The Ivy League: Hemispheres
Reported on Monday, March 27 2006
This particular part of my gig can be hard sometimes. By nature, I'm supposed to let the Psycho Bitch run wild in the Ivy League. By nature, I'm supposed to take this opportunity to rant about everything that angers me about this business and sport and let it fly here. You've seen it - with columns titled 'Fuck you, Erik Kelly' and 'Relentless,' my rant against Teri Fucking Melton, and my untitled commentary on when the OCW split from the fWo. Behind the anger and the Psycho Bitchery, I've tried to keep an objective nature. It's been easiest, of course, when I haven't had a personal stake in the situation at hand. That being said, in the past year and a half or so there have been drastically fewer columns coming out, because I haven't been angry.
I know, it's hard to believe, but I haven't been angry. Besides that, I've been doing a lot less in-front-of-camera Poison Ivy things since 2003, and a lot more behind-the-scenes Ivy McGinnis things. And I genuinely like just about all the boys, and just about all the girls. It's really hard for me to get angry enough to write one of these anymore.
Of course, sometimes it's damned easy. And if this offends you then you're probably part of the problem, you egotistical son of a bitch.
The Survivor Series match that the East sponsored was, by all accounts, a raging success. The ten wrestlers involved put on a clinic of how this business can be at its best. Both sides were going at it with pride for their particular division, with the individual stories highlighted in the context of the whole. Everyone in the West hates Troy. Michael Manson is a drug-free fruitcake. Joey Melton owns him. Eli Flair and Troy Windham are gearing up for Numbah Five, and Felix Red and Dr. Silver are scheduled to meet up for the NFW World Heavyweight Championship, so how does Doc deal with the fact that he's gotta team with his top contender, and how does Eli deal with the fact that he's gotta team with his greatest enemy?
I thought the match was incredible. I thought everyone did their part to a T. And I thought that, especially in light of the fact that Troy has already sent in his two weeks' notice, it was more important to get the Doc/Felix confrontation to the forefront, rather than the Eli/Troy confrontation. And it worked, splendidly.
Then I read the comments that someone leaked to the dirtsheets. And by someone, I mean someone affiliated with NFW East who couldn't deal with the fact that it wasn't gonna be a five-to-one sweep in favor of their boys. You arrogant, immature, fucking children. You self - important, egomaniacal, pricks.
But the reason... the reason was the priceless thing. Let me explain to you, O Denziens of the East, why the very idea of an NFW World Championship is such a bad one.
Ultratitle.
The wrestlers are fighting for the Ultratitle, remember? Two divisions, the East and the West, wrestle for a twelve - week season and then meet in the playoffs, where the best of one division meets up with the best of the other, and they wrestle to see who the Ultratitle champion is. Then it's over, and the only remnant besides the paydays and the memories is the bragging rights, assuming the winner comes back the next season. Michael Manson should've told them what the script is. And sure, Michael Manson was around from the get-go, he won the first Ultratitle by beating the other guy that was around from the get-go, if he wants to wander about with a belt around his waist to show that he won the first Ultratitle, more power to him.
But now that it's apparently considered a title to be fought for and over... the question has to be asked - what is the East fighting for? The Ultratitle, or the NFW World Title belt? And what's worth more? And - I don't know that the numbers are official yet, but I'm pretty sure my unofficial count has Felix Red either five or ten points in front of Dr. Silver in the East standings. Who's the East target? The guy with the belt, or the guy on top of the standings?
And to wit... the word 'World' implies that Dr. Silver represents the whole of New Frontier Wrestling. When's the last time the West saw a title defense? Exactly. You can't represent a promotion if you're not willing to represent that promotion. And not only does Dr. Silver not represent the West, not only does the West not want to be represented by him... but he doesn't want it either. Therefore, Dr. Silver is not the New Frontier Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion, he's the NFW Eastern Hemisphere Champion.
That's fine, and I'm sure he's done a great job, but let's call a spade a spade. If he's going to declare himself important for reasons other than his recently-vacated stranglehold on top of the NFW East, he should be honest with himself first.
I'm serious, I'd be saying the same thing if the NFW West decided to have their own Hemisphere Champion. The Champion is supposed to be the one with the target on his back. The one that has what everyone else in the wrestling promotion aspires to. The one who fights to his last breath to keep that title. In this case, Dr. Silver is the champion because he hasn't been pinned or made to submit... in matches where the belt was on the line... even though he's no longer in first place. Semantics? Maybe. But they're important semantics. If the Ultratitle Champion doesn't happen to have the NFW Title belt when he or she wins, are they going to give a crap? I wouldn't. The West's only real comparison point to the NFW Eastern Hemisphere belt is Eddie Mayfield's UWA Championship belt... and trust me, Eli doesn't respect that one either. Eli didn't want the belt, he wanted the ten points - and I believe he offered to lay down for Mayfield immediately after the match was over, should he have won, to give him back the belt but keep the points.
Eli Flair didn't disrespect the NFW World Title - he just called it what it is. A Hemisphere belt worth ten points in the standings. And in the case of the Survivor Series match, Rook Black got shortchanged with a mere five.
But that's not what pissed me off.
Don't believe what you read, guys 'n gals... Felix Red survived that match for one reason - because he was the only one everyone with a hand in things could agree on. It's the same principle behind why Mike Randalls was always either wearing or fighting for the UNIFIED Championship back in the days of the UCC - because he was charismatic and capable, and because he was the one person everyone could agree on deserving it. I'm not putting Felix or Mikey down... they're both incredible talents. But a spade's still a spade, even at Wrestlestock. I managed to see video of every single promo released by the NFW East, and... well... despite the results and the dirtsheets, the West owned the East. More completely than Joey Melton owned Michael Manson. More completely than Beef and El Janito own Steve. Based on every measurable aspect except for pride, there's no way in hell Dr. Silver and Felix Red were both 'supposed to' survive. And there's no way in hell Doc would've volunteered to put Eli Flair over. The fact that Silver has multiple victories over Eli Flair is one of the only selling points he's got left outside of the NFW Eastern Hemisphere belt.
This business breeds fear, paranoia, and in very rare instances, an athlete with enough confidence in their own ability to accept victories and setbacks in stride. It wasn't enough for the East to claim Survivor Series victory - they had to run to the sheets to declare 'Well---well we should have won by more but we're such nice guys we did this for the poor hapless West.' You got schooled, gentlemen... the best thing you can do is accept it for what it is and prepare. Because I'm willing to put money on the Ultratitle Finals being Dr. Silver, Felix Red, Dan Ryan or Yori Yakamo Jr. against Eli Flair, Joey Melton, Seymour Almasy or Rook Black. And if the East doesn't get their shit together, then none of 'em have a chance. And when both sides are on equal footing... then... you'll see what a massacre is all about.
Am I biased? Possibly.
But I'm also right.
This is Ivy.
