD: "If thats what yer into..."
RIDDICK: "I don't think that's what he meant, Lamont, but
now Eldorado and Hellion are trading right hands! And Rage
O' Fire is sneaking up to the top rope, and Javid Dones is
up finally, and he staggers around, and falls into the
ropes, knocking Rage O' Fire off balance! Rage O' Fire
loses his footing, and straddles the third rope! Dones
blinking quickly... he runs in and Clotheslines Rage off
the third rope and RAGE GOES OUT! What luck by Javid Dones!"
MYSTIC: "Looks more like cherry-picking to me!"
RIDDICK: "Nathan Storm is up, and he sees Javid Dones in
the corner, and Storm walks up and spins him around, HUGE
RIGHT HAND UNDER THE CHIN OF DONES! Dones almost flew over
the top rope! Storm with another! Another! ANOTHER! Dones
getting ROCKED! Hellion and Eldorado still going at it, and
Hellion with the upper hand, whips Eldorado into the
corner, and comes rushing innnnnnBIG AVALANCHE! Eldorado
high stepping outta the corner, and Hellion just shoved him
to the mat by the back of his neck! Hellion grabs the ropes
and pulls himself up to the top buckle, and he DROPS the
elbow on Eldorado! Nathan Storm picks up Javid Dones, and
whips him into the far corner, and Dones hits with
AUTHORITY! Dones propped up in the corner... Storm turns
aound... The hands go up... Handspring... CARTWHEEL,
Another Handspring into a WICKED ELBOW! Dones falls flat!
Storm drags Javid Dones by his leg a few feet, and adjusts
his pants! Storms' going up! Storm... GOOD LORD! SHOOTING
STAR PRESS ON JAVID DONES! (Crowd gets up and applauds as
STORM gets up, and pumps his fist to the crowd! Storm runs
to the ropes, SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULTNOOOOO! STORM TOOK TOO
MUCH! Javid Dones took his last piece of strength to get
the knees up! Nathan Storm is hurting, and Dones rolls to
the outside and falls right on his butt on the concrete!
He's not eliminated, but he's outta the ring!"
H'WOOD: "This guy... is just lucky."
RIDDICK: "Hellion still on Eldorado, grabs the legs, and
falls back into a modified STF and Eldorado is screaming in
pain!"
MYSTIC: "That looks like it hurts!"
RIDDICK: "Hellion faring well, and Nathan Storm is up and
clearing the cobwebs... And waitaminute, who's that coming
to ringside NOW?" (Crowd gets up and starts chanting 'SHOW
TROY THE MONEY! SHOW TROY THE MONEY!' TROY WINDHAM runs
down the isle in the same gear he was in earlier, and now
he's got a Verso Headband on his forehead!) What is he
doing back out here? Troy Windham out here stalking Javid
Dones! Troy walks over to Dones, who's semi-concious, and
he picks The Devil's Advocate up, and dusts him off! He
turns him to the crowd, and raises his hand like a winner,
and then LAYS HIM OUT WITH THE SLACKNIFE! Dones isn't
moving, but his right leg is twitching like he just got
electrocuted!"
MYSTIC: "Lookit! Here comes security!"
RIDDICK: "He must've heard you, because Troy sees them, and
hops the railing, and starts making his way through the
crowd! Security is chasing Troy Windham through the crowd
and the fans are eating it up! That chant is deafening!"
(During the WINDHAM run-in, DON DIEGO came out for the
Rumble and slid in the ring.)
RIDDICK: "Troy Windham has this UWA crowd rocking tonight,
and he's not even in the Rumble!"
H'WOOD: "These idiots eat McDonald's food! They wouldn't
know class if it bit 'em in the neck!"
RIDDICK: "Javid Dones is out cold, and who's this... It's
KARI DONES! Kari is Javid's wife, and she's running down
the isle to come check on her man! (KARI runs to ringside,
and starts patting JAVID on the back, and kissing his face.)
What devotion by Kari Dones out there!" (crowd makes noise.)
MYSTIC: "HEY! Who does she think she is? I'm the head chick
around here! Nobody wolf-whistles at ANYBODY around here if
it ain't me they're wolf-whistling at!"
RIDDICK: "Kari Dones is helping Javid to his feet, and
she's helping him back to the dressing room! But he wasn't
eliminated!"
H'WOOD: "I don't think she cares!"
RIDDICK: "Waitaminute, in the ring, Don Diego has hooked it
up with Hellion, after busting up his STF on Eldorado, and
just nailed him with a BEAUTIFUL Belly to Back
Suplex! Nathan Storm has propped up that chair thats still
in the ring, and stands up Eldorado... Nathan Storm hits
the ropes, Hits the chairrrrrHITS THE THIRD ROPE...
SPRINGBOARD.... TOPE' ONTO ELDORADO! Eldorado is out of it,
and Storm is showing the world that the UWA is where the
HOT new talent will be raised! Outside the ring, Javid was
almost at the curtain, and he's telling Kari that he's not
finished yet, and he points at the ring! Kari getting mad,
and saying things we can't repeat here..."
MYSTIC: "If this was that Double A-something league, you
could play it..."
RIDDICK: "Kari spitting mad, and she hands Javid something
and Javid kisses her on the cheek, and he limp-runs back to
ringside! He's on his thrid wind, and I think he's packing
now! Kari walks back to the dressing rooms!"
MYSTIC: (Coolly) "I knew that a while ago..."
RIDDICK: "Dones slides back in the ring, and he spins
Hellion around, MAN! He just blasted Hellion in the chops
with taped Brass Knuckles, and Hellion goes down like a
shot! Don Diego turns around, and Dones cracks Diego too!
Nathan Storm standing off, pointing at Dones and his
knucks, and he's telling him to take 'em off and fight
Storm like a man!"
H'WOOD: "Don't do it! Fight him like a cheating man!"
RIDDICK: "Dones looks at Storm, and he says OK and stuffs
the knucks in his ringshorts, and wait! Storm grabs that
steel chair, folds it up and tosses it at Dones! Dones
catches the chair AND STORM JUST DROPKICKED IT RIGHT INTO
DONES FACE! Dones goes down, and Nathan Storm runs over for
the cover! 1....2.....THREE NO! Hellion got up and just
ripped Storm off of Dones! Dones escaped again! Hellion has
Storm by the throat... we're gonna see the Chokslam! What's
Dones doing?" (DONES, bleeding now, takes the knucks outta
his trunks and crawls over on all fours and NAILS HELLION
in the nuts with the brass knucks! the crowd 'Ooooooh's' in
pain as HELLION'S eyes cross!)
H'WOOD: "I... have NOTHING to say."
RIDDICK: "Uh... that was... HARDCORE, for lack of a better
phrase... and Hellion is down, and for good reason! Nathan
Storm looks down, and DONES crotches Storm with a forearm
shot to Storms crotch! Storm screaming, and I think Javid
Dones has gone into 'heartless fiend' mode! Dones is up,
and he locks Storm in the Japanese Sleeper!"
MYSTIC: "For the laymen out there, that's a Million Dollar
Dream!"
RIDDICK: "Thank you, Anne... Storm trying to fight it...
BOOM! Dones nails 'Elegance' on Nathan Storm! Storm crashes
to the mat, and Dones drops to his knees for the cover!
Theres the cover... 1....2....ELDORADO just BLASTED DONES
IN THE HEAD WITH THAT CHAIR! Storm looks bad, and Dones
looks worse! Don Diego runs up... AND GETS BLASTED! OUCH!"
RIDDICK: "Theres the countdown, and there's the bell! Woah,
that guy is huge... and what's he carrying?" (CUTTO: The
curtain, where a huge man with a nappy beard and long,
dirty black hair lumbers to the ring carrying a safety arm
across his shoulders! The guy has on a blue uniform, and a
orange Day-Glo safety vest that has 'PA Turnpike Authority'
patches on it! The guy drops the safety arm off on the
apron, and climbs over the top rope! The crowd laughs as
the guy can't get over the rope!)
H'WOOD: "Your serious, right?"
RIDDICK: "I think this guy's name is Tollbooth, and he
hails from Booth #224 on the PA turnpike!"
MYSTIC: "Great, just great."
RIDDICK: "Tollbooth gets in the ring, and he stomps over to
Hellion, and chucks him over the top rope... BUT HE DOESN'T
GO OVER! Tollbooth picks up Don Diego and whips him into
the ropes.... reversal-RE-REVERSAL! Diego innnnTOLLBOOTH
WITH THE SIDEWALK SLAM!"
H'WOOD: "Says here that he calls that move, 'Exact Change!'
Exact Change... That's pretty good."
RIDDICK: "Diego is out, and Tollbooth grabs Hellion by his
tights, turns him around and Scoop AND a slam! He's
standing over him... COBRA CLUTCH!"
MYSTIC: "That's the Noogie of Doom, Riddick!"
RIDDICK: "Hellion screaming, and Javid Dones drops to his
knees and covers Hellion! 1...2...NOPE! Nathan Storm ripped
Dones off of Hellion, and Storm just dropkicked Dones into
the ropes...NO! DONES Flipped over the ropes, and back in,
and he's tied up in the ropes! He can't move! Hellion is
fading fast, and Eldorado moves over to Dones with that
chair! Eldorado smiles evily, as Dones weakly shakes his
head 'no'! Eldorado backs up, gets a running start and
DENTS THAT CHAIR IN HALF ON DONES' HEAD! The blood is
pouring down Javid Dones' face! Eldorado hauls back to nail
him again AND NATHAN STORM DROPKICKS THE CHAIR WHILE IT WAS
COCKED BACK, AND ELDORADO GOES CRASHING INTO DONES,
RELEASING HIM! Eldorado spins around, and tries to nail
Storm with the chair, but Storm sidesteps it, nails
Eldorado in the gut with an elbow, and NAILS A ROCKER
DROPPER ON THE CHAIR! Eldorado is toasted, and heres the
bell again! (The crowd gets up as a tanned CARlOS CANYETA
jogs to the ring wearing all white, and looking serious.)
Canyeta is here, and he stands on the apron and points at
Storm, who walks over to the ropes and motions to the mat,
stepping back, like he's inviting him into the ring!
Canyeta cautiously gets into the ring and Storm and Canyeta
butt chests, talking smack!"
MYSTIC: "Theres been a core group of very vocal guys that
found out that they don't like each other; Storm, Canyeta,
Steele and Jett Broadway the main ones! This is the first
flare-up here at Random Rumble!"
RIDDICK: "Hellion lets go of the Noog--The Cobra Clutch,
and Hellion falls out! No submission there, but he weakened
up Hellion quite a bit! Tollbooth picks up Hellion, and he
makes some gestures... He whips him innnnnEXACT CHANGE!
Tollbooth drops down and hooks the leg... 1...2...THREE!
Hellion is eliminated! Canyeta and Storm start smashing
each other with right hands, and Eldorado finally gets up
to his feet, and Tollbooth is right there! Tollbooth whips
Eldorado in and Dones gets up and gets smacked by Eldorado!
Dones falls outta the ring again! He lands in that table
debris at ringside! Don Diego with a wicked Clothesline
that takes Eldorado up and ooooHHHH! BOTH MEN GO OVER!
ELDORADO AND DON DIEGO ARE GONE!" (Crowd pops!)
MYSTIC: "Well, they got their dollars worth..."
RIDDICK: "Dones staggers up and grabs Eldorado at
ringside... Japanese Sleeper... ELEGANCE INTO THE STEEL
BARRIER!! That was uncalled for! Dones spits on Eldorado,
and screams to his face 'THAT'S Elegant booking!' What is
that supposed to mean?"
H'WOOD: "Uh nuhh..."
RIDDICK: "Tollbooth starts lumbering towards Storm! LOOKOUT!
RIDDICK: "Tollbooth has run over and broken up the little
tea party between Storm and 'The man with Razor hands'
Carlos Canyeta, and Tollbooth has both men by their hair.."
H'WOOD: "Looks like Canyeta paid a lot for his do... Looks
like Storm got his from the Hair Cuttery!"
MYSTIC: "Hey, everyday, just 10$ for a cut and a perm!"
RIDDICK: (Laughing) "Tollbooth screaming to the crowd! He's
gonna run 'em together! Canyeta and Storm looking at each
otherrrrrCanyeta and Storm both nail Tollbooth in the gut
with Elbow shots! Both men grab Tollbooth by the neck..
DOUBLE DIAMOND CUTTER! (Crowd pops as TOLLBOOTH gets layed
flat) Both Canyeta and Storm celebrating by themselves, and
they turn around and bump into each other - THEY'RE GOING
TO WAR! That truce was short-lived! Storm and Canyeta
rolling around on the mat, lacing into each other! Outside
the ring, UWA officials have cleared away Don Diego and
Eldorado, and Dones is still crawling around ringside,
breathing hard, but still alive! He's been in that ring a
little over half an hour, but WHAT a half an hour it's
been! This is no regular match here, this is RANDOM RUMBLE,
where only the strong survive!"
MYSTIC: "And the over, too!"
RIDDICK: "Kayfabe, Anne, Kayfabe. Javid Dones grabs the
apron drape and is pulling himself up to a vertical base
with it, and he's limping over to the stairs! Dones spots
that large woden plank that Tollbooth brought to ringside,
and he picks it up, and shoves it in the ring through the
second rope! Dones staggering on the apron, And on the
inside, Storm and Canyeta finally break it up, and Storm is
in control! Storm whips Canyeta in hard, and Canyeta comes
in, Storm with the dropdown, and Dones leans on the ropes,
still on the apron, and his eyes roll back in his head and
he collapsessOH GOOD LORD! (Crowd is going crazy!) JAVID
DONES COLLAPSED ON THE APRON, AND AS HE FELL, HE HIT THAT
BOARD THAT WAS TEETERING ON THE SECOND ROPE, AND IT FLEW UP
AND SMACKED CANYETA RIGHT IN THE CHIN! Canyeta is down, and
these fans are on their feet, and baby, they are givng the
UWA the well-needed applause we deserve! Look at those
workers out there!"
H'WOOD: "Yeah, but is Dones alive?"
RIDDICK: "Javid Dones is laying on the apron, kicking the
mat with his right foot, arm hanging over the side, and if
you remember, he was the THIRD man in this thing, and he's
still in there! Wait, theres the bell! Who's next to come
in?" (CUTTO: "The Curtain, where ALEX ROCHE comes walking
out, slapping hands! He points at the camera, then points
to his midsection, then pantomimes the belt around his
waist! ROCHE gets on the apron and climbs in!)
RIDDICK: "Alex Roche, and thats pronounced 'Rock', I
believe... Is in the ring, and Carlos Canyeta isn't moving
after that spot with the striped safety arm, and Nathan
Storm pulls that board all the way into the ring! The crowd
is cheering, because we know SOMETHING'S gonna happen here!
Alex Roche picking up Carlos Canyeta, and NATHAN STORM JUST
SMACKED ROCHE IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH THAT PLANK!
ROCHE GOES DOWN! Storm takes the plank and props it up on a
corner of the ring, so it's balanced on the third ropes,
and Storm picks up Roche and grabs his arms, and FALLS
BACK! ROCHE GETS CATAPAULTED INTO THE PLANK AND NAILS IT
WITH HIS FACE! Roche hit, and he bounces back, and staggers
around the ring, Carlos Canyeta with the Clothesline!
Canyeta is bleeding, but he's still in it! Alex Roche yet
to show an offense in here, he's stuck in the middle of
this war between Canyeta and Storm! The referee is pulling
that board out of the ring, and Javid Dones finally gets
up, and rolls under the bottom rope into the ring! Alex
Roche getting up, and Storm and Canyeta turn their
attention to each other, and grapple into a corner! Alex
Roche sees Javid Dones, and picks him up! Dones just
teetering, and he puts a hand up, like he wants him to give
him a second to catch his breath! Dones with his hands on
his knees, breathing hard, blood all over his body!"
RIDDICK: "Alex Roche looks at the crowd, and he kinda of
shrugs his shoulders, and watchout! Dones was going in his
tights and pulled out a bag of powder! Alex Roche gets
DUSTED! (Crowd boos DONES hard now!) Alex Roche, the young
upstart, blinded, and swinging on air! Javid Dones whirls
him around in the cloud of powder, and hooks in the
Japanese Sleeper! Alex Roche with a lotta reserve, is
fighting it... Fighting it, TOOLATE! DONES NAILS ELEGANCE!
Alex Roche just got dumped on his head, and Dones drops
down, and hooks the leg... AND HE'S GOT BOTH FEET ON THE
ROPES! The ref is over... 1...2...THREE! COME ON!" (Crowd
boos Dones now, and DONES couldn't care less!)
MYSTIC: "I like the way he works it..."
H'WOOD: "Don't look at me, Mystic, I am NOT saying it!"
RIDDICK: "Javid Dones is showing why he's the Devils'
Advocate in this thing, and Theres the bell! Who's coming-
HO-HO MANNN! HELOOOOOH! (Crowd gets up and cheers as FLYING
LEMONHEAD runs to the ring, nodding his head in a rhythm!
He's wearing all yellow, and has the downlow doorag almost
covering his eyes! LEMONHEAD gets on the apron, and shakes
his knees, and nods his head!)
H'WOOD: "THEY RE-HIRED THAT CLOWN?!"
RIDDICK: "Oh YEAAAAH! The Lemonhead is here, and listen to
this crowd go off!"
MYSTIC: "But he's a JOBBER, for chrissakes!"
RIDDICK: "Commissioner Sullivan said that the Rumble was
open to anybody, Anne, so even you coulda put the tights on
and got in there!"
H'WOOD: "I'd buy THAT for a dollar! Mrrrow! OW!"
MYSTIC: "Don't you EVER..."
RIDDICK: "The Flying Lemonhead in, and he picks up Dones,
and dusts him off... You know that these two are allies in
some off-color angle in another league, and even though
they're not bringing that jazz to UWA, I guess they still
are friends! Dones looks ok now, and Lemonhead pats him on
the back, and raises his hand like a winnerNO! DONES WRAPS
LEMONHEAD IN.... ELEGANCE! Lemonhead was CRUSHED! Dones
picks up Lemonhead and chucks him over the side! I don't
believe that! (Crowd boos as DONES looks at LEMONHEAD and
shrugs his shoulders like he had no choice!) Javid Dones is
evil!"
H'WOOD: "No, Javid Dones is trying to win!"
RIDDICK: "Don't forget about Tollbooth! While all the other
action was going on, Tollbooth is back to his feet, and he
starts after Javid Dones, who sees him coming and rolls
outta the ring! Wait a second, look whos' coming! It's
Commissioner Sullivan! (SULLIVAN walks briskly to the ring,
and taps DONES on the shoulder! DONES turns around and
balls up his fist, but drops it when he sees who it is!
SULLIVAN starts yelling at DONES about something, and he
points up at the ring, and DONES crawls back up on the
apron!)
MYSTIC: "I think Sully told Dones to get in that ring and
STAY in it!"
RIDDICK: "Commissioner Sullivan being a fair man, and not
letting Dones get rest periods on the floor! Dones glares
back at Sullivan, who waves his hands at him, like he's
saying, 'go on, get in there!' Dones crawls back in the
ring and starts backing up from big, bad Tollbooth!"
MYSTIC: "Theres the bell already!"
RIDDICK: "You're right, and here comes BLACK SAGE!" (SAGE
hits the ringside area wearing a paramilitary type outfit,
with a Lee Marvin black sweater! SAGE rips the sweater off
and throws it into the crowd, and slides in the ring and
wheels STORM around and starts laying VISCIOUS boots into
him!)
MYSTIC: "This guy is creepy!"
RIDDICK: "Black Sage laying into Nathan Storm, and Carlos
Canyeta diverts his attention elsewhere! Canyeta runs up
and jumps on Tollbooths back, as he was heading for Javid
Dones! Dones looking for an escape route, goes for the
ropes, but Sullivan is right there! Dones ain't leaving!"
RIDDICK: "Javid Dones almost got manhandled, but Carlos
Canyeta jumped on the big highway workers' back, and is
beating him up! Dones runs out of the corner, and runs over
to Black Sage, who I may add, is built like a Sherman Tank!"
MYSTIC: "At least he's not built like Sherman Hemsley!"
(Laughs)
RIDDICK: "Black Sage has Nathan Storm in the corner, and
sage is choking Storm down, and trying to get him outta the
ring! He's trying to throw his leg over the top rope, but
Storm keeps fighting back! Javid Dones wheels Sage around
and kicks him in the midsection - IT HAD NO EFFECT! Dones
does it again.. NOTHING! Dones backs up, hands in
supplication NO WAY! No pause for the weak! Black Sage just
ripped Dones' head off with a Clothesline, and Dones goes
inside out! In the other corner, Tollbooth throws Canyeta
off, and turns around to get met by a-OH GOOD LORD! (SFX: A
gunshot!) Did you HEAR that knife-edge chop hit Tollbooths'
chest? Tollbooth is dazed, and he's holding his chest,
wincing in pain! Canyeta moves his hand away and cracks
him again! JEEZUHS! he just ripped through Tollbooths
uniform! He DOES have razor blade hands!"
MYSTIC: "Don't believe the hype, Riddick..."
RIDDICK: "Canyeta Roars at the crowd, and he whips
Tollbooth out NO! Tollbooth no-sold the irish whip and just
gripped Canyeta up by his throat... NO! Canyeta broke the
hold, and NAILED THE DIAMOND CUTTER! Tollbooth shakes like
he's been given 50,000 volts! Theres the bell! (LEVIATHAN
runs out, roaring at the fans, and holding his palms up
like a monster! Some ringside fans run from their seats!)
here comes Leviathan, and he sure is big!"
MYSTIC: "How many mutants we got back there?"
RIDDICK: "Leviathan climbs over the top rope and just
throws Canyeta aside, and picks up Tollbooth! Leviathan
drags Tollbooth to the middle of the rinnnnngLEVIATHAN
BOMB! The ring just shook! What a Powerbomb, and Tollbooth
is closed for repairs! Theres the cover...1..2..THREE!
Tollbooth is gone, and now theres a bigger menace in the
ring! Carlos Canyeta runs over to Javid Dones, and picks
him uhp... he cinches him in... PILEDRIVER! Javid Dones
twitching, and Nathan Storm is back in this, and just
hopped on the top rope and hit a Cannonball onto Black
Sage! Sage is down, and Storm rolls outta the ring!
Commissioner Sullivan is gone, and Storm goes under the
ring for a table! Storm propping it up on the apron and the
ring barrier again, I guess this was the spot we were
supposed to see earlier... Storm rolls back in, and whips
Black Sage in, NO REVERSAL! Storm hits the ropes, and Black
Sage right in front of that table, and he digs down and
backbody drops Storm over the topNO! Storm got over the
shoulder, and cinches in Black Sage by the waist... Black
Sage looking around for an escape.. THERE IS NONE! OH MAN!
NATHAN STORM JUST BELLY TO BACK SUPLEXED BLACK SAGE OVER
THE TOP ROPE, AND THROUGH THAT TABLE! Black Sage is
GONE!(Crowd gets up and pops loud, as some Hardcores in the
front row start butting chests!) Nathan Storm has shown us
some spectacular moves, and he looks like a fave to win
this if he can stay alive in there!"
H'WOOD: "Theres the bell!"
RIDDICK: "And who's this... Oh lord!" (CUTTO: The ring,
where THE BAT appears, wearing his 'Bat-esque' ring mask
and lucha bodysuit, walks out with a handheld mic!)
BAT: "HEY! SHUDDUP! (Crowd gets louder!) You know what?
That damned president, or whoever signs my check called me
up and said I had to change my name! For WHAT? I'm the Bat,
and you KNOW I'm the Bat! But just for the sake of being
the man, I'll change my name... to MAVERICK! But guess
what? The costume stays, baby!" (The BA- Uh, MAVERICK
tosses the mic to the ringkeeper and climbs into the ring,
and everybody stops what they're doing to look at him! The
crowd chuckles as MAVERICK runs in and starts telling
somebody to come give him a piece! All All four men look
at each other, and RUSH HIM!)
RIDDICK: "The Ba.. sorry, MAVERICK, bit off more than he
could chew, as all four men rush him in the ring and start
terrorizing him! Maverick gets handed off to Leviathan,
Leviathan has him uhhhhPPPLEVIATHAN BOMB! Maverick gets
SPIKED! Leviathan picks up Maverick and runs him over the
top but NO! Maverick holds on, and pulls himself up!
Leviathan turns to Carlos Canyeta and The B.. Maverick runs
over and dropkicks Leviathan in the back! CANYETA DIGS DOWN
AND BACK BODYDROPS LEVIATHAN OVER THE TOP ROPE! Leviathan
is gone! Canyeta turns around to look outside, and Maverick
wheels Canyeta around... He cinches him in... BATPLEX!
Maverick gets on the second buckle and screams at the crowd
to tell him who the man is, and LOOK! Canyeta just popped
back up to his feet! Canyeta walks up to Maverick, and taps
him in the back! Maverick turns around, and Canyeta jumps
on the first rope, hops up and NAILS MAVERICK WITH A
SECOND ROPE DIAMOND CUTTER! Maverick out of it, and Canyeta
makes the cover... 1...2...THREE! Maverick is gone, and
Canyeta gets up and starts tapping his throat with his
hands!"
MYSTIC: "Thats the same thing Reggie Miller did to the
Knicks in the Playoffs!"
H'WOOD: "CHOKE ARTIST! CHOKE ARTIST!"
RIDDICK: "Maverick not leaving ringside, as he's pulling
out a table, and screaming at the ring, and some officials
show up to restrain him! He's saying that he shouldn't have
been eliminated!"
MYSTIC: "Oh, YES he should've..."
RIDDICK: "NOW who's coming down the isle? It's Toby!" (The
crowd doesn't know what to do as TOBY runs out wearing a
Hockey Jersey, a Sombrero and Chemistry gloves! He wades
throug the UWA officials, and smashes Maverick with a left
hand! Maverick irate, tries to get back at him, but the
officials drag him away! Toby left alone in the isle, picks
up a little girl from over the railing, and starts dancing
with her! Theres the bell! The crowd is getting up... and
HERE COMES THE MESSIAH! (Crowd explodes as WINSTON STEELE
walks to the edge of the curtain, hands on hips, and
cracking gum! He looks left, then right, and slowly raises
his arms in the air! A couple of fans pat him on the back,
as STEELE walks up the isle in an air of smugness! STEELE
gets to ringside as TOBY finishes his dance, and places the
girl back in her seat, and backs into STEELE! TOBY turns
around, and STEELE looks him up and down in disgust!)
H'WOOD: "Uh-oh..."
RIDDICK: "Toby putting his fists up, telling Winston Steele
to come get some, and Steele looks at him again, and flags
him off! He won't even acknowlegde Toby as a threat! Steele
walks right past him AND WHEELS AROUND AND NAILS HIM- NO!
TOBY WAS READY! HE BLOCKED STEELES PUNCH! TOBY ON FIRE,
PEPPERING STEELE WITH QUICK RIGHT HANDS! Toby winds up, and
he's shucking and jiving, and he nails a HARD Right-WRONG!
Steele grabs Toby by his Jersey and just kneed him in the
gut, and pulled his Jersey over his head, and he's beating
him silly! (The crowd is getting loud! Winston Steele picks
up Toby by the waist and RAMS HIM INTO THE RAILING! Steele
grabs the railing for support and starts putting the boots
into Toby's midesction! Steele finishes Toby off, and he
slides down to the floor, and Steele turns around AND GETS
MET BY NATHAN STORM AND A PLANCHA! STORM JUST LEAPED
THROUGH THE MIDDLE ROPES AND LANDED RIGHT ON STEELE! Storm
and Steele are rolling all over the concrete like blood
enemies! In the ring, Javid Dones isn't doing much, and
Carlos Canyeta picks him up and scoop.. SLAM! Canyeta goes
for the cover, 1....2....WHAT!? Dones got a shoulder up!
Canyeta can't believe it, and neither can this crowd!"
MYSTIC: "That would be... wind #7..."
RIDDICK: "Steele and Storm are tearing each other apart, as
the officials escort Toby back to the dressing area!
Winston Steele gets the upper hand on Nathan Storm, and
props him up against the railing, and starts HAMMERING him
with hard right hands! That last one busted Storms' nose!"
RIDDICK: "Winston Steele still laying the boots into Storm,
and Storm finally wheels Steele around, and does a DOUBLE
BOOT KICK RIGHT TO STEELE'S CHEST! Steele almost goes over
the railing, and Storm limps away, checking his nose! Yep,
it's bleeding alright! Storm walks over to the table that
Maverick pulled out and props it up on the ringpost! Storm
limps over to Steele, who is catching his breath, and whips
him in OHH LORD! Steele hit that table with his shoulder
HARD, and cracked the table right down the middle! Steele
staggering back, holding his shoulder, and Storm cinches
him innnnnNO! Steele throws an elbow to Storms face, wheels
him around, and NAILS AN ARMBREAKER DDT!"
MYSTIC: "That's kinda like the Single Arm DDT, but he hooks
the arm instead of the head!"
H'WOOD: "Impressive, MOST impressive..."
RIDDICK: "The fans have changed sides on Steele, who now
walks over to the ringside area, and starts flipping the
third row off! Steele grabs Storm and picks him up, and
picks a half of that table up, and SMASHES HIM IN THE ARM
WITH IT! Storm down, and he's screaming!"
H'WOOD: "I see what Steele's trying to do here! He's
dismantling Storm's offense! If he can't use his arms, he
can't plant half of those Gymnastic moves!"
RIDDDICK: "Steele cracks Storm AGAIN with the broken table,
and Storm scooting away from Steele, and Steele laughing,
and pointing at himself, screaming for Storm to 'Give it up
and quit already!' What NERVE! Steele thinks that he has
Nathan Storm outclassed!" (Boos)
MYSTIC: "Hey, he's the Leader of the Next Generation! You
can't have any whiners in there! Steele will kill 'em all
and let God sort 'em out!"
RIDDICK: "Uh.. anywho, inside the ring, Carlos Canyeta is
hellbent on putting Javid Dones out! Canyeta is up and
scoops up Javid DohhhhJAVID WITH THE SCHOOLBOY! 1...2...
NO! CANYETA KICKED OUT! Javid staggers to his feet, and
rolls under the ropes and is resting on the apron! Theres
the bell, and here comes the man who is NO stranger to the
Random Rumble! (CUTTO: 'MARVELOUS' MIKE CHAIN, running top
speed to the ring, clobbering STEELE in the process, and
slides in and starts battling CANYETA!) Mike Chain is in,
and man, hes been waiting a long time to get in there!"
H'WOOD: "Mike Chain was beaten by a hair in the very end of
the Mid-American Tourney for the title by Dark Warrior, and
Chain knows how to act out there, especially if he can last
long enough for his bodyguard to show up!"
RIDDICK: "Mike Chain all over Carlos Canyeta, and Chain
whips Canyeta into the ropes, Chain with the clothesline
NO! Canyeta ducked! Chain turns around and BUSTS CANYETA
WITH THE SUPERKICK! Canyeta falls down hard, holding his
chin, and Javid Dones is still dead on the apron! Mike
Chain sees Dones and drags him in the ring! He picks him up
and whips him into the ropesssssLETHAL INJECTION, BABY!
Mike Chain is on one knee, and he's soaking up the boos in
here, and Chain makes a cutthroat gesture! That is ALL for
Javid Dones!"
MYSTIC: "He made a great showing!"
RIDDICK: "Chain hooks the leg,.... 1...2...WHAT THE -
Carlos Canyeta just ripped Chain off of Dones, and just
BEHEADED HIM WITH ONE OF THOSE CHOPS! ANOTHER! ANOTHER!
(Crowd is up!) Chain is rocked!"
H'WOOD: "Lookit his chest welt up! It looks like a Jersey
Tomato!"
RIDDICK: "Chain trying to backpedal, but Canyeta is feeling
the surge! Canyeta whips Chain innnnnBIG BACK BODY DROP!
Chain back up, and holding his back, and Canyeta picks him
up again.. whips him innnnnANOTHER ONE! Chain is screaming!
Canyeta stomping around the ring, pulling his arms up and
down! He's calling for the Diamond Cutter, and these fans
wanna see it! Canyeta picks up ChainNNNO! Chain with a
surprise Clothesline! Chain picks up Canyeta and whips him
innnnnLETHAL INJECTION ON CARLOS CANYETA! Canyeta PLANTED!
On the outside, Winston Steele climbs in the ring!"
RIDDICK: "Winston Steele has just climbed in the ring, and
left Nathan Storm to die out there! Storm's nose has been
busted, and he's holding his arm, rolling around on the
floor!"
MYSTIC: "Winston Steele don't play!"
RIDDICK: "Steele is in, and he walks over to Mike Chain who
just dropped down for the cover on Carlos Canyeta! 1... Not
even a two count, and Winston Steele kicks Mike Chain in
the head! Chain gets up and turns around to get met by
WINSTON STEELE AND THAT ARMBREAKER DDT! Chain flops around
on the mat, and Canyeta gets up, Steele eyes him and runs
him into the ropes... Steele crouches down and LIFTS
Canyeta into the airrrrrBUH BUH CUTTER! Or... The Steele
Cutter?"
MYSTIC: "That's the Legend Killer!"
RIDDICK: "Well, whatever it is, it sure just hurt Canyeta!
Mike Chain up, holding his arm, Steele whips him in as
well... LEGEND KILLER! Chain down! Steele picks up Javid
Dones... whips him in OH LORD, THE SAME DEAL, and Winston
Steele has cleaned up the ring! (STEELE drops to one knee,
and nods in the boos, like he's saying 'You KNOW I'm the
stuff, doncha?' At ringiside, STORM gets to his feet, and
grabs that pail that he brought to ringside)
H'WOOD: "Here comes Storm with that bucket of fish!"
RIDDICK: "Storm on the apron, and Winston Steele gets up
and turns around, and he rushes Storm! Storm just cracked
Steele in the head with the bucket, the dropped down and
snapped Steeles neck on the third rope! Steele goes flying
back, and hits the mat! (Bell rings, and DEVEN RIDER runs
out to the ring) Javid Dones still down, drapes the arm
across Chain AND Canyeta's chests.. Referee Greg Herpin
over! 1...2.... BOTH MEN KICK OUT! Nathan Storm irate,
wiping the blood off of his face, enters the ring and picks
up Winston Steele and places his head between the second
and third ropes! Storm standing over Steele, slapping him
in the head, asking him about a table and a seal?"
MYSTIC: "That joke's just not funny anymore!"
RIDDICK: "Nathan Storm rolls out and grabs that pail, and
he's nodding to the crowd! He's not... OH YES! NATHAN STORM
JUST DUMPED THAT BUCKET OF FISH ON WINSTON STEELES HEAD!
(The crowd goes crazy as STEELE throws convulsions,
punching at anything thats in front of him!) Nathan Storm
has tried to embarass Winston Steele, and now Storm turns
around, JUMPS ON THE GUARD RAILING, SPINS AROUND AND
LEGDROPS STEELE THROUGH THE ROPES! Steele landed hard on
top of those smelly fish! Storm gets up and nearly slips,
but holds on to the apron, laughing! Winston Steele looks
hurt after that last move, and starts fighting to his feet!
he is M-A-D, and you can see the hate in the eyes! Inside
the ring, Deven Rider picks up Mike Chain, and tosses him
in the corner, and he follows him in! He's on the buckle,
and he's got a handfull of hair! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!
FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! Rider jumps down, and Dropkicks
Chain right in the mush! Chain almost falls over the top
rope, but catches himself! Carlos Canyeta coughing
violently, and he scrambes to his feet and covers Javid
Dones! Wait! Nathan Storm is in the ring, and he just
kicked Canyeta in the head, breaking the hold! Javid Dones
hasn't moved in about three minutes!"
MYSTIC: "Somebody just chuck him already!"
RIDDICK: "Winston Steele is VERY upset, and he's climbing
up the stairs, and he's wiping that fish juice out of his
eyes! Nathan Storm is up, and he's about to run to the
ropes for some move on Chain and STEELE JUST INTERFERED!
Steele ran up and threw Nathan Storm in a Sleeper hold!
Storm caught offguard, and he's grabbing at air now!"
H'WOOD: "The bell just rang again!"
RIDDICK: "OK! Who's gonna come out this time! We're winding
down, and here comes 'ALL ATTITUDE' NICK ISAACS!" (ISAACS
walks to the ring slowly, and rips off his glasses and
hands them to a little girl, then snatches them back and
laughs! The girl starts crying as ISAACS gets on the apron!)
RIDDICK: "'All Attitude' Nick Isaacs is in, and he jumps
into the melee! Storm is still stuck in that sleeper, and
the ref is checking his arm! It can't help referee Greg
Herpin's job any that Steele is screaming in his face to
check him every two seconds!"
MYSTIC: "He's making sure the bald midget is doing his job
correctly!"
RIDDICK: "Isaacs is over, and he grabs Devon Rider, whirls
him around, and cinches him in.... PILEDRIVER! Isaacs goes
for the cover...1...2...KICKOUT ON TWO AND A HALF! Isaacs
on his knees, and he pulls Rider up again, and hits ANOTHER
Piledriver! Isaacs ain't here to make friends, and he's
creaming the mat with Rider! Javid Dones is coughing, and
he finally makes it to his feet, and he's just limping
around the ring, trying to get the cobwebs clear! Carlos
Canyeta eyes Javid and runs over and clobbers him with a
high knee smash, and now Canyeta is putting the boots to
him, holding onto the top rope for leverage! Javid taking a
pounding! (Bell rings, and DAN VANDAL runs out with a
backpack! he gets to ringside, pulls out a can of
spray-paint, and sprays 'VANDAL-IZED' on the apron drape!
He drops the bag, and he rolls in!) Dan Vandal just
entered the ring, and he attacks Nick Isaacs, who was
setting up Deven Rider for another Piledriver! Nathan Storm
still in that sleeper, and Steele is smiling wide, and
wrenching it in! He wants to put the youngsters lughts out!
The ref picks up the arm and it drops once He picks it up
again and it drops again! The ref picks it up one more time
and it dropsssNNNO WAY! (Crowd gets loud!) STORM FIGHTING
IT! Steele is shocked, and tries to wrench it in, but NO!
Storm grabs Steeles head with both hands and hits the mat!
JAWBREAKER! Steele flies backwards, and Storms scurries to
his feet, and whips him in! Storm with the FRANKENATHAN!
Steele outta his boots! Storm is is heated up, and he's
just leaning on the ropes, holding up his hand! Steele
staggers to his feet, dizzy, and Storm runs past him, hits
the ropes, rebounds again, PLANTS the top rope MY LORD!
STORM JUST TWISTED AROUND IN MID AIR AND BULLDOGGED WINSTON
STEELE! Thats' his finisher, The Springboard Bulldog!
Steele is OUT, and Nathan Storm goes for the cover! He's
noddinghis head with the count! 1....2... The end of
Winston Steele right herrrrOH NO! Steele got the foot on
the rope!"
H'WOOD: "Green mistake, right there.."
RIDDICK: "Storm is up, and he.. HE GETS CINCHED INTO A
GERMAN SUPLEX BY CARLOS CANYETA! LOOKIT THAT BRIDGE!
1...2.... Mike Chain up, and he breaks the pin! Dan Vandal
spins Chain around, and rocks him with a hard right hand!
Chain teeters, and Vandal with a SPINNING KICK! Chain
staggers back RIGHT INTO A ROLLUP OF CARLOS CANYETA!
Canyetaaaaaaa1...2....NO! (Crowd is on the edge of their
seats!) Dan Vandal stomps over to Nick Isaacs, and nails
HIM with a spinning Savatte Kick! Vandal taps Storm on the
shoulder, and points at Deven Rider who is just getting up!
Vandal making gestures, and Storm nods! Storm on one side
of Rider, Vandal on the other... OH MY LORD! TOTAL
ELIMINATION ON DEVEN RIDER! Storm nailed the low sweeping
kick, and Rider hit the high cross leg whip! Rider is down
LOW, as Vandal rolls him up into a ball, and gets the
1...2.. THREE COUNT! What a move! Deven Rider is gone!
Theres the bell! (Big TEX WAYNE runs out in full cowboy
gear; chaps, Duster and bullrope! He drops the items off at
the apron and climbs in, and just chucks Dan Vandal over
the top rope! VANDAL is eliminated!)
RIDDICK: "Tex Wayne has hit the ring, and he just chucked
Dan Vandal out! He spots Nick Isaacs, he throws HIM over
the top rope! ISAACS is gone! This guy is cleaning house!
Wayne grabs Javid Dones and whips him innnn Wayne off the
other ropessssBIG FLYING LARIAT! I SWEAR I SAW ONE OF
DONE'S TEETH FLY BY THE BOOTH! Wayne a house of fire, and
he picks up Carlos Canyeta he whips him into the ropes.. HE
PICKS HIM UP IN A BEARHUG! LOOKIT CANYETA SCREAM!"
RIDDICK: "Tex Wayne has Carlos Canyeta up in that bearhug
and he's squeezing the life outta the man with the razor
hands! This ig Texan just came in and eliminated two men in
about ten seconds!"
MYSTIC: "Well, they make everything big down in Texas, and
this guy is no exception!"
RIDDICK: "Winston Steele gets to his feet, and he stumbles
around, and falls into Tex Wayne, who winds up breaking the
Bearhug, and CANYETA COMES ALIVE! DIAMOND CUTTER! Tex Wayne
didn't see it coming, and Canyeta rolls over and hooks the
leg... one....TWO... NO! Wayne gets the shoulder up! SO
CLOSE! (Bell rings, and JIMMY RAY VAUGHN lumbers out from
behind the curtain, and charges the ring!)
MYSTIC: "Uh-oh..."
RIDDICK: "Uh-oh is RIGHT! The 'Specialist' is here, and
he's here to save Mike Chain! Chain is smiling wide, as
Vaughn gets over the top rope and looks at Chain for
instructions! Chain points at Wayne, and Vaughn just RIPPED
Canyeta off of him and grabbed Wayne! Wayne still a little
groggy, VAUGHN JUST PICKED HIM UP AND MUSHED HIM OVER THE
TOP ROPE! TEX WAYNE IS GONE! Now Chain tells Vasughn to
pick up Javid Dones, and Vaughn whips Dones in... LETHAL
INJECTION! Chain with the cover, and Chain rips Dones up
from the pin, and waves his finger at the ref! (boos!)
Chain picks up Dones again, and whips him innnnnSIDEWALK
SLAM BY JIMMY RAY VAUGHN! NOW Chain nods his head, and lets
Vaughn pin him! 1....2....STORM OFF THE SECND ROPE WITH A
LEG DROP ON VAUGHNS NECK! Vaughn gets up, and grabs Storm
by his neck, and Steele gets up and attacks Jimmy Ray
Vaughn! They see where the threat lies now!"
MYSTIC: "Do something, Chain!"
RIDDICK: "Carlos Canyeta is over, and he attacks him as
well! Thery'e trying to heave him over the top, and they
almost have him! (Bell rings, and 'HEARTSTOPPER' HECTOR
ALVEREZ runs down the isle! He slides in the ring, and
CHAIN turns around and Clotheslines him! CHAIN picks
ALVEREZ up and throws him over the top by the seat of his
pants!)
MYSTIC: "Oh MAN!"
RIDDICK: "Hector Alverez wasn't even in the ring a second,
and gets eliminated! Mike Chain is IRATE, and he stomps
over to the crew of men, and starts whipping them off of
Vaughn! Javid Dones crawls to his feet, using the ropes as
support! There's one man left in the back, and this one
goes into overtime soon! Chain grabs Nathan Storm, and he
just PILEDROVE HIM THROUGH THE MAT! Mike Chain scrambles to
his feet and nails Winston Steele with a Superkick! He
nails Canyeta! Canyeta eats Sweet Chin Music! Chain is
screaming at Vaughn, 'Lets FINISH this already!"
MYSTIC: "I feel the same way!"
RIDDICK: "Theres the bell, and here comes the last man!
It's DAMIEN WINK, and he looks ready to brawl! Wink slides
in, and he turns Chain around, and he nails him with a HARD
right hand! Chain stunned! Vaughn turns around, nailed him
with a hard right! Wink taking Chain and Vaughn to school,
whips Vaughn in and Vaughn reversed it! Wink hits the
ropes, and Vaughn picks him up higGGHHHHHH CHAIN JUMPS UP
AND BRINGS WINK DOWN WITH A HOTSHOT ONTO THE THIRD ROPE!
Wink convulsing, and Vaughn picks him up, scoops him up and
TOSSES DAMIEN WINK OVER THE SIDE! Chain turns to Vaughn,
and they hug! Chain turns around, and WAIT! JAVID DONES IS
UP, AND HE CLOTHESLINED BOTH VAUGHN AND CHAIN OVER THE TOP
ROPE! (The crowd is going nuts!) Javid Dones took it all
the way! There's four men in that ring, and the last two
men will go into that ladder match for the World title!"
MYSTIC: "I can't wait!"
RIDDICK: "All four men are up, and they all start trying to
toss each other over the top rope! Wait, Canyeta is up, and
he rocks Storm! He rocks Dones! Steele! Canyeta screams,
runs off the ropes, and nails a CROSSBODY BLOCK, AND AND
ALL FOUR MEN GO OVER THE TOP ROPE AND TO THE FLOOR! OH MY
GOD!" (The crowd is up and going crazy!)
(The crowd is going nuts!)
RIDDICK: "What happened! All four men went over the top
rope, and looks like they all hit the floor at the same
time! Let's look at the replay!"
(CUTTO: the replay, where we see a timecoded video of all
four men hitting the floor with SOME body part at the same
time.)
MYSTIC: "Not a screwjob finish! That REEKS!"
RIDDICK: "Well, maybe not. Commissioner Sullivan is at
ringside, and he's talking with the referee, and the ring
annoucner, and theyre watching the replay! Sullivan says
soemthing to the ring announcer, and he walks away! Let's
go down to Lee-Baby Simms and the announcement!"
SIMMS: "AFTER A REVIEW OF THE LAST SECONDS OF THE RANDOM
RUMBLE BY CHIEF REFEREE GREG HERPIN AND COMMISSIONER
SULLIVAN, THE COMMISSIONER HAS WARRANTED THAT YES, ALL FOUR
MEN TOUCHED THE FLOOR AT THE SAME TIME! (Boos!) SO, INSTEAD
OF A LADDER MATCH FOR THE WORLD TITLE.. THE COMMISSIONER
HAS INSTATED THAT THERE WILL BE A *FOUR-WAY* LADDER MATCH
FOR THE TITLE! (The room EXPLODES! All four wrestlers at
ringside have different shades of shock on their faces!)
THIS WILL BE A UWA 'KING OF THE HILL' LADDER MATCH, AND THE
NORMAL LADDER RULES WILL APPLY! THE FIRST MAN TO GRAB THE
BELT OFF OF THE HOOP SUSPENDED FROM THE RING WILL BE THE
-NEW- UWA WORLD CHAMPION! (Cheers!) THE WRESTLERS WILL GET
A REST PERIOD, THEN WE WILL FINISH THIS MATCH... UWA STYLE!"
(The crowd is up, and applauding the wrestlers, who all
look at each other and start limping up to the dressing
rooms!)
RIDDICK: "I don't believe it! I have NEVER heard of a
four-way Ladder match, and we're going to see one in a few
moments! I can't wait! THIS... will be an epic event! We're
gonna take a break, but we'll be right back!"
(FADEIN: To the broadcast booth, where we see RIDDICK,
HOLLYWOOD and MYSTIC, with anticipatory looks on their
faces!)
RIDDICK: Ok, we are back, and before we go to the... Final
Four, as some people are saying... of the Random Rumble,
where we'll see four survivors go into a KING OF THE HILL
Ladder match for the UWA World Championship, I want to see
what the rest of my colleagues have on their minds! Anne, a
winner?"
MYSTIC: (Twirls around in her chair and chewing on a
pencil) "Ya know Riddick, when I read that rap sheet an
hour ago with all of those newbies names on there, I
could've made a Boston College dollar thinking that Mike
Chain would've walked outta here with it all! Well, THAT
was before Sullivan changed the rules of the game! So now?
With the talent out there getting stitched up in the back
for one more go? I'd... have to give it to Nathan Storm.
He's got that aerial, Hardcore style, and I can't see those
ham-n-eggers getting past that!"
H'WOOD: "I'm looking at the Messiah of the Mat to take it
all here! Look at him! He's the freshest man, and plus, he
has more to prove, in my opinion! This man has said some
very serius things as the week has progressed, and now this
is where he puts up or shuts up!"
RIDDICK: "Well you still have to factor in Carlos
Canyeta, and the man that was in there for almost the whole
Rumble - 'Devils Advocate' Javid Dones! I'm looking at
Canyeta to walk out of this, but I believe that ALL of those
men have proved a lot to us tonight! They're all winners in
my book!"
MYSTIC: "Where have I heard that before?"
RIDDICK: "Well, I'm getting reports from the crew that we
are ALMOST ready, but not yet! We have Moose Bison standing
by in the hallways with a new team that was SUPPOSED to be
on this card, but as you heard earlier, were bumped by
Commisioner Sullivan! Moose, take it away!"
(CUTTO: The Hallways of the Corestates Center. Where BISON
stands inbetween two rugged looking men, dressed in their
wrestling attire, but are wearing satin Starter-type
baseball jackets that have 'SOUTHERN' stitched across the
chest in Varsity letters! Both men have Confederate
bandanas on - One man has his aroud his neck, the other is
wearing it on his head! Both men talk at each other quickly
over BISON, who is trying to start the interview.)
BISON: "Thank you Neil, and I am standing here with one of
the UWA's newest tagteam additions, Duane Skynard and
Charlie Crowe, the SOUTHERN REMEDY! Now, fellas, I know
you're well aware of the announcement at the beginning of
this night about your match getting pulled..."
SKYNARD: (In a heavy southern twang) "Thas' raight,
Bullwinkle! Yunno, me and Charlie were 'n the back, an'
when Sully said that we had to wait another week to get
som' ack-shun in the Yoo-Doubleya-Ay, I tellya' it made me
madder thanna' Ragin' bull, son! But I know we'll get it on
next week, an' if Sullivan can find us some REAL
competition, 'sides some guy... whusshis name, Charlie?
Tob-ahy?" (CROWE laughs, hands on hips! Suddenly, two men
walk onto the set and get in the REMEDY'S faces! It's TOBY,
and a huge, masked man, who glances at the camera, then
shoulders into the shot! The big man is massaging the
wrists as SKYNARD and CROWE get defensive.)
BISON: (To TOBY) "Look you two, I don't want any trouble..."
TOBY: "Then... move.. out of the way! (BISON steps aside!
TOBY pokes CROWE in the chest)
TOBY: "Southern Remedy... I GOT a partner, and he's big
like the rides at the Six Flags! We ARE gonna rock, next
week at INTO THE FIRE, and you can't escape! Losers!"
SKYNARD: "Ah don' 'preciate you comin out here 'n messin'
up OUR interview tahme, Toh-bahy! So I figger you need to
GIT ON OUTTAHEROOOOOOF! (The masked man WAFFLES SKYNARD
with a hard right hand! All four men jump at each other as
BISON tries to get some control! FADE TO BLACK!)
RIDDICK: "Oh my! Southern Remedy were trying to conduct an
interview when Toby..."
MYSTIC: "What IS that Goobers problem? He likes getting his
head kicked in or something?"
RIDDICK: "When Toby and another huge man walked out, and
picked a fight with Charlie Crowe and Duane Skynard! This
situation seems to have taken a turn, and we'll see what
comes out of it when we come to you next week, LIVE from
the Palestra, INTO THE FIRE style! Natrone Rice and a guest
wrestler will host the show every week..."
H'WOOD: "So what if the guy wants to wrestle?"
RIDDICK: "He'll know ahead of time, Lamont! Anything can
happen in UWA, so you'll just have to wait and see how it
turns out! But right now, we have a UWA World Champion to
crown! Ladies and Gentlemen, we are ready to RUMBLE, so
let's go down to the ring!"
(CUTTO: The ring area, where we see a huge ladder standing
up in the isle. The crowd is going crazy, as SIMMS works
the room)
SIMMS: "LADIES AND GENTLEMENNNNN... THIS... IS THE KING OF
THE HILL MATCH! (Pop!) THIS MATCH HAS LADDER MATCH RULES,
WHERE THE ONLY WAY TO WIN IS BY GRABBING THE UWA WORLD
TITLE OFF OF THAT METAL HOOP SUSPENDED IN THE AIR SOME
FIFTEEN FEET! HERE ARE YOUR PRINCIPALS! (MUSIC UP: 'Oh
Yeah' by Yello. The crowd looks around, and starts booing
when they see who walks out of the back.) LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN, MAN NUMBER ONE! HERE IS 'THE LEADER OF THE NEXT
GENERATION'... WIN-STUHHHHHHHHHHHN STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELE!"
RIDDICK: (V/O) "Winston Steele coming out, and these fans
don't like him AT all!"
MYSTIC: (V/O) "Why don't you go down there and tell him
that? I'm sure he'd like to feed you his fist!"
(CUTTO: STEELE walking to the ring, cracking gum, and he
climbs in the ring, and just leans on the ropes, staring at
the isle. Some overzealous fan